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Top Ten Additions to Star Wars: The Ultimate Edition
By Kevin Muckenthaler

10. Greedo shooting at Han 9 times, and missing all 9.

9. Jabba scene made to look even more fake by having a bean bag chair play Jabba.

8. More footage of Sneema the sand flea that got in Luke's eye.

7. Obi-Wan wears a neon pink robe.

6. Cantina Band is CGI, joined by stupid back-up singers, a furry guy, and 30 other worthless characters.

5. When Death Star explodes, Luke laughs manically and shouts "BOOM!" over and over.

4. A scene with Darth Vader doing the Macarena with a room full of Stormtroopers.

3. Porkins death scene in extreme slow motion.

2. Han Solo cries like a baby when Leia is mean to him.

And the number one addition to Star Wars: Ultimate Edition:

1. R2-D2 sounds like Mr. T.

Top Ten Additions to The Empire Strikes Back: The Ultimate Edition
By Kevin Muckenthaler

10. Scenes involving Yoda's addiction to chili cheese fries and Sprite.

9. Lando downing booze with Boba Fett and Lobot and then spouting a rousing rendition of "Two Tickets to Paradise".

8. Luke making snow angels on Hoth.

7. Space Slug/Mara love scene.

6. Darth Vader chokes himself.

5. Luke's hand gets chopped off in super slow-mo.

4. Leia wears a sombrero throughout the movie.

3. Han doesn't survive the carbonite process, but then the frozen Han slowly holds up a sign saying "Gotcha!"

2. Yoda playing baseball with his Gimer Stick.

And the number one addition to ESB:UE...

1. Stupid, pointless screams added in.

Top Ten Additions to Return of the Jedi: The Ultimate Edition
By Kevin Muckenthaler

10. Obi-Wan says that Sy Snootles is Luke's sister.

9. Palpatine jumping around on a pogo stick shrieking "Me want candy!"

8. 25 minute scene involving Dooley the baby Ewok.

7. Jabba's tap-dancing number.

6. Vader is too weak to pick up the Emperor; Stormtroopers come in to help.

5. During the Battle of Endor, cameos by the Star Fox team.

4. When Han comes out of the carbonite, he says, "I could use a good apple pie right now!"

3. Luke lifts up C3PO with the Force, then drops him off the side of the Ewok Village.

2. Sabacc at the most inappropriate times.

And the number one addition to Return of the Jedi: Ultimate Edition...

1. Ackbar played by Charles Grodin.

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