testing
by testing
tseting darnit
by testing
testing
by testing testing 3
Darth Maul Directs the first intergalactic Porno......Stars Whores, The Phantom Penis
by El Guapo
Well I can't see a bloody thing,.....what do you mean the lens cap is still on?
by Mongo
"Okay George! You weild that frigging lightsabre in this heat in all black and three layers of make up!"
by Darth Fluff
"You're right--I DO have a nice butt!"
by marycheetah@aol.com
For some reason, the eye black around the eye piece just didn't have the same effect.
by Mongo
Okay, Neeson, I need you to do an overhead block, and Lucas, I need you to do a backflip away. Okay? ACTION!
by Mason Moessmer
Satan, seen here on the set of "The Phantom Menace", discusses his involvement in the film's creative process. "Jar Jar was all my idea", said Prince of Darkness.
by Optimus Prime
Hey! if i adjust this right I can see into Natlie Portman's shower!
by Luke
Gomamon-Jedi
by Man, this new sunscreen's brutal
Little did Maul know that Qui-Gon had placed black ink on the eye-piece. Boy wasn't he going to be surprised.
by sheared
HMMMMM- Queen Amidala's bedroom. Hey wait-blasted kid and Jedi- I can't see! I'll show them...
by Deac
I can see into Amidala's Bedroom- (drool) wait- this damn guy and kid are in the way. I'll show 'em.
by Deac
"Ok, George. In this scene, YOU get cut in half."
by Sally Hayes
You mean Ewoks are THIS tall??
by Lisa
Screw this camera, I am *not* that short!
by Llen
Darth Maul's Tatooine survaliance scene BEFORE the budget got adjusted for 1999 inflation...
by Brian Haughwout
"When I find out who stole my vest, they're gettin' their ass kicked, Sith style!'
by Yoda's Ghost
RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPP!!!!!!!! "Oh god, I hope that was just the sound a rolling camera makes."
by Lazra
Because he was mean to his fans, Ray Park was forced to make a livin directing porn films
by Matt Stevenson
A little to the left, a little to the right. Okay a little more to the left. No to much to the left, go to the right, My right! Thats the perfect place to put a pit
by Bajome
I see the jedi but by the time I get my cloths on they'll be gone
by joel steingart
DJYODA
by Lights, Camera, Action!
darth maul: "man natalie portman sure does look good naked"
by joel steingart
Liam, move a little to the left... a little more... a little more... Ah, he's out of the scene entirely -- perfect!
by Radegund
Mr.Lucas! What does this do?
by Erica
Enough with the Jedi director...the Sith will reveal themselves and make this a fine picture.
by Darth Scourge
Stupid fan. Work damn you! It's friggin' hot in this suit!
by Deadeye Knight
Fart Maul
by Blackbeard
"Hmm...is that a Jedi I see? Where are my friggin' binoculars?!"
by Inari Icewalker
The Young Darth Maul looking thourgh the telliscope he got for his birthday from his Sith master.
by Bob
Darth Maul is distracted in his quest to wipe out the Jedi as he stumbles on to the set of Baywatch.
by Mike Heidenberg
"Hah, I finally found the directors cut of the movie! Now let's see what happens to me at the end of the...eh...oh..DAMN!
by Vex105
Not exactly the best 2nd unit director: he poked holes in the casting choice for Qui Gon, but he did get his cut in the end. He's a bit horny, too. He does say: Yes master, and Lucas likes that.
by Tokugawa
Great joke guys, but I all ready have a black ring around my eye...
by Acid_Rain327
Hey, that is apretty neat sho--uh, hey! who put super glue on this thing?!!?
by Tokugawa
Darth Maul's early years before he joined the dark Side. Tatooine's most notorious peeping tom.
by Dirk Vader
After the near fatal fight with Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn, Darth Maul got new legs and started a career as a documentary director on Tatooine.
by HPS00
oom pah loom pah doom pah de doo...
by still notelf
Maul: Alright now, work with me people, okay that's it...turn-turn-turn, thaaats it, *clicks several pictures, tosses camera* and I'm spent...Yeah baby!
by JediQueen
Hey, these new macrobinoculars work great! They even have some new x-ray feature . . . hey, what's the lady doing?
by Qui-Jon Jinn
Darth Maul's other life....photographer for National Geographic
by JediQueen
Maul: think this's lil' baby will really help me find those pesky Jedi Knights? I hope so, the guy I got it from said that for 473,920,221 credits it was a real steal...
by JediQueen
AAAAHHHHH!!!!! Darth Maul actually has normal-looking skin!!!! HELP!!!!!
by JediQueen
i swear to god when i find out who stole my robe, some one is going DOWN!, i hope the jedi dont see me in my underwear !
by gjk4
Ray Parks(Maul): Okay, people behind me, QUIT WITH THE JOKES ABOUT MY BUTT!!!!!
by JediQueen
Wow, this thing is a lot better then those damn electorbinoculars. i can see quigon already
by Jason
AAAAHHHHH!!!!
by mudshovel
New X-ray camera, he-he-he! Hey, Ms. Portman step into view!
by Gasgano
Now this is one DANGEROUS plastic bag! It could bite your head off in a minute....Let's see if we can pet it!
by YodaGirl
The good 'ol shoe polish on the camera trick
by AurraSingTK421
Man, check out those babes!
by Obi-Two Kenobi
I'm gonna get that pescily wabbit dis time!
by Darth's Babe
I'm gonna get that pescily wabbit dis time!
by Darth's Babe
Maul: Alright, screw acting! I'm on to directing! It's a easy transition just look at Kevin Costner.......Ah crap!
by Ian Bowie
Cloaks and binoculars were the 1st to go in the Sith cut-backs
by Jedi Bib
Master... I know but he was bigger than me and he stole my robe!
by Jedi Bib
As Darth Maul desperately searched for Qui-Gon Jinn while on Tