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XXXXX DUGS REPORT XXXXX CORUSCANT 040302 GST XXXXX

"FRAMED, I HAVE BEEN!"


With a HoloNet News/Coruscant Times poll showing a 16% decline in public approval of the Jedi, it couldn't have been worse timing...

There it was: the flickering black-and-white of a holo-surveillance camera, apparently an image of esteemed Jedi Council elder Yoda holding up a convenience store. At gunpoint.

"The credit register you will open, or your (censored) head across this counter, I will blast!" screamed the diminutive figure to Drukkey's clerk Mosh Anditovu. Mosh was shot when he tried signaling for help. He remains in a bacta tank, in critical condition.

But as of this evening, confusion reigns as to WHAT to make of the footage.

MORE

"This'll be the shortest line-up of all time: it has to be Yoda. Hasta be," one source with Coruscant Police Department told the DUG'S REPORT on condition of anonymity. "How many of that... those... whatever they are, are running around anyway?"

"We don't know for certain that it IS Yoda!" cried Phyrus Donoholocron, fresh out of carbon-freeze, wasting no time in making the incident the top story of his new show for MSNaBooC. "Look at that gun, now look at Yoda: he can't even hold a lightsaber fercryinoutloud! You know, that's like, twenty years ago, back in..."

When he drifted back into coherency, Donoholocron suggested that Yoda was being set up by the Separatists.

As of this writing, Yoda has not given himself up, having sequestered himself in the Jedi Temple.

"Framed, I have been!" was his only statement to the press.

Yoda, the revered Jedi who once hosted a popular syndicated children's show, is hardly the image of an armed assailant. With public approval of the Jedi plummeting, Yoda has been among the few who has ranked among the most trusted beings in the galaxy.

But tonight, as celebrity attorney J'onzee Cokrax was spotted conferring with senior Jedi officials, the defenders of the Republic are steeling to defend themselves.

Hot, developing this is...

-----------------------------------------------------------
Filed By Mott Dug, image courtesy Andrew Wycoff
Reports are moved when circumstances warrant
http://www.theforce.net for updates
(c)DUG'S REPORT 1138

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