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Top 46 Reasons LOTR/SW is better than SW/LOTR
by the readers of TheForce.Net


Thanks to the "controversial" subject matter and a welcome plug from Theonering.net (you guys rule!), we received over 3500 submissions. I had to read all of them, so you can imagine just how much i love working for TFN right now. (And i still updated on time... eat that, naysayers! *snickers*)

So what we're doing here is i've made *three* lists. Top 46 for SW, Top 46 for LOTR, and another 46 for ones that didn't neccesarily pick or got too confused to make sense. Here we go....


Top Forty-Six Reasons Star Wars beats Lord of the Rings

46. Dangling participles are easier to understand than mismanaging pronounds and plurals.
by Chris Hanel, Purchaser of New Keyboards

45. In Star Wars, the short guy kicks ass. In LotR, the short guy needs a box.
by LukeHamill

44. It has a Christmas special!
by JerseyPhoenix

43. Unlike Gandalf, Obi-Wan does more than make rooms brighter
by Skychrono

42. The force is the ultimate power, while the ring does little more than compliment a fancy outfit.
by Skychrono

41. Star Wars: Chicks with blasters. LOTR: Chicks with swords. Who'd win at ten paces?
by Wilhelmina

40. It takes half as much time to type "SW" than it takes to type "LOTR".
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards

39. George has better fashion sense than PJ. Mmm, flannel.
by Wilhelmina

38. In Star Wars, Christopher Lee was beaten by an ass-kicking Jedi named Yoda. In LOTR, he was beaten by a slow-moving tree named.... oh, who cares what his name was. HE WAS A TREE, for crying out loud!!
by Blow-Mi-One Cannoli

37. we tells jar-jar to go away, and away he goes! free! free! star wars is free!
by rufus333

36. Cut off Sauron's hand, he goes home and spends thousands of years convalescing. Cut off Ani's hand, he becomes a powerful Sith. Cut off his hand AGAIN, he single-handedly (ha!) defeats the Emperor.
by Wilhelmina

35. because lucas's filmic vision is an original construct, while jackson's is mere adaptation
by jung lah

34. Three words: Slave Girl Outfit
by JediPat

33. Crap Gollum's grammar is
by Tara Wan Kenobi

32. Star Wars' cuddly character - Chewbacca. Lord of the rings cuddly character - Sean Astin. I think chewie wins....
by Tara Wan Kenobi

31. Luke's second cousin, twice removed (on his mothers side) didn't tag along and almost get every one killed
by Tara Wan Kenobi

30. In LOTR, short guys with pointy ears run away like pansies at the sight of danger. In Star Wars, short guys with pointy ears KICK ASS!!!!
by Foxbatkllr

29. Ewan McGregor has such a pretty singing voice
by Bob Fett

28. There were no AT-AT's at Helm's Deep, were there? Hmmm?
by Yoda Soup

27. SW is better cause of the short guys... Frodo- disappears with Ring. R2- dispenses beer. Which do you choose?
by Grand Admiral Jaxx

26. www.fanfilms.net listings: Star Wars fan films-76. Lord of the Rings fan films-1.
by Zarm R'keeg

25. Saruman sends out Orcs to do his bidding. Vader kills enemies personally.
by Cirrocco

24. With the exception of Peter Jackson, SW fans on average outweigh LOTR fans by a good 35-40 lbs. Plus the well-financed ones have access to British sub-machine guns. In other words, because we SAY so.
by Lighthammer72

23. LOTR has a couple o' lousy towers. We have the DEATH STAR!!!
by Jar-Jar and the Cliff

22. Mara Jade lap dance.
by Grand Admiral Gary

21. natalie portman's abs
by iLOVEabs!

