MASTER OF THE FORCE (To "Master of the House" from "Les Miserables")

Parody lyrics copyright 1999 by Steven Cavanagh.

Notes: This picks up when Vader first lands on the second death star to be greeted by Moff Jerjerrod.

Date: October 1999.

Episode: VI



Welcome to you

Commander, please

Stop with the welcome,

get off your knees.

He's on his way

Be on your toes

He who once wore

a Senator's robes.

No-one else but me

had the chance to see

much less could ever guess

he'd profess to be...


Master of the Force

Keeper of the Sith

Definately not a man to trifle with!

Ruler of at least

Twenty thousand worlds

Isn't he a hit with all the boys and girls!

Everyone you know reveres him

Every poster has his face,

I think you need a hand, Commander, cause he's coming to this place!


Master of the Force

Leader of the troops

keeps the common people under armoured boots

Given in to hate

Never has a heart

Got a little palace we call Coruscant.

He's the one and only Emperor

He's the one who can't be beat

Because he makes me kneel, I feel you'd better get this thing complete!



Master of the Force

Does things on the sly

Never caught the eye of all the dead Jedi

Built a war machine

Alderaan's destroyed

If it wasn't for him we'd be unemployed!

Doesn't even need protection

We don't have to guard the throne



If you try to blast the

master, you'll be sizzled to the bone!



What's that you say?

You need more men?

Don't mention personal

matters again.

Get this thing built

Push everyone

Double your efforts,

start with the gun.

Once more we can blow

Planets into scrap

And then it will be time

For a clever trap...


Rebels hit and fade

So they can't be beat

'Cause they're scattered round and spreading out the fleet

But we'd kill em quick

If we saw their face

So we've got a plan to get them in one place


If they think they see a weakness

They will think their time's arrived

And once they've made the trip, our ships will come and hit them from behind!

Think they'll infiltrate?

Let 'em come and try

Nobody can get in here without a TIE.

Troopers on the ground

Speeders in the air

Nothing on the moon except the teddy bears

Nobody can touch the Empire

What a brilliant master plan

And it's all because, the

master of the Force, of

course, is such a knowledgeable man!



Master of the Force

On the Darker Side

Doesn't need a cook to get his breakfast fried!

If he comes to you

Listen for the sound

Eerie choir music follows him around!

We know he can crush rebellion

We know he inspires fear


What a subjugator, Vader, and you say he's coming here?



I used to dream

A Jedi I became

But now I serve this man

and with a different name...


Master of the Force

Known him since Naboo

No-one else I have to give allegiance to!

Ever by his side

That is where I stand

Guess that I'm his artifical-right-hand man!

What a cruel and twisted genius

Ruling us with no remorse

What a brilliant mind, behind our clever Master of the Force!


Master of the Force!


Of the Darker Side!


Expert motivator-


-I'M terrified!


Never can forgive

Doesn't cut you slack


Got my fashion style- all his wardrobe's black!



Everybody hail the Emperor

Everybody give applause


To the one who's coming past!


Better build the station fast!


Everybody raise a blaster for the MASTER OF THE FORCE!