[To Luke]: "Three of them? You're cut off, son. Have the Wookie take you home."
by Super Oogie
LUKE: Wow! Has anyone told you that you're the spitting image of Admiral Tharn? BARTENDER: Don't try to change the subject Kid!
by Bitmap
"Sorry kid, better pack it up -- 'Futurama' already beat us to this storyline."
by Brian Haughwout
Bartender: Your spirits...they'll have to wait outside.
by Muppett
"Wizard! Barkeep, I'll have what THEY'RE having!" "Can I see some ID?" "Uh...how about a hot chocolate for me instead..."
by Brian Haughwout
In this test scene from Episode 7, Ben, Yoda, and Anakin make life hell for Luke, as they follow him across the galaxy causing trouble that he gets blamed for (since no one else can see them)...
by Brian Haughwout
"Luuuuke...must...get...yslamir-ack!" Luke:"Hey bartender! What's in this thing anyway? I'm seeing ghosts"
by Dex1138
You know the force can be a very powerful thing! You start thinking about something else and *poof* your spirit friends can become topsy turvy.
by Muppett
Luke: "I'll have one of those." Obi-wan: "No wait Luke . . hic . . . dunt unnereztimate ttthhe powehrr . . hic . . . oh bugger."
by md2b
The Masters find soon find out that midi-chloridians only create alcohol tolerance in mortals.
by md2b
Red Mynock's Burger and Spirits Emporium
by You've never heard of Red Robin?Sheesh..
Seems the ghosts can't hold their spirirts.
by Scott C.
There is no sorrier sight than Jedi drunk on their ass.
by Scott C.
Whatever they had, I want a double
by Scott C.
Thrane's most sinister plan yet, introducing the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster to the universe
by Scott C.
by
by
So...what happened to the...aaaaah...regular bartender?
by Maulicious
Hey, DAAAD, I wanted to go to Toshi station to get some power converters....
by Maulicious
"I'll have what they're having!"
by Natey O'Grady
Luke enters his ice sculptures that he made with his lightsaber
by Natey O'Grady
A Jedi may be strong in the ways of the force, but he can't hold his liqour!
by Tycho
Bartender: Is your friend going to be okay? Luke: Yeah, he's just mad 'cause he got killed off in the first movie.
by Tycho
After a long day of telling people where to go to learn and leaving cryptic messages the Jedi spirits go for some "Jedi spirits"
by Darth Ra
Of course they can't hold their drink! They're ghosts!
by Wedge007s
Your ice sculptures. They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here.
by Eric J
Obi Wan: TURN TO THE DARK SIDE ON ME EH? Anakin: But... but.... your suppossed to be... on the light side *gasp* Obi Wan: LIGHTSIDE MY BLUE TRANSLUCENT ASS!
by Big G2
by
Luke: Thrawn!!! I thought I told you not to give the old guys Corellian Ale past thier bed time! Thrawn: Yes, but they picked me up and threw me into the wall when I said no, WITHOUT THERE HANDS!!
by Kell Kelley
If the Jedi ghost couldn't standup to Grand Admiral Thrawn you think Luke and Chewie could??????
by mealso
Luke always wondered what happened to Jedi after they died. Upon his return to the Mos Eisley Cantina, he discovered that life after death wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
by Rachael LoBosco
You can't handle what they had!!!!!!!!!!!!
by mealso
Luke Skywalker learns the hard way that CPR cannot be performed via the Force.
by BobaFett_3
"Soon...will I rest. Yes. Forever hung over. Ahhhh. Earned it I have."
by Nick Zube, "Colonel Mustachio"
Anakin: HWUUUUUGH!! Yoda: Ahaaahawwhaw Anakin: HWUUUUUGH!! Yoda: Ahahaahawwhaw Luke: What's that crashing? The comemorative statues didn't dowell at Obi-Wan's funeral... so many people bore a grudge. "Uour Blue Jello Jedi special, sir." "Your Blue Jello Jedi special, sir." Luke went out that night to drink after finding out that the Death Star he blew up wasn't really a Death Star, just a simulation to get him hyped for the upcoming battle. Luke to Bartender: May I inquire why you have a guinea pig on your shoulder? Sorry, we don't serve ghosts here. "Yes, um, Grand Admiral Thrawn, sir, my Masters seem to be a little tipsy here; could I get some caf for them? Black, strongest you've got. All the blood rushing to Yoda's head can't be helping any." Jedi Ghosts just -cannot- hold their liquor The sad, untold story of why Jedi Masters really stick around after death: alcohol " how many times do i have to tell you not to let them drink." -Fart- "Oh great you gave Yoda gas" The First Stage: Denial No....a BUD lite Luke: Well, maybe I won't have the Zima. Give me some of that Austrailian stuff. Yeah! That's right! If my father was here he would be rolling in his grave. Luke orders a "Blue Jedi", unknown to him that Thrawn is known for making a stiff one. Thrawn: "In the old days, I was a grand Admiral. Everyone respected me. Then these crazy Jedi ghosts showed up and no one wants to clear them away." Luke: "Shut up and pour me a cold one!" Thrawn: I think free drinks for dead Jedi Spirits went over well. Luke "Uh, make that 'straight up' instead of 'on the rocks' please!" Luke "Hey! I meant 'spirits' as in alcohol, you moron!" Bartender "Ok! Anybody else 'forget' their wallets? Hmm?" "Hey Chewie. Why the long face?" Luke looked at the bartender, "Oh, wine AND spirits. I getcha." Luke: "How was I supposed to know thay couldn't handle their liquor? I figured, Hey, lets get out of this overgrown tree house and party like the jedi of old!" "Them? i don't know, they mumbled something about a 'disturbance in the force' then the passed out. Hey that's a cute little pet you got there!" "Thank you, it's my pet ysalamiri, Jojo" Luke: hummm...Hold that drink...i'll stick to the Ice-Tea. Chewie: Argghhh!....MMRRRGH!....Luke: What did you say Chewie, ARGH! (Luke Drops dead and turns blue).Chewbacca tried to warn about the drink Guess there's no Jedi technique for increasing one's tolerance. Yoda: "Wasted, I am! Mmmmm? Hee-hee-hee!" I don't get it...they die once and it's like, two beers and WHAM! Um.... I'll have what they're having. Grand Admiral Thrawn, magically resurrected from the dead, takes what looks like an comfy job at Wuher's bar, only to have to deal with a bunch of drunk Jedi ghosts on his first shift. The effects of ysalamiri pee mixed with Coors Light take their toll on the hapless Jedi Knights. The dead Jedi all roll around in laughter at Luke's stupidity after having ordered the "Ysalmarii Surprise" *After getting a call on the comlink Luke and Chewie come to drive home the heavily intoxicated Dead Jedis after playing the SW drinking game* When Jedi spirits have a good time at their local Karaoke bar. Wow, Jedi Spirits are such lightweights! "the worst thing is, I can tell Yoda has to pee." Geeezzz! I hope you don't become a panty waist like these guys when you become a