Thereís no one around to answer all my questions now that Benís gone. Itís a stark fact that continually reasserts itself each time I wonder what Iím supposed to do now. That brown robe he wore might as well have been made of pure mystery; he clothed himself in it and then left nothing else behind on the Death Star. I know Han likes to scoff at the idea of the Force, but when a manís body simply disappears at the touch of a lightsaber, thatís more than ďsimple tricks and nonsense.ĒHeir to the Jedi will be published in January 2015.
And I know the Force is real. Iíve felt it.
I still feel it, actually, but I think itís like knowing thereís something hidden in the sand while youíre skimming above it. You see ripples on the surface, hints that something is moving down thereómaybe something small, maybe something hugeóliving a completely different life out of your sight. And going after it to see whatís underneath the surface might be safe and rewarding, or it might be the last thing you ever do. I need someone to tell me when to dive into those ripples and when to back off.
I thought I heard Benís voice a couple of times during the Battle of Yavin, but Iím wondering now if that really happened. Maybe I only thought it did; maybe that was my subconscious speaking to meóa kind of wishful thinking. Heís been silent since, and I donít feel I can talk to anyone else about the Force. My confidants at this point consist of one blue and white astromech droid.