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Star Wars Captioning #70

An apology from Chris Hanel-

Hey all. As many of you have noted (some very vocally), I did not meet my promise of getting the captioning section updated within 7 days. I ended up going out of town for 2 weeks on very VERY short notice. Apparently, some people take the speed in which captioning is updated very seriously, as i have receieved some rather nasty emails dictating how i should do my job (and other details i won't mention here). I enjoy managing the captioning section and i always make every attempt to read every single one (in this case, almost 2000 submissions), and that can take some time (and plenty of willpower). I apologize about the circumstances surrounding this batch of captions and the time it took to get them online.

Now that that's out of the way... great submissions this time around. The lack of an obvious punchline (save a few 'death stick' puns) made for a real diverse selection to choose from. A few people went for the "Poke fun at the TFN Humor Guy" joke in an effort to bait me into making a smug response, but i'm not falling for it this time. Nuh-uh. No way.

That said.... here's the pick of the litter.

Elian Gonzales tries and fails with his new idea to stay in the states
by yoda's_waterboy

Boba: Tell us where Jar-Jar is and MAYBE we won't disintagrate you!
by captaineatagungan

"I didn't do it officer. It was the one armed man!"
by Guy "Chewie" Jones

"Oh, I guess it actually was a lightsaber in your pocket...well...uh...you can go now."
by thrawn's lackey

On opening night, fans were faced with a dilemma...pay hard earned cash to go in the cinema and watch the movie, or pay nothing to point and laugh at the morons who were giving free show outside
by Tara - Wan Kenobi

(Waving Hand) "You dont need to see my ticket stub..."
by Tara - Wan Kenobi

I think that is the first Jedi that needs glasses...
by Tara - Wan Kenobi

In a rejected scene, stand-ins demonstrate what would have happened if Obi-Wan actually did want a death stick.
by Dallas Jedi

The filming of Troops 2
by Ric

All right, buddy, no cutting in line.
by Darth Lairdman

Hey, you guys aren't suppose to exist until Episode V!
by Darth Lairdman

Boba: He's no good to me dead. Stormtrooper: Would you shut up already?
by The Guy With the Face

Distracted by his easy surrender, Boba and Trooper fail to notice the danger as the crafty Jedi puts the car in reverse and guns the engine
by Issaro

Why is the Jedi smiling? Simple, Stormtroopers can't shoot straight and any Fett dies soon enough. He was in no danger.
by Darth Mall of America

Another tasteless joke: "George gets the bid for the airport security contract."
by Carlo

"OK, punk. Hand over the leaked Episode III script and nobody gets hurt."
by Keith

So, I see you've constructed a lightsaber... YOU ARE SUCH A NERD...
by Mighty Mass

"Look Sir. Nerds!"
by Bort

Trooper: Do try that 'You don't wanna see my identification' trick with me, pal. Some old English bastard pulled that trick on me once, and I aint falling for it again!!'
by Obi Wan Kebab

Trooper Training Lesson #1: When patting a Jedi down for weapons, be sure to look everywhere -- you might try his HAND first.
by snowdog83

"You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?"
by Grandma Tarkin

Stortrooper: Psst! Can you see a thing in your helmet? Boba: No, can you?
by Darth Limbaugh

(Guy behind Owen) Look Ma! I'm on TF.N!!!!
by clonedmenace

The Halloween episode of Cops
by The Magnificent Meg

No wonder Darth Vader killed off 9,000 Jedi in a few years. You got idiots like this one that went out in public.
by Obi-Wan Tednobi

The budget for ep3 hits a low point.
by TK-421

AP Dateline San Francisco. In this picture a Unidentified Person was removed by theater security after telling a ticket seller republic credits will do.
by Obi-Wan Tednobi

"No, you have me mixed up with my brother, he's the one who updates TFN Humor."
by Boba Fatt

(Okay, so i lied. I laughed out loud when i read it and I kinda deserved it. Sue me. -Ed)

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