Jedi spirit Luke! Bartender: You may want to order something else, the slushee machine is on the fritz. Luke, I'm gonna have to cut your friends off now! Luke, you drinking and forcing again? Jedi Spirits know when to say when! Luke: I don't know what you put in that drink but I'll definately have some! Bartender:"Young man, No furry animal allowed." Jedi spirits: Hey Thrawn get that thing on your shoulder out of here, it's making us have convulsions. Because their incorperality effectively gives them a zero mass, dead Jedi masters tend to have less of a tolerance than your average 3 year old... Bartender : "No Shooters! No Shooters!" After seven weeks of binge drinking, Obi-Wan is forced to admit to Luke that he and his friends have a drinking problem. Luke didn't know what he was in for when he chose to spend his hollydays in a hounted, English castle... "Mr. Thrawn sir, it would appear that Jedi Spirits don't have as high a tolerance to alcohol as previously thought." "Holy Cow Chewie! When you said this place had good spirits, I thought you meant the booze!" Thrawn: Yeah, I advertised that I would serve spirits here, but I didn't mean it like THAT! Hey, with them being dead, I'm surprised they held their glasses, never mind their booze. Powerful spirits you got in here sir! Darn it Luke! I told you once and i'am telling you again, you don't give beer to dead, depressed JEDIS!!!! In Episode VII: Give Me More Money Idiots, Luke takes his Jedi friends ona night of the town. In the end, the jedis end up drunk and stupid. Luke: What did they have!?! Bartender: They had the special. Luke: Thats what I ordered!!! Luke "Jeez, what happened to them." Thrawn "I don't know. All I did was open the bottle, and offered to let them smell the wine." OB1 "Don't you know ghosts can't hold their liquor?" Luke: Oh my god, Thrawn just killed Yoda! Wait, he was already dead!" I'll have what he's having. In their old 'age', the spirits of Obi, yoda, and Anakin just couldn't hold their liquor like the rest of them. Friggin' Jedi, just cuz' they are one with the force they think they can drink all they want. Luke: All right dad, give me the keys to the speeder... Tourist:"is this hotel?" Officer:"Yes this is." Tourist:"Why those people are blue and they seems like they are drunk?" Officer:"They are dead ones" Some ghosts can't handle their spirits. Some ghosts can't handle their spirits. Luke: I can't believe this, every time I walk into a bar with these guys they embarass the hell out out me!!! Thrawn: My Ysalimaari worked! Luke: No it didn't, I started talking about power converters and they all keeled over laughing. HEY! Weren't they wearing trenchcoats?! "Luke, I am. . . an alcoholic." Bartender: You think you boys might be hittin' that Corellian whiskey a little hard? "You bastards! You killed BlueAnakin!" "Music and blasters and old Jedi Masters....." Of course they're drunk! They're SPIRITS! It turns out that Thrawn hadn't been in the Unknown Regions, but just a bartender at the Cantina after the Battle of Endor Ben, Yoda, and Anakin all fall over dead after hearing Luke whining about not being in the prequel for the millionth timeat the bar. After there dramatic loss of wieght Yoda Obi-wan and Anakin just couldn't hold their liquor any more Patron: was it the drinks?? Bartender: NO. Ben, Yoda, and Anakin all fell over dead after hearing Luke whining about not being in the prequel for the millionth time at the bar. hey, wait a minute, can the jedi ghosts really be there with the ysalimiri right next to them? Patron: was it the drinks?? Bartender: NO. Ben, Yoda, and Anakin all fell over dead after hearing Luke whining about not being in the prequel for the millionth time at the bar. " Yeah I know..every time these old jedi spirits go out together they just don't know when to stop "Celebrating". After the Incident at the bar even luke had to admit, those Jedi "Spirits" were really strong. "I know, know...and I'm sorry. They get alittle roudy sober..I should have guessed they'd be fallin all over the place smashed" Luke may not be the best Jedi, but he can hold his licquor "You say all of your witnesses are Jedi ghosts? [aside] Mac, you wanna give the folks at Bellevue a call?" "Already on it, sir." "I'm sorry, you're in the wrong book. The Death Star was blown up six years ago, ObiWan, Darth, and Yoda are dead, and I've taken over Tatooine." Luke: "Here. That's the only ice I could find." Just don't tell anyone where you got it. Now, fix me a drink bartender, and put some ice in it." Bartender, bring us a round of those blue drinks every ten minutes until someone passes out. Then make it every five. In addition to being one of the Emperor's premier henchmen, Grand Admiral Thrawn also mixed one mean margarita. Kenobi: "You don't need to see his identification." Thrawn: "Yeah, whatever. Either you show me ID saying you're 21 or you gotta settle for cream soda." Unfortunately for the Jedi, the secret ingredient in Thrawn's Mandalorian Mudslide was ysalamiri droppings. Star Wars meet vampire in noah Luke discovers that Obi Wan, Yoda, and Anakin don't know when to say when Anikan: FINALLY...The Jedi are extinct! Anikan: Wowa we had a little earthquake there. Obi Wan From Floor: Shut your mouth Anikan!Shut Your big fat mouth!You just wanted to pull a force wind thang! The trauma of having accidentally poisoned three Jedi Masters eventually drove Thrawn to a life of crime. Thrawn: We don't serve their kind in here. Luke: Whah? Thrawn: Your dad, he'll have to wait outside. The other guys too. Obi-Wan and Yoda show Anakin the pleasures of the light side. Despite being noncorporeal they managed to get roaring drunk. They planned to visit a strip club next but Yoda accidently flushed himself. I'll tell you when Ive had enough......*burp*...... And so I goes..."You cannot win Darth......" Luke: And the next round of drinks for my friends will be on my dad there. Just bill it to Darth Vader's account. Bartender: "You'd turn blue too if you have a hairy Wookie breathing down your neck." Luke: " What was that?" Bartender: " Oh nevermind." Luke: " Hey Eddie, go see what Grandpa is doing down in his lab." all right... one of you knocked over my jello molds, and don't think I wont find out who! Crap! Obi Wan's light saber is melting! "Okay,Thrawn,now you know what happeneds to ghost jedi when you have a ysalarmi around." Luke: Now what exactly is in this drink again? Luke: Now what exactly is in this drink again? Wow! I'll have what THEY'RE having! Your food is bad enough to kill the ghosts of Jedi! Absolut Star Wars! Witness the effects of everclear on Jedi Masters. For some reason, the Jedi Master Jell-O mold never really caught on. Luke: I'll have what they're having. Hiccup! Now, I tell yer, I haven't had to much to drink damnit! 