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XXXXX DUGS REPORT XXXXX CORUSCANT 040902 GST XXXXX FLASH XXXXX




"Not guilty, one hundred percent I am," a disheveled Yoda said at his arraignment hearing following the slow-speed pursuit that crossed over much of Coruscant.

Yoda, who is suspected in the shooting of convenience store clerk Mosh Anditovu, led Coruscant Police in a now-infamous "White Bantha" chase as they arrived to question him further. Yoda maintains that he was only heading to the nearest cantina "for a pint of McGuinness" but had no idea he was being chased. "In the shop, my own transport is," he said at the hearing. "Borrow Master Windu's, I did. Hard to see over, the dashboard it was."

That argument did not sway the grand jury, in part because of the substance paraphanelia that was also found on Yoda's person following his arrest. "He's loaded with gimer," said a police spokesbeing. "We think he's been chewing on the stuff for some time. It's been on the controlled list for centuries. Just because he's some bigshot Jedi doesn't mean he can get away with flaunting the law." When the evidence was brought up at the arraignment Yoda provided an alibi: "for medicinal purposes, it is!"

District judicial droid IT-0 has been assigned the duty of administering Yoda's trial, which is expected to last several days.

Meanwhile, a legal "dream team" headed up by J'onzee Cokrax, Flea Beeblebrox, Bors Shapiron and Dershwyzlrmsnquertz has been put together by the Jedi Council to defend their most visible and beloved icon. At the Temple's gift shop, where Yoda's visage adorns considerable merchandise, it's hard NOT to see the impact that a "guilty" verdict would have.

The trial begins later this week...

-----------------------------------------------------------
Filed By Mott Dug
Reports are moved when circumstances warrant
http://www.theforce.net for updates
(c)DUG'S REPORT 1138

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