Parody lyrics copyright 1995 by Steven Cavanagh.
Notes: This one has a few SW “in jokes”. For example, in the RotJ space battle one of the ships is rumoured to be a shoe placed there by ILM. This song is also based around the “five mile fallacy” – the SSD is actually much longer.
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She was a vast machine, she was the Emperor's dream
she was the biggest damn starship that I'd ever seen
She was so huge in size, she swatted ships like flies
Had 'round about a hundred forty-four TIEs.
Gave the Rebels a scare, man you shoulda been there
She made them all run, they couldn't go anywhere
because all Hoth was shakin', the ice was breakin'
the skies were taken, and she was wastin' 'em, and you
You were FIVE MILES LONG
Yeah you, you were FIVE MILES LONG
So to Bespin she flew, went through a captain or two,
and ended up at Endor fighting ships and a shoe
Couldn't go for the kill, she had to hold 'em all still,
because the second Death Star was to "fire at will".
When the darndest thing- A busted up A-Wing
came right through the bridge and hit Piett on the chin
and the ship was breakin', set the Death Star shakin'
and fire was ragin', and just like Yavin, then she blew
You were FIVE MILES LONG
Yeah you, you were FIVE MILES LONG
I can't believe the size of you- you were FIVE MILES LONG
<solo to fade>.