'I'm telling you Luke! The Liquor made me do it! I didn't mean to barf on your shoes!' I wanna be an alcoholic too, just like my father Alchoholics Anonymous day trip??????? 99 dead jedis on the wall... 99 dead jedis. Take 1 down, pass him around, 98 dead jedis on the wall Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name . . . Thrawn: So, you dont sing, you don't dance, well what do you do then?? Luke: (unzips) Everyone in the canteen: BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!! Dead Jedi: (rolls around the floor laughing) BWAHAHAHA!!!! "You're holographic images aren't welcome in here, we don't serve their kind! Luke.... I've fallen, and I can't get up. "OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENOBI, AND VADER AND YODA! YOU @#$%^&*$ "God, it always happens... they have a couple drinks, somebody gets offended, and they ALL end up as disembodied Jedi spirits!" Excuse me sir! I say, excuse me! Man, being a ghost ain't all it's cracked up to be. Who ya gonna call? We'd like a room... myself, the wookiee, 3 ghosts, no questions asked. Your "Famous Jedi" ice sculpture didn't go over so well with Mr. Vader, did it? I'll have what they're having. *hic* Gimme another, I can still see 'em... Man! Chill out! You just shot the ghosts of the last Jedis! Now if youse don't pay up, Mr. Chewy here will do more than rough up your little ghost friends, capeesh? Sorry about the mess. A little soda water and that ectoplasm will come RIGHT out. LUKE: GIVE ME A DARK BREW, AND BY THE WAY WHAT DID THEY HAVE. BARTENDER: THEY HAD A ZIMA. HEY WHAT HAPPEN IN HERE, BAR TENDER: WELL YOU KNOW ICE MAN FROM SPIEDERMAN AND FRIENDS WELL HE WAS HERE AND WELL HE WAS DRUNK AND THINGS GOT A LITTLE OUT OF HAND. END OF STORY..... Bartender: "Sigh... I hate drunken Jedi ghosts. They make such a mess." Ghost Obi-Wan: "Just because we're dead doesn't mean we can't PAAR-TEE! Right Yoda?" Ghost Yoda: "Baaaarf..." Luke discovers what a pain it is to be the only one to see his dead friends. Yoda: "Look, Luke, I'm standing on my head!" Luke: (whispering) "Stop it, guys!" Bartender: "You're a Jedi? Then use the Force and kick those damn ghosts out of here before they scare all the customers!" Luke: "Yes, we'd like a room for tw... Oh, SHIT! My father is here!" Luke: "Oh, gross. Ghost vomit. You guys should stay clear of alcohol even if you're dead." Be a Jedi: don't let fellow Jedi drink and die. "Dam it!!....I thought we said no dead beats in here!!" Bartender: Hey, Luke, what's *wrong* with those guys? Luke: Oh, don't mind them, they're just a little blue. Luke to Chewie: Well, at least it isn't karaoke night. No bartender, they are not dead. They're doing an impression of David Caruso's career. Bartender: "I'm tellin' ya'...if dese guys make one more joke about 'imbibing spirits' I quit!" Luke to bartender: Im from AA, I heard you have 3 of our members here that fell off the wagon... The cantina started looking mighty weird after Luke's 15th shot of Corellian tequila..... Hey bartender, there's a Jedi in my beer! What's he having? I'll take a double! Luke knew he'd had too much Alderaanian schapps when he started seeing double and Yoda began to spin.... OH MY GAWD!!! You've killed the dead guys!!! What's in your drinks?!? Luke: Geeze...you buy these ghosts ONE drink and look what happens. Luke: Geeze...you buy these ghosts ONE drink and look what happens. There are Jedi down repeat Jedi down And so it came down to the final two breakdancers. Obi-Wan was good, but no one could top the headspins of Yoda. NOW IT'S YOUR TURN-TRY THE FLAMIMG VIKING! You'll have to leave your blowup Jedi outside... Thrawn the Bartender: Boy, Jedi Masters sure can't hold their liqueor.... Hey! where are our Obi-wan and Yoda jello molds? Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Anikin were so drunk, they thought they were invisible! Anikin: Lewwwk.... *hic* I'shm yer fawter! *hic* Obi-Wan and Anakin the Translucent are seen here after a few lomin-ales, worshipping the almighty yslamirri god, Mittith'raw'nurudo. Iced Jedi Master...would you like fries to go with that sir? For here or to go? My god! He DOES have no pants on! I'll have whatever those three didn't Dammit, why did you give spirits to these spirits. All right . . . Who let the dead guys in?? Bartender: OK, you three have had just a little too much juri juice. Luke: "Whatever they were drinking... I don't want it." "These Jedis are not drunk" "These Jedis are not drunk" "Another round on the house" "Another round on the house" "Hey Ben, I could get used to this Jedi thing!!" "Uh,.... whatever they had, I'll pass on." After these guys get drunk, they glow all the pretty colors of the rainbow... Imagine how pissed these guys were after Lucas gave them the "Clear Blue Liquid" instead of water... "Now that is what I call drunken spirits..." Two priests and a midget walk into a bar... This is the last time I take you guys to a cantina, geez... three jedi sprits playing hide and seek The see thru people never really knew if their contacts had fallen out, or the others were once again playing a cruel trick. Since the Jedi spirits of Yoda, Anakin, and Obi-Wan had nothing better to do, they decided to become drunkies and joined the girl scouts. I'll have a glass of Tatooine Ale and one see-through dead guy. Oh my god!!! They killed the Jedi Knights!! You bastards! ive fallen and i cant get up So, this is where they put all the stash after making a new movie! I always thought the Force was stronger than that! Luke: Bartender, give me a stiff drink, man am I going crazy, I keep thinking the dead guys are following me and tring to give me psychological help!!?! Why the hell are all those transparebt guys on the floor? Why the hell are all those transparebt guys on the floor? Stay tuned for the Fox Special "When Drunken Jedi Spirits Attack!" Luke: Uh, no, I have no idea who those strange glowing people are. I swear. *psst* "luke?" "Yeah?" "Who the hell are those wierd transparent guys?" The force may be strong with them. But not when it comes to drinking! Grand Admiral Thrawn: "Kid, you're going to have to pay for knocking down those ice sculptures." Luke: "Bartender, I'll have what the man on the floor had." Grand Admiral Thrawn: "I don't get it, I just kept giving them more drinks thinking that ghosts can't get drunk....I was in shock that the drinks didn't pour onto the floor when they 'drank' them." Chewie: WAAAARGH! SARWARS Whoa! Those Vodkas must be STRONG! YODA: Ohhhh uhhhh........ another I will have.... Bartender: I think you had enough....... Obiwan: I think you should stop Yoda... Anakin: yeah.. yoda.