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Top 47 Lesser-Known Goals of the Evil Empire
- Part 2 of 2

by the readers of TheForce.Net


A message from TFN
Topic suggested and submissions edited by guest editor Cirrocco
He enjoyed your entries SO much, there are two lists. Because of the number of entries chosen, Top 46 becomes Top 47 this week. Enjoy!


Part 1 - Part 2


  1. to collect taxes from every poor working being while the emperor watches TV all day
    by Ami-chan

  2. To bring funk back to the galaxy, through pain and suffering
    by Teri'k Kel

  3. Encourage all employees to wear at least 20 pieces of flare on their uniforms. Oh, and name tags, too.
    by Jediteacher216

  4. Find the Kwisatz Haderach
    by AntiNicolae

  5. preventing Pinkie & the Brain from ruling the known universe.
    by geedog2

  6. Cover all the lands in a second darkness so complete that none can foresee its end! Bwaha... wait whose fan site am I on again?
    by Bird_of_Prey

  7. To find out who TFN Humor editor REALLY is.
    by Bird_of_Prey

  8. Fixing that vending machine on Dantooine
    by Darth Someone

  9. Make the biggest Womp-Rat Pizza in the Galaxy
    by GanDalfTheStoned

  10. to declare to the rebels all you base are belong to us
    by yamiangie

  11. to get tighter abs and slimmer thighs
    by Darth_Sarubious_Hottie

  12. to figure out the sound of one hand clapping...
    by Darth_sarubious_Hottie

  13. Figure out how to keep lashes curled during duel.
    by Shada

  14. Produce a "Dukes of Hazard 2000" movie
    by Boinga

  15. Getting back at the kid who called the Emperor "Four-Eyes" in third grade. Obviously, this was before he got contacts.
    by Jolinar of Malkshur

  16. film the whole season of TROOPS
    by rinoz

  17. To suck up all tiny little freighters that enter the Alderaan system for no particular reason except that it makes the plot work.
    by Grand Moff Tarkin

  18. To kick the football.
    by Charlie Brown

  19. the Galaxy's longest Conga line!
    by Brian

  20. moichandising! moichandising! Star Wars the lunch box! Star Wars the nose tissue!
    by Lucas

  21. Making it impossible to set the clock on my VCR.
    by Jar Jar Is Bantha Poo-Doo

  22. Getting a record deal
    by Rogue_0009

  23. Rescue Gilligan.
    by Jedi_Raptor07

  24. The bicycle kick in the last two minutes that sent them to the final match of the '82 world cup.
    by Jar Jar Bites

  25. They've come a long way, and they've killed a lot of people to get here, but now they've got one thing on their mind: They are going to KILL BILL!!!
    by Oobee Doob Scooby Dooby Banubi

  26. To wipe the galaxy of all “pull-my-finger” jokes.
    by Kettch-22

  27. Launch man into space and drive him insane by subjecting him to the worst movies ever made, releasing movies on the public
    by Ne Quis

  28. "Find out who stole my bike. I bet it was that damn Luke Skywalker kid. He's always been jealous of my super-cool decals." -Darth Vader
    by Shada

  29. To defeat their enemies. To see them driven before them. To hear the lamentations of their women.
    by papa_hymen

  30. Force all members of the Emperor's cabinet with opposing viewpoints into resignation
    by Ne Quis

  31. Create the perfect cup of Jawa Juice.
    by Chad Evans

  32. "Force the authors of 'Jaxxon's 11' to finish the freakin' story already" entry #301
    by Kitsune-chan

  33. Send a killer robot back through time to kill the mother of the resistance against the machines...Wait a sec. Wrong movie.
    by Jedi_Raptor07

  34. Unscrewing the salt shaker lids of Owen and Beru
    by Val

  35. Give a no-bid Alderaan reconstruction contract to the company Vader used to be CEO of
    by Ne Quis

  36. Be the first million people in line to see Star Wars Episode III.
    by Kyra

  37. Destroy that traitorous opening scrawl that first labeled it as the Evil Empire.
    by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards

  38. The "No Clone Left Behind" Education Program
    by WayneSolo

  39. Take out Star Fleet Command.
    by elvishjedi

  40. To make all citizens of Coruscant jump at the same time.
    by Finbarr Doyle

  41. Make microwave popcorn pop even FASTER
    by Finbarr Doyle

  42. Drastically lower the standard for Humor posts
    by Ne Quis

  43. before their fall, they were going to introduce a new torture technique, 15 hours of the mumble droid B-O-B-D-Y-L-A-N singing
    by yoduuuuuuuuuh

  44. Practicing spinning: because it's a good trick.
    by Darth Koon

  45. Sneak into your home and tear off your mattress tags.
    by greco the hutt

  46. To steal all the air from the peaceful planet of Naboo, thereby destroying the Gungans and saving the Empire. Everybody got that?
    by Mara Jade Fontaine

  47. To establish a chain of Sith Burgers where a quarter pound of Gungan burger is called a "Binks with cheese."
    by Michael

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