20. A sword can't melt through a blast door, much less the gate to the Mines of Moria.
by Sithwitch13

19. You've got Orks, we've got Porkins.
by RU ARTOO?

18. Thrill as an old man tries to figure out how to open an old door!
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards

17. Tatoos consist of more then a white hand slapped in the face.
by Emperoress Palpatine

16. Officer: Lord Vader we have reached an unknown planet in the uncharted regions of space. It is supposedly refered to as Middle Earth. Vader:Sounds boring. Blow it up.
by Darth fipland

15. The Star Wars cast list is more diverse. LOTR is whiter than Tren Lott's Christmas party.
by Deus1138

14. Hrmph. I did not see a SINGLE half-naked elf dancer ANYWHERE in Rivendell...
by attackrat

13. Star Wars wins this one on the merchandising front: I have a Luke with removable hand, but no Legolas with removable clothes.
by Stavromula Beta

12.Obi-wan would have sensed the destruction of Moria. " . . . as if a thousand dwarves cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."
by Gigi

11. LOTR: Bill. SW: The Millenium Falcon. No contest.
by Shadowen

10. At least Star Wars has an actual villain, not some stupid burning eye sitting on top of a tower.
by Jacenmaz

9. "Is that an evil, posessed ring in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me," simply does NOT work
by Yoda Soup

8. Luke would want to try and find the good in Saruman.
by Daniel Glasglow

7. How is Frodo going to get Luke? Jump up punch him in the knee?
by Randall Flagg

6. When Luke left home, he got over it.
by Daniel Glasglow

5. The relevent backstory can be told in a 30-second scroll, not a 900-page novel.
by wisefool

4. Warwick Davis doesn't NEED post-production "shortening"!
by Chris Knight

3. Instead of the movies deviating from the books, the books deviate from the movies.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards

2. Obi-wan's hair still looks soft and managable even after fighting on every planet this side of the Kessel Run. Aragorn's? Ha!
by Janson's Funny Twin

1. Taun We is hot. Yeah, you heard me.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards


Top Forty-Six Reasons Lord of the Rings beats Star Wars

46. LOTR: No love triangles involving a brother and sister.
by Jeremy Ron

45. You didn't hear rumours of N'Sync doing a cameo in LOTR now did you?
by Ihateboybandsbytheway

44. "i truely, deeply love you" - at least lotr doesn't have such corny dialogue
by beck martin

43. LOTR did the entire, "Crazy wizard gives young and unskilled boy a powerful item and dies to save young boy" thing first.
by Jared 'Ewokspy' Streger

42. LotR - Whinny Character dies in the first movie.
by Emperoress Palpatine

41. Where else do you find a second breakfast?
by Darth fipland

40. LOTR better then SW: Our troops are home grown.
by Chad Evans

39. You can get more beer in Middle-Earth
by Travis

38. cave troll versus rancor......cave troll
by J. Wright

37. Uruk-hai, unlike stormtroopers, can fight.
by Darth Morgoth

36. In LOTR the comic relief (ie Gimli, Pipin & Merry) actually speak proper English
by the pen is mightier than the lightsaber

35. Sorry Yoda, but nobody screams old-man sexy like Ian McKellan
by attackrat

34. LOTR is on DVD.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards

33. Liv Tyler, Miranda Otto, and Cate Blanchett. Let's hear it for options!
by Stormcrow

32. LOTR made three movies at once. George, are you taking notes on this?
by Sarumannequin

31. LotR is waaaaayyy better. I'd like to see Obi do the pointy hat trick. Hah!
by Wenelda

30. LOTR is better because Elrond is not actually Sauron in disquise.
by Methehand

29. Arwen can kick butt in a skirt and sixteen crinolines. Unlike Amidala, who must strip to leggings and a midriff-baring shirt.
by Dru

28. $325,736,000
by SirNi

27. LOTR is better than SW because...Gollum doesn't sound like Grover
by Warren

26. Gandalf's friend and ally who owed him a life debt was Gwahir Windlord, the noble king of the giant eagles. Qui Gon had Jar Jar.
by Thorongil

25. LOTR: Because even the dumbest creatures in LOTR would be smart enough to know that making Jar Jar a senator is a bad idea
by Chuck Song

24. The White Council in LORT included Galadriel, who was youthful and divinely beautiful despite being over 4000 years old. Yoda of the Jedi Council looked like hell after a mere 900.
by Farbourne