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT VIROBLADE? AHHH!! The Spirits of the Great Jedis get a little bit dipsy. I told you bar keep if you give them too much yasamari juice it throws their mo jo right off Luke: sorry bartender but this is happens when these three get together I'm sorry, we're all out of the house special, as you can see. Can I get you anything else? C'mon, dad. How are we gonna get to Toshi station if you can't drive the speeder? Obi-wan: Hey, Anakin, remember that time I pushed you in the lava? Wasn't that hilarious?!!! Anakin: Yeah...and then, you remember how I killed you? oh, my god...those were the days!!!!! Ahhhh! it's the ghostly trio!!! Run for you lives!!!!!!!!! When your done freezing Solo can you freeze my sister, she steals my scenes! Unfortunately for Yoda, Obi-Wan & Anakin, they were unable to keep their corporeal Thrawn's attack ysalamiri was great at handling Jedi who refused to pay their tabs Once I was Grand Admiral, now I eat humble pie. Da da da, da da da da da da. Luke: Thrawn your plan might be more effective if you drug the drinks of the living Jedis. Thrawn: Then can I interest you in a drink? Luke: Sure! I told you.. don't fire that thing in here while you're drunk! Kid word of advise dont goto the empire its a bad carrer move one day you lead it the next your here tending to the needs of Drunken Jedis and Aliens. Yes, we have ice sculptures for every ocasion... Luke: "Oh great, not again! I told you guys not to drink so much corelian ale! C'mon Chewie, help me drag em' out." so any more apiritions wanna peice of me Yeah I guess you're right...the green guy HAS had enough Bartender: Ha ha...my 'Spirit of Obi-Wan drank yours under the table Luke: Why'd you call me here? Bartender: do you know those 3? Luke: Oh yeah... Why? Bartender: They'r drunk, so move em' or I'll have to call in some stormies!! "Hey, Zima Is Refreshingly cool!!!" The Cantina was full ot "High" Spirits... luke to bartender:I'll have what the translucent guy on the floor is having. "Seems like your spirits are too strong for mine, bartender." Don't worry, this happens all the time when they come here. (Luke to Bartender):Drunk?No, they're fine. They're meditating, they told me so. Alright, alright, who ordered the flaming Dr Pepper? And cut off the dead guy on the floor! now try "Death Drink", so strong, it MUST be allied with the Force! "never thought you could come so close to wining at arm-wrestling, master Yoda, wanna go again? Yoda?" Bartender: Hey, hey! Get a room!! Look Look It's The Invisible Woman's Boyfriends who forgot to jiggle the handle!?! Even though we're dead, we still enjoy having a drink at the Mos Eisly Cantina. But, whi is Thrawn serving drinks? While three Jedi Ghosts are waiting in line for Episode I some idiots think that they are jello molds and knock them down. Idiot: "Those didn't feel like jello, I guess it is a new formula yum Obi-wan: "And Shhhho I Shheshh to the Shand Troopershhh 'These aren't the droidssshhh you're a lookin' for' and HA HA HA" Anakin: Hit me with another Grand Admiral Bartender! (beltch) Luke (to bartender): So, exactly how much booze DID you put in that lum? Luke: You know I've REALLY gotta learn how to do that. "No blasters, no blas--" I said last call and these guys slammed up against the bar, screamed Norm!, then died. Luke tests out his new weapon, the freeze ray at the cantina. He succeeds to freeze Ben, Yoda and his father. He didn't do Han, because he had been frozen before. Bartender:We don't serve your kind! While masters of the Force, they just couldn't hold their liquor Unaware of the fact that alcohol was toxic for dead Jedi ghosts, the Blue Fuzzies came to the Mos Eisley Cantina during Happy Hour Who knew the effect those Pallies would have on the Jedi? WELL,WEll,Well, your mighty FORCE obviously doesn't teach you guys about holding your liquor! WHO'S THE MASTER, NOW?!! HAHA!! DO OR DO NOT MY BUTT, DRINK UP YODA!!!! The Jedi Masters revolt upon hearing about Luke's 'special' relationship with his sister. Luke: You're serious? They only had one drink?!! How the Hoth can they be drunk!? You and I both saw the liquor pass right through them!! -- Guess it's like Slimer on Ghost Busters or something.... -- Ghost who? Luke: What's with those guys? Wuther: Nothing, just too many drinks. Luke: Cool, I'll have what they had. Luke: What's with those guys? Wuther: Nothing, just too many drinks. Luke: Cool, I'll have what they had. As long as your credits are good, you can drink here, dead or not. Luke: I'd like a Coriellon Whiskey please, Yoda: sey, nac I uoy pleh, Obi-Wan: When Irish eyes are Smiling. " if its good enough for dead jedi, its good enough for me. You want some Chewie?" Bartender - "ok, that's it. I'm cutting your friends off!" "so yeah i was told leia was my sister. Can u believe it? they tell me this AFTER i kissed her....." "Those jedi sure know how to party, even if they are dead" Bartender: "We have Corellian Ale, Wines, Imports and Today's Special: Spirits" My bets were on the little guy, but who'd guess the sprit of the dude who was Darth Vader to get smashed after one drink? Grand Adimaral Thrawn's liqour and spirits Wow! I think I'll have what that dude on the floor was having! Tender: Then this little guy whipped out a can of spinach and a lightsaber, this goofy music starts, and...well, just look at this place! Thrawn: Say Buddy your friends seems to be a little drunk. Luke: no it's a new jedi move. What the heck have those three been drinking?! "Um... what did they have?" "Ah, they also ordered the soup." "Right. Check please." ZIMA-Too Cold! It just goes to show that even spirits can't handle the Cantina's special "Alien Ale." my lightsaber turned them into jello Power of the Force? Power to drink your dead ass under the table!!! All those days spent at Toshi station really paid off. Pay up you three. For my next misuse of force powers-- the Force Twinkie! The amazing Star Wars Phantom Menace sunken city with tank! Luke: "Jedi Masters; they can never hold their liquor!" What is this supposed to be Star Wars meets Atlantis! Luke: "But... but..." Barkeep: "No buts, I don't care how powerful these 'jedi masters' of yours were, I just know you've got a HUGE tab to pay and ghosts don't have credit tabs..." You'll have to excuse them. Since the Jedi are out of work, they've turned to drinking. Luke:" Y'know beer goes right through these guys" Bartender:" well if they can't hold there liquor they'll be Thrawn out!!!" Too many Jedi Spirits?? You should really lay off on the Juri Juice Ben. "Well in the afterlife...." Guess these Jedi Spirits couldn't handle their Spirits! New Bartender Dracula Leaves Jedi's White! (notice Luke isn't white) "I