[To Luke]: "Three of them? You're cut off, son. Have the Wookie take you home."
by Super Oogie

LUKE: Wow! Has anyone told you that you're the spitting image of Admiral Thrawn? BARTENDER: Don't try to change the subject Kid!
by Bitmap

"Sorry kid, better pack it up -- 'Futurama' already beat us to this storyline."
by Brian Haughwout

Bartender: Your spirits...they'll have to wait outside.
by Muppett

"Wizard! Barkeep, I'll have what THEY'RE having!" "Can I see some ID?" "Uh...how about a hot chocolate for me instead..."
by Brian Haughwout

Seems the ghosts can't hold their spirirts.
by Scott C.

Whatever they had, I want a double
by Scott C.

Thrawn's most sinister plan yet, introducing the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster to the universe
by Scott C.

So...what happened to the...aaaaah...regular bartender?
by Maulicious

Bartender: Is your friend going to be okay? Luke: Yeah, he's just mad 'cause he got killed off in the first movie.
by Tycho

After a long day of telling people where to go to learn and leaving cryptic messages the Jedi spirits go for some "Jedi spirits"
by Darth Ra

Luke always wondered what happened to Jedi after they died. Upon his return to the Mos Eisley Cantina, he discovered that life after death wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
by Rachael LoBosco

"Soon...will I rest. Yes. Forever hung over. Ahhhh. Earned it I have."
by Nick Zube, "Colonel Mustachio"

Luke to Bartender: May I inquire why you have a guinea pig on your shoulder?
by Jeda

"Yes, um, Grand Admiral Thrawn, sir, my Masters seem to be a little tipsy here; could I get some caf for them? Black, strongest you've got. All the blood rushing to Yoda's head can't be helping any."
by knutsonswl

The sad, untold story of why Jedi Masters really stick around after death: alcohol
by Dan Ford

The First Stage: Denial
by Yoda900

If my father was here he would be rolling in his grave.
by Emperoress Palpatine

Thrawn: "In the old days, I was a grand Admiral. Everyone respected me. Then these crazy Jedi ghosts showed up and no one wants to clear them away." Luke: "Shut up and pour me a cold one!"
by Strider

Luke "Uh, make that 'straight up' instead of 'on the rocks' please!"
by Tanglefoot

Bartender "Ok! Anybody else 'forget' their wallets? Hmm?"
by Tanglefoot

Luke looked at the bartender, "Oh, wine AND spirits. I getcha."
by Matt Adams

"Them? i don't know, they mumbled something about a 'disturbance in the force' then the passed out. Hey that's a cute little pet you got there!" "Thank you, it's my pet ysalamiri, Jojo"
by gembot

Yoda: "Wasted, I am! Mmmmm? Hee-hee-hee!"
by Ethan Hayward

I don't get it...they die once and it's like, two beers and WHAM!
by Tim Stephens

Grand Admiral Thrawn, magically resurrected from the dead, takes what looks like an comfy job at Wuher's bar, only to have to deal with a bunch of drunk Jedi ghosts on his first shift.
by Sean Walsh

After seven weeks of binge drinking, Obi-Wan is forced to admit to Luke that he and his friends have a drinking problem.
by Brian Barnes

Luke: All right dad, give me the keys to the speeder...
by moldy bun and a kenoli

"Music and blasters and old Jedi Masters....."
by Mike Drucker

It turns out that Thrawn hadn't been in the Unknown Regions, but just a bartender at the Cantina after the Battle of Endor
by Darth Obnoxious

"I'm sorry, you're in the wrong book. The Death Star was blown up six years ago, ObiWan, Darth, and Yoda are dead, and I've taken over Tatooine."
by Dash Martino

Kenobi: "You don't need to see his identification." Thrawn: "Yeah, whatever. Either you show me ID saying you're 21 or you gotta settle for cream soda."
by Jedi Dave

The trauma of having accidentally poisoned three Jedi Masters eventually drove Thrawn to a life of crime.
by BeeDub

Thrawn: We don't serve their kind in here. Luke: Whah? Thrawn: Your dad, he'll have to wait outside. The other guys too.
by Salana

Tender: Then this little guy whipped out a can of spinach and a lightsaber, this goofy music starts, and...well, just look at this place!
by SaberJuptr

"Um... what did they have?" "Ah, they also ordered the soup." "Right. Check please."
by Joylock

I think they like it.
by Jaina

Um, on second thought . . . I'll just have something mild.
by DVader8

"I'll have what the gentleman on the floor is having."
by madman

You can see them, right? C'mon, you mean to tell me that you don't see three drunk Jedi Masters right next to me?
by Chewie Baca

Thrawn always loved it at the cantina when it was Thursday Night when jedis drank free. That always meant the ghosts of yoda, anakin and obi-wan got smashed, then sang old corellian drinking songs
by Callista77