23. Chicks will actually go with you to a LOTR movie.
by SirNi

22. LOTR is better than SW because the furry movie characters never launch into song
by Clairice

21. Merry and Pippin are slightly less annoying than C3PO and R2D2. Slightly.
by Ryan

20. Frodo doesn't have some sort of twisted "I don't like sand" thing for Sam
by Alex

19. Pete can't tease us with the promise of a new episode for 25 years and then make up something as lame as midichlorians.
by detante

18. It's more satisfying to see an Orc get beheaded then a Stormtrooper fall down.
by Tim D.

17. In Star Wars, the tunnel walls on Geonosis came to life and mounted an ultimately futile attack. In TTT, the forrest came to life and kicked the crap out of Saruman.
by SirNi

16. Elves don't seem to know about bras. Nuff said.
by RichardB

15. Although an Oliphaunt and an AT-AT are about even when it comes to destructive power, an Oliphaunt from LOTR isn't stupid enough to keep walking after its legs are tied up!
by Draug

14. Fashionable mullet hobbit hair.
by

13. Star wars--lightsabers that burn a wound closed after striking an opponent so there is no bleeding, LOTR--has REAL swords that cause buckets 'o blood to shoot across the room!
by Draug

12. Han Solo is a filthy rogue who turns out to be, er, a slightly cleaner rogue, while in LOTR Strider, the filthy rogue, becomes Aragorn, king of mankind.
by Draug

11. Frodo is from Cedar Rapids, Iowa. WOO HOO CR!
by Hawkeye

10. If Greedo had been replaced by Legolas when he had to beat Han to the draw in the cantina, Legolas would be the one flipping the bartender a credit.
by Draug

9. No one complains that the Tolkien books aren't canon.
by HandmaidenEirtae

8. Toe to toe, Merry & Pippin could kick some serious Jawa ass.
by Grand Moff Brykoe

7. The ale at the Prancing Pony beats the blue swill at the cantina every time!
by Menechil

6. The one ring is more powerful than the force, didn't you see Sauron in the prologue?
by Andy Niles

5. Peter Jackson simply cannot make shit up as he goes along.
by Matt F. Smith

4. Interspecies relationships work in Middle Earth. I don't think Leia and Chewbacca ever had chance.
by Lindsay Wilson

3. LotR is better because I know that Peter Jackson isn't going to rerelease The Two Towers just so some uruk-hai can shoot first in the Battle of Helm's Deep.
by I will not say "the lack of jar jar"

2. When gollum talks to himself it is psychologically interesting, when Jar Jar does it it is because the audience left.
by Kelsith

1. Aragorn is ahead of Anakin on the "Booty Call tally" by one.
by Tom Harrison


And the Top Forty-Six submissions that couldn't decide, didn't make sense, didn't like either, brought the websites into it, or got their movies confused:

46. Our villainous Christopher Lee is better than your villainous Christopher Lee!
by Jenakin

45. The Star Wars fansite has this really cool humor editor...
by Wilhelmina

44. And handsome. He's cool and handsome.
by Wilhelmina

43. Did I mention witty? Cool, handsome, and witty.
by Wilhelmina

42. Did I mention punctual? Cool, handsome, witty, and punctual.
by Wilhelmina

41. And modest. I mean, I bet he'd never allow something that bespoke his manifold good qualities to appear on the net, because he's just like that. Cool, handsome, witty, punctual, and modest.
by Wilhelmina
Only made it up here cause she tried really hard. :) -Ed.

40. Wilhelm!!!! oh wait...damn...umm...give me a minute...CHRISTOPHER LEE!!!! oh wait...umm.....uhh...crap....
by I have a name?

39. How can anything in LOTR compare to the scene in Star Wars when Bill Pullman bests Dark Helmet and gets the Princess?
by Bob Fett

38. Unlike the Ents, the wooden acting in Star Wars required no special effects
by Paz Gul Bonza

37. Because the people who run the Star Wars fan based web sites can put up with the all the crap the readers give them about updates.:)
by Chase Peterson
Meanwhile, Chase didn't have to try hard at all. Thanks for the support. -Ed.