thought you said that since they're clear it'd go right through them." Sorry, folks - we don't serve spirits Think I've had too much to drink, 'cause I'm seeing things! Whoever thought ghosts could get drunk, too? "Look Chewie now all of my assets are frozen" Look what you did! Now I'll never clean up all this Jello...ya know, we're supposed to have some sort of movie convention in here! "Hi, I'm Luke Skywalker....I'll have three martinis, two mugs of Calrissian beer, three Vodkas and a shot of tequila...." After weeks of waiting on line for The Phantom Menace, Obi-Wan, Yodi, & Anakin pass out from exaustion. Bartender: "I think you guys have had enough." Anakin: "Are you insane? Did you see what I used to look like?" Luke:"Last time I bring the ghosts of my two mentors and my dad to a party." I tell ya, yer sense of balance really goes when ya die. Stupid, clumsy farmboy! Do you realize how expensive ice sculptures are on a desert planet? Hmmm? Do you? Wookie! Tear off his arms! Well, yes. We do serve spirits at this establishment. "Ok boys enough drinks for you and if you start gettin rowdy Im gonna havta kick ya outta here." HEY MR. BOWLER DUDE!! I got a strike !! Can I keep these cool squeeky shoes? Luke discovered a little too late, that Jedi spirits and alcoholic spirits don't mix. Luke: Alright Ben, hand over the keys to the landspeeder... Yoda: Upside down you are, funny it is...oohh, I see much vomiting in the future. Here we see what Grand Admiral Thrawn was realy doing all of those years... How could you confuse juri juice with ysalmiri spit? You'll be hearing from my dead friends' lawyers. Having difficulty paying the bills with an Emperial's salary, Thrawn was forced to bartend at the Jivin' Jedi Nightclub on weekends... I want what they had !! Could someone give me a push? I seem to be stiff as a board. "strike me down and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." -yea right. drunk jedis Maul2D2 help! i've fallen and i can't get up! Luke; Wow! I'll have what they're having! Thrawn: Sorry kid, not til you're 21 First a whiny farm brat tugging on my sleeve, and now these damn luminous beings who can't hold their liquor...I knew I should have joined the Imperial Navy. "Whats the matter? Ysalamiri got your tounge? HA HA HA! "HI we're from fake Jedi INK. would you care to purchase a few of our deluxe glowing models?" "As you can see the Ysalamiri easily disposes of annoying Jedi and can be yours for 5 easy payments of $99.90 but wait theres more..." sung to the tune of how much is that doggie in the window "How much is that Jedi in the Cantina? The one that has the poi-nty ears? and is dead." Thrawn:"Them? Oh! ignore THEM. now can I interest you in a DRINK?" give e two of what they had, but make mine a double give me two of what they had, but make mine a double Ben Kenobi accidently activates his lightsaber in his pants Chewie:"UUHhUHHUHHUH" Luke: "I know I gotta stop experimenting with the force!" Thrawn: "Fools I told you th--..." Luke: "Sorry I did it again!" Chewie: "UHHUHUHUHU" Geesh!! you can lead a Jedi to the bar but you can't teach them to drink! Damned, dispsable body Obi Whan is falling down again Luke: Dude, never Give dead Jedi's too much Bothowai Knockout. Zahn finds out tragically that he has medusa blood in him Ya he was my father... Ya I killed him... You got a problem with that? Barkeeper : We dont serve your kind here... Luke : what ? Barkeeper : your ghosts , theyll have to wait outside Luke : oh allright , we dont want any trouble Ghosts : Ah Rats "All must bow before the farmboy!" Today's News: Rioting broke out today as several Star Wars fans learned that the "Action Figure Emporium" captions update had yet again been delayed. Three Jedi Masters were mortally wounded... damnit moisture boy!, you knocked over the jello molds for the jedi day celebration hm... thrawn... i told ya 10 thousand times not to play with dead people. T: Why can't I be dead like them luke? T: Why can't I be dead like them luke? Boba fett OMIGAWD!!! They killed Obi!!!!! Bar-tender-"Hey, we don't serve there kind here!" Luke-"don't worry they're with me. "I don't think I'll have the Zima..." I think they like it. "Well, I guess even ghosts can get drunk." Luke says, "Wow! Those must have been some strong peanuts!" Damnit guys I told you to lay off'a the hair grease Ray Harihausen never had this trouble! KEEP THE SET STILL!!! It was apparent to everyone in the room that the three Jedi's were dead drunk. After discovering that Vader was realy his father, Luke was further traumatized by learning that Anakin was also a severe alcoholic. Juri Juice: So sweet and addictive, no jedi can resist! Spew the Force, Luke ZIMA. Ghost Obi Wan: You quit?! II haaven't eveeen started.HUCK. Give me annotherr. Luke: God! I can take you anywhere with you embaressing me, and your my masters. "YO Thrawn. Gimme whatever those Jedi had!" "HEH HEH okay, okay so that short guy down there with the ears walks into my bar with his friends, took a look at my ysalamiri and says: "What are you trying to do KILL us?" "Whoops! I farted!" Yoda and friends try to blend in with the crowd...but to no avail "Where did you dig up those old fossils?..." "Limited edition, Schimited edition who needs them?" "Hey! Your Jedi! They'll have to wait outside, we don't serve their kind here! Oops! Wrong movie! Oops! Wrong movie! Luke: "That's what you get Ben for leaving me all alone in the Hoth snow. And dad keep kissing my boots. As for you Yoda that trick of standing on your head won't get another "one of those." "They told you they could hold their liquor? Couldn't you see through that (and them)!?? Gargle Blaster? Sure Chewie and I will have one of those. "I'll have what the gentleman on the floor is having." hgfdjjdhhghgjghjjjjjjjjjghgjhggyhgjhghg sorry we only sell spirits here,no beer Damnit Jim! I thought I told you not to give these guys any of that Romulan Ale ever again!!! Bless you! Wow... When you ask for a chilled drink, You get a chilled drink.. This is the last time I'm drinking beer in this place!!! "Marty, when you hit the gas, your landspeeder accelerated past 88 mph and took us ahead to the Thrawn Trilogy!" Once again, the three remaining jedi of legal age got drunk at the Mos Eisley canteena. That's the problem with dead Jedis, kid. One drink and they're wasted all over again! Now Ben just because he's 2 foot one and green dosent give you the right to gang beat him!!! Aw, hell, have another one, Yoda, what're they gonna do? We're dead! Listen, kid, I'm just a clone of the Admiral, I'm just a bartender working a joint. Now beat it and take your wierd friends with you. Jedis and Alcohol: The untold story Are you sure you want the Radioactive Waste Cola, kid? It's really a grown man's drink. Had too much to drink, Yoda? *BURP* Naa, just HIC tripped. The ghost of obiwan leans over the bar to get a look at the drink menu. "Dang, Luke! Your buddies are real lightweights..." Hey drculla !,can I get some service around here! I'll have what they had THIS HURTS YOU MORE THEN ME Well it looks like the jedi have found their old weaknesses - liquor! Wow, that stuff really can kill you. Even dead Jedi's need to relax. Will someone please pick the "Jedi's" up please. Man! No tolerance.. "Damn Ben where did you learn to get plastered like that?"