Top Ten Signs It's Time to Leave the Rebellion
by Jason Hutt
10. Get assigned as Luke's wingman or tail (See Biggs, Dak, Hobbie...)
9. The only words you're aloud to speak are "HHHHHyyyyyuuuuuhhhhh" or
8. Small moon mysteriously appears over "hidden" base
7. Told that Wampa's are just bigger, friendlier Ewoks
6. Assigned to fly an X-Wing and your name's not Luke or Wedge
5. Tired of getting "A bad feeling about this"
4. Keep getting assigned to cleaning out the Tauntaun pen...
3. Disappointed because you couldn't vote in the last Imperial election
because you never stay in one place long enough to claim residency
2. Instead of fighting the "Tyranny of the Empire", reduced to fighting the
not quite as menacing Dark James' (Sorry, newsgroup inside joke!)
And the number one reason...
1. Tired of taking orders from someone who should be the main course at a
Top Ten Signs It's Time to Leave the Empire
by Jason Hutt
10. Get ordered to go chase the Millenium Falcon
9. Get promoted to Star Destroyer Captian after commander "mysteriously"
kicks the bucket
8. Life Insurance for TIE Pilots just too expensive
7. When out with friends, can never pick up the good looking women
because you can't see out of the stupid helmet
6. Others make fun of you because you follow a talking squeeling toaster
around the Death Star
5. Find out Stormtrooper armor really made out of paper mache' (sp?)
4. Tired of having the Emperor making you dance just by twitching his fingers
3. You here someone say "Ah, flying through an asteriod field ain't all that bad"
2. When promised you would see the galaxy if you joined the imperial Navy
didn't know they meant going to Tatooine
And the number one reason:
1. Three words: Vader's sparring partner