36. The force.net vs. The onering.net... They don't even HAVE a top ten list contest!
by Zarm R'keeg

35. We leave the guys with the pointy ears to Star Trek.
by Sicksikmans

34. More plentiful source matertial TO MAKE FUN OF!!!
by Barth Gator

33. As one of the administrators of Ringbearer.org, I feel I must issue a formal protest. ;-)
by Keith
Bring it on, Keith. You get Sting, i get a lightsaber. *evil cackle* -Ed.

32. Lord of the Flies? No! Curse you TFN! Course You!
by Ganon

31. Unlike Sauron, Emporer Palpatine doesn't need anyone to do his dirty work for him... oh, wait.
by Turin Turumbar

30. Well, i would say better acting, script and plot, but then I remembered I was supossed to be DEFENDING Star Wars. My bad.
by sw is my 1st luv, but i luv lotr 2!

29. You can't blow up the server on the LOTR website with "Pull my finger" gags. He he.
by Darth Sabe (the handmaiden in black)

28. hey i 'll get you a new keyboard if you post one of mine!!!!
by haun solo
Microsoft Wireless, please. Or can i just send you the receipt and you can paypal me? -Ed.

27. we don't go to conventions in robes looking like freaks.....wait.
by tahiri

26. On the issue of "fair play" : HARRY POTTER FOREVER!!!!!
by Harry_Skywalker

25. You're all wrong! The best movie trilogy of all time is Back to the Future! Now make like a tree, and get outta here!
by Rin

24. No one in Star Wars says 'taters'
by AlbertoVO5

23. When Frodo puts on The Ring, all I can hear is Mel Brooks saying "Use the Schwartz"
by Bob Fett

22. "we gets an intermission in LOTR we does" -Gollum
by HippieMetalRapper

21. LOTR is better----i mean, Gollum's just so sexy!
by Lauri
Put in this list because I pray Lauri is joking. I mean, Taun We is sooooo sexier. :P -Ed.

20. Spock Sucks
by carboitehydrates

19. Star Wars is 100% Grade A Home Grown in the USA!
by carboitehydrates
You wanna tell him about Fox Studios Australia, or should I?

18. Cause Forest Gump is a retard.
by carboitehydrates

17. two words; Hydro Spaner
by carboitehydrates

16. The guy who wrote Lord of the Rings - DEAD.
by carboitehydrates

15. Cause Quiditch rocks!
by carboitehydrates

14. Tron beats them all.
by carboitehydrates

13. Those crazy British.
by carboitehydrates

12. It doesn't take a genius to realize that LOTR could NEVER happen in our lifetime.
by Daniel Glasglow

11. As opposed to Star Wars, which is highly feasible.
by Daniel Glasglow

10. I am fluent in 6 million ways SW is better!
by D3PO

9. John Williams would waste Howard Shore in a fight. I mean c'mon the guy looks like a 60 year-old Harry Potter (scar not included)
by Handful of Jedi Soup

8. First Star Wars vs. Star Trek. Now Star Wars vs. LOTR. I've had it! A plague on all your houses; I'm off to watch Farscape.
by BetanSurvey

7. If Padme mudwrestles mandy moore in episode 3 ill never watch lotr again.
by Jerry Only

6. Peter Jackson: The Next Flannel Boy...Who is the more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?
by jedielf

5. Or the fool who follows the fool who follows him?
by jedielf

4. Or the fool who follows the fool who follows the fool who follows him?
by jedielf

3. Or...you know?
by jedielf

Only ONE person sent this. How sad.
2. I Love Them BOTH!!!!!!
by Mara Jinn

And the ONE Factual Argument about the difference between LOTR and SW:
1. About 1000 pages.
by Porto John

Thanks everyone for an AWESOME round of submissions! Tune in next tuesday night for the next round of winners!!! -Chris

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