-Luke "Use the Force Duke, I mean Luke."-Ben Luke learns from the masters that the power of the Force is no match for the house special "Bantha Bacta Blast" Luke: "....Those old has-beens just can't take their liquor.." Luke:"I'll have whatever they're having." Hay! bartender. I think your snake thingy just went too the bath room. "I don't CARE if your dad can kill me just by looking at me, no I.D., no beer!" One way to tell when Jedi's are drunk Damn Ysalamari " Cantina STAND UP my ghostly ass" -Obi-Wan to Yoda Didn't I tell you liquor goes right through them? Obi Wan: "Luke, if you face Dark Rum, you must face it alone, I cannot help you" Yoda: "When 10 shots and 8 pints you drink, stand not this straight you will...hmmm?!" *burp *ack Holy Hemostat Give me what ever they had. Turns em into Ice Scupltures!!!! Even after the Battle of Endor, the Jedi Spirits would follow Luke everywhere he went, and get drunk untill they passed out. Ben (on floor): *BLURP* Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have drunken that 5th glass of blue milk *hiccup* Dang, what didja put in 'em, Luke? Luke: Hey Yoda, this what you meant by, "Luminous beings we are"? "Luke, look what you just did. You use your word wrong. You just use the jedi killer word. You broke the Jedi code. Shame on you!" said Obi wan when last minute before death. Grand Admiral Thrawn to Luke: "Let the wookie win." Freedome Will Be Mine I'll Have one Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster please Even spirts can't always hold their liquor. Oh, *#!$. Did you say that this is the Hotel Ebay? Um, on second thought . . . I'll just have something mild. hah! forgot your beans i see a demonstration of the new jedi-sprit killing drug Whats in the greedo juice, thats making people vomit Mr. Hefner, will you please tell Jabba to leave the grotto? Bartender: "We don't serve their kind here". | Luke: "What?" | Bartenders: "Your dead, they'll have to stay outside, we don't want them here". not only can it repel the force, the ysalamiri can be quite effective against the spirirts of Christmas past, present, and future. "Hey! What's all this seethrough jelly doing all over the place!?" luke:man is that blue guy ever smashed! i never seen someone drink so much teqwuila in my life! i've fallen and i can't get up! Luke: I'll have a bloody mary! Spirit of Yoda: Wasted I am! Spirit of Obi-Wan1: i'll have another whisky *hiccup*! Spirit of Obi-Wan2: Yoda, wasted u only not one! "Yep, I use Acme Brand Jedi Exterminator- gets rid of those pesky Jedi with no hassle for only 99.99! Order yours today!" "I'll have what the gentleman on the floor is having." "Gawd, Yoda & Obi-Wan, you are SUCH lightweights. Here, let me show you how a REAL man drinks..." "damn't luke i told you to put that thing away! " Stong in the Force, Weak on the Alcohol! From the corner of the room Han thought he heard Greedo. So he whirled and fired in an instant, anihilating the ghosts of Ben, Anakin, and Yoda... proof that even with the Force on their side, no Power of the Force figure can stand up properly. It was then that Luke realized that his friends had had to much Force... It's like I said...anyone can out-drink the force How did we get from Tatooine to Aqua world? After saying good bye to Luke the 3 Jedi got drunk. Luke to Grand Admiral Thrawn: "Um...what they had." Luke slowly comes to the conclusion that he would once again be the designated driver In this catina, being intoxicated makes you translucent "Man, these dead jedi people keep litterin' up the joint . . . not very good for business, now, is it?" "Hey buddy,them ghosts with you?" 1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila, FLOOR. Luke:Thrawn, so after ya got stabbed in the heart, you got cloned and now your current employment is Bartending? So I guess you were heart broken huh? Thrawn:So Luke, hows you hand? Luke: YOU B@$7@%D! just because they're ghosts, they think they can't get drunk one last customer is served a drink before the ice sculptures melted causing marginal water damage to the newly waxed cantina floorboards Narator: Friends dont let friends use the Force while intoxicated. Obi-Wan: Gimmmeee da keysh. Imnot drrrrunk. ::hic::! With the release of the new Episode 1 movie, the 3 old Jedis found themselves spending more time at the local bar. Yippeee, Let's PARTY till we glow Bartender: Nyaah! You broke the Jedi Ice Sculptures... Out out with you and your hairy friend there.... Begone! Luke: Um... We're not the disgustingly rude patrons youre looking for... Move along... A scene from Ghostbusters 3 Um, where is the nearest restroom? And then The Late Show with David Letterman got seriously out of hand Luke: What did you put in their drinks?? And can I have some, too? Just goes to prove - jedi can't hold their liquor. Come on guys, who's up for another shot......I'll buy "Take it from me, Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker, never drink and practice the Force, or you'll wind up dead like my father and two masters. Bartender. I will have a coke!....with some rum...." Being to drunk to even breath, Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenoobi thought it would be a good time to show off their breakdancing skills. Yoda-"Lookie me! I can stand on my head!" Ben-"Lookie me, I can play dead!" Anakin-"Lookie me! I'm pukin my guts out over the counter!" "Man, alcohol has more effect when you're a spirit...whooh..." Somone just killed this guy. was it you luke.I did it nut just for fun. Luke had no idea what was going on, but he tried to just play it cool. "I'll have one of those..." Luke: "Yes, I know that I'm a great Jedi knight, but you don't have to kiss my feet, man....get off....." Grand Adrmal Thawn shows off his Star Wars Life Size Ice Pops at the local pub. You must become one... with the floor... "Ya know, tarbender, this Force thing apparently does not cover drinking ....." Skywalker, Skywalker was boozy beggar who could drink you under the table... As the ship made a sudden stop, everyone grabbed on to the rail of the bar to hold onto, excpet for the ghosts, who fell right through. Spirit of Anakin -(Barfs on Thrawn and wipes chin) Sorry about the mess." Nobody expected Yoda to act normally after he got totally smashed, but not even Obi Wan could have forseen his utilization of perfect grammar when dissin' Wurer's momma. Do you, Yoda, Anakin Skywalker, and Obi-Wan Kenobi, take this man in holy matrimony, till death do you part? Oh wait! Bad idea! I forgot you already ARE dead! darn it! and Yoda was suposed to be the designated driver tonight..... Luke: They got tired of waiting for TF.N's captioning to be changed. Thrawn: "Buddy, I think you've had enough." Luke: "I'll have what they're having." Suprisingly, even Jedi spirits can get drunk! You can see them, right? C'mon, you mean to tell me that you don't see three drunk Jedi Masters right next to me? Thrawn always loved it at the cantina when it was Thursday Night when jedis drank free. That always meant the ghosts of yoda, anakin and obi-wan got smashed, then sang old corellian drinking songs I told them the Vodka would be too strong, but did they listen? no!!! "I feel a great disturbance in the...*runs to bathroom*" No thanks, I don't drink dry ice. Thrawn: "I'm sorry, my pet has a runny nose..." Not only does Wookie wine knock out jedis, it turns them a nasty shade of blue During their party at the Mos Eisley Cantina the Jedi spirits had a few too many drinks. Trust me kid: Don't put blue milk and Drano on the same shelf. Luke - "I told you not to give them anything to drink!" Bar guy - "What? Last thing remember was a hand waving and someone saying 'You will let me have a drink'" NO GHOSTS ALLOWED!! GET 'EM OUTA HERE!! "All right, all you Jedi, you're cut off for tonight. BOUNCER!!!!" " Um I do think that they are beautiful ice sculptures, but aren't they kind of a waste here on Tatooine? And do I really have to pay for the one that I knocked over?" whines Luke. Bartender scowls. Spirits and Substance Abuse: The Untold Story "AHHH! Zima!" Luke: "I guess the force doesn't apply when fighting the imperial forces of alchol chewie..." Ben, Anakin, and Yoda find to their chagrin that the only way to get a buzz in their spirit forms is to get close to a ysalimir. As usual, Luke picks up the tab. oh my God im cumming!!!!!!! Nice Why yes... I'm looking for Sub-Zero, as well. turn down the ac AAAAAAAUUUUGHHHH!!!!! I'M MELTING!!!!!!! "This domino effect thing just doesn't work" Luke Skywalker gets his chance as a director. Who the hell farted? i dont know hey anikin just like old times eh? hhhmhmhhm? Drunk I'm not, sober I am What do you mean, no honeymoon suite? Luke: Wow, I'll have what they're having! Mmmmm...stoned am I...yeees...very stooooned Whew...Either there was just a GREAT disturbance in the force, or I'm SMASHED!! Bartender Thrawn to Luke: So you want the blue bantha burger with your correlian ale? Luke to Thrawn: Is that what they had?!! damnit guys now we'll have to glue them down Well, at least ghosts can't get sick, right guys? Oh No!!!! As the bartender explains the origins of the name "Milwaukee" the three Jedi ghosts bow saying, "We're not worthy; We're not worthy!!!!" hey gimme a burger with fries and ayodasodaoops didnt mean to offendyou yoda Bartender: Yeah...we retail spirits. After 10 months of waiting for "The Phantom Menace" the Emperor realizes he was in the wrong line. I told you not to give them that. Now I'll have to get them some Pepto Bismol. "Near, far, wherever you are. I belive that my heart will go on..." *bartender* "If my spare Jedi spirits fall out of the attic one more time I swear I'll..." eliasgamez@hotmail.com A bit of film trivia: George Lucas once directed a remake of "The Shining" that he later removed his name from the credits. "I'll have what they're having!" Beer? No. Zima! I don't think you want the 'Shirly Temple'.... That's what these three had! "I'm telling yous, ther' are three drunk Jedi Masters right over theeere! Don't ya see em'?" Luke has had one too many Then luke thought to himself, "I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore." Luke cringed as he saw the spirits of the Jedi Masters. It was wrong, all wrong."No, No, thats not how you break dance guys! C'mon Thrawn, back me up here!" caption...what caption? Obi-Wan: The Drinks are strong with this one... "Yoda: i guess being dead does not always make one wise." "Obi-wan: Shut up!!! I don't have a drinking problem!!! I can quit any time i want to!!!! Isn't that right Anakin?!!!" ::Anikan lays drunks They just can't handle their spirits "I knew it was a long way down from heaven." Taz Weak Bladdered fools what...what, I didn't have that many beans ALRIGHT BUB, WHO SLIPPED YOU THE RECIPE FOR AUNT BERU'S BLUE MILK TONICS? Yoda: Ohh, I have fallen and I can't get up, eemmmm? The lager and spirits of the Force playset Next time, on Cheers... "Hey, Luke, your Ice dalls fell" Some one had too much to drink Shortly after the Ewok celebration, Yoda, Obi, and Anny hit the sauce. Shortly after the Ewok celebration, Yoda, Obi and Anny hit the sauce. Don't drink the Zima... This beer tastes like @!#%. Now. Are YOU going to stop me from going to Toshi Station to pick up some power convertors? Everyone thought Luke was a jerk for making those three drink so much, but he so loved watching the booze just flow through their systems. Luke: "My goodness the bartender looks like Spock! Chewie tear his arms off!" What really took place after the Ewok celebration. Luke: I'll take what ever they had. Jedi Spirits and spirits don't mix! Lucas left this scene out from ROTJ, it is entiled: After the Endor Celebration. Ainkin stay away from those Catina scum! "Oh no. I can't believe this is happenening. I warned them 'Liquor before beer, have no fear. Beer before liquor...'" Mr. Smith? Yes, we have a room for you and ALL your friends... And after Vader turned them into blue plastic, he turned me into a newt!! < ok i think youve had to much to drink now I just used My jedi fart trick and stoned them cold how ya like me now I just found out Darth Vader is my father...give me what they had! Don't you think Thrawn? You don't go servin' hard liquor to light weights. I mean, look at these three. When do you think the last time they ate was? Our Galactic cocktails force us to require payment first "Man, these Jedi just can't handle their spirits!" Luke (to bartender): I didn't mean THOSE spirits! Raport: Even force can`t prevent effection of an alcohol. You can see that Yoda and Anakin have already pasted out and Obi-wan will soon join them. wow... you really are naked behind there... "I told you, we don't serve their kind!" After just two shots of blue milk, Anakin, Ben and Yoda became one with the floors. This wasn't quite what Luke was referring to when he said that he wanted to be crawling around among the spirts I haven't been this wasted since the hyperdrive leaked and I ended up in some kid's toy box. ...the truth is revealed.....Admiral Thrawn is none other then the evil DR. FREEZE! Oh my God! I told them not to have one more glass of water! Now the percentage of water that makes up their bodies is all out of wack! Someone, go get a sponge! I thought "spirits" cdouldn't get drunk Yoda: let's see YOU do a headstand! whoa i think those spirits have had way too much to drink whoa i think those spirits have had way too much to drink Whoa, they sure felt the force in those drinks! The aftermath of watching the "Star Wars Christmas Special" Thrawn mixes one mean Bantha Blaster... "On second thought, I'll just have the blue milk..." "HELP!! I'M a cheap see-through action figure on my back and i can't get up!" Guy on head: "So what? I'm a cheap figure on my head! Thats even worse!" "NO IT ISN'T!" "YES IT IS!" "NO IT ISN'T!" The Jedi masters after finding out what the lamb fries they just ate were (Luke to Chewie)So anyways three ghosts walk into a bar... Luke: "I'll have whatever THEIR having!" Luke:" Oh my god! They all passed out! What did you give them?" Bartender: " a shot of BROWNO, made from 100% liquified Java's crap!" no more Bud, please... water, water I AM NOT A CROOK HEre's a credit for your troubles. "I told you to lay off those margaritas Ben!!" "I cant believe you let him do that yoda!" Uhhhh Yoda??" WWEEEEEEE~! Hey, bartender! That translucent blue old guy just puked on your bar... And this dead tranlucent blue guy here, looks alot like my dad... I"ll have what ever they had. Me Even the ghosts of Jedi Knights need to drown thier sorrows! "I told them not to drink that stuff, but no..." Luke: Hey, Bartender! What did those guys have?!?!?! I'm sorry but you're too young Luke. Everyone else is in thier hundreds, so they can drink all they want (especially Yoda)! I thought YOU were soposed to stay sober OBI WAN: Yeah, how's it feel? YODA: No good feel.... ANAKIN: Help me, Luke..... LUKE: Oh, god, not again. I'll have a double tequila, straight up. That Juri Juice had a little too much 'spirit' Sadly, Luke realized that the Jedi spirits couldn't handle their spirits. Celebrating Anakin's redemption, Luke and Chewie soon learn that Jedi Ghosts can't hold their liqour, and that ectoplasmic vomit leaves a stain on Wookie fur. whoa...whoops...dark side power...sorry... We Don't Serve their kind here! Ben:"These are'nt the droids we're looking *hic*" Yoda:"I MET HIM IN A SWAMP DOWN IN DAGOBAH, WHERE THE WATER BUBBLES LIKE CARBONATED SODA. YODA!!!YO-YO-YO-YODA!! Y-O-D-A YODA! YODAAAA!!!" Anakin:burp The effects of drinking one too many blue milks This was George Lucas' full realization of the Cantina Scene until told that common sense and budget would not allow. The old Jedi Drunk Trick- "Feel the sauce, Luke" Luke: Gee, I had no idea apirations get drunk so fast... "Jeez one little drink and all the sudden Yoda thinks he's Natalie Portman, he started flirting with my dad and then things got a little out of hand..."-Luke "On second thought...skip the ZIMA!" Now there's three of them!! This movie is really going down hill! t5g 4y4y y5 t5g 4y4y y5 Unbeknownst to Ben, Yoda and Anniken, Thrawn's Force nullifying accessory also impeeded their Jedi drinking skills (of course, Luke is underage) An imperturbably calm Thrawn explains to concerened bar patrons that, owing to their insubstantial nature, Jedi ghosts just can't hold their liquor. Whis "Hey, we don't serve their kind here!" *whisper* "They ARE gay, arent they?" Hey Ben! Wake up! If the storm troopers catch you drunk again, you'll be in big do-do trouble!!! Thrawn relised his punishment he would recive in Haties for Eternity: A lowly Bar Tender serving to drunk jedis and dead beat aliens Thrawn relised his punishment he would recive in Haties for Eternity: A lowly Bar Tender serving to drunk jedis and dead beat aliens Alright obi-wan, thisisi the last time i let you pick the restaurant Alright obi-wan, this is the last time i let you pick the restaurant Soon after finding out that the love of his life is actually his sister, Luke finds himself at the local "Blues" bar... Where did you get your spa form? Can i use your phone to call a cab? Looks as if my friends had a little too much to drink. "Don't mind them. The ghosts of Boonta past, present, and future always hang out here..." Lucas decides to make even more money by combining Star Wars with Titanic "I'm telling you for the last time, kid, our Shirley Temples are STOUT!" Welcome to Jonestown?! You guys must have drank a few cases of Zima, huh?! The dangers of mixing spirits with Spirits. Starwarsguys after a big Session with BEER !! Why are people always breaking down when I take up my Arms. No, not again! Its de farceom Menace again. HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Luke...I am your hangover... "Hey, barkeep, the other transparent guy is pissed drunk. Can I have his Gargle Blaster?" Bartender: What'll it be? Luke: I'll have what their having Luke now realised what it meant to be a REAL spirit drinker Looks like your Jedi friends have had one too many cups of Juri Juice! Man,that thing on your neckfarts is stronger than the force You Jedi know how to party. But you seem a little blue and pale. I will have what they're having. Thrawn: People just don't respect Grand Admirals these days...they gotta have the big, scary looking robes, and the pale white faces...but what about the Ysalamari and the blue faces? HUH!? "So I says, 'Stormtrooper shmormtrooper, you guys couln't hit the sky if you had a sniper scope' and- hey what's with the two drunk transparent dudes?" Barkeep: "Don't look now, but you have a wookie glued to your back." dam, sorry yoda didn't see ya there, your just to dam small dam, sorry yoda didn't see ya there, your just to dam small (cation afterlife waxed floors) ok now i think we went over our limit,.hick up,.,! luke has just told the most funnest ewake joke Guy at bar: So you think you can take my strongest drink? Look what it did to those guys! ILL HAVE WHAT MEG RYAN AND THE JEDI`S ARE HAVING! Luke: How many have they had? Bartender: That's the strange part....they haven't had anything to drink...they just came in and sort of ended up that way..... Bartender:"...yeah, I hate em'- they come in here, mess with the customers,( that little green one won't stop rubbing people's legs), ring up a huge bill, and then vanish like a bunch of damn ghosts." What dead Jedi do on Saturday nights, mess with the living.
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by Shawn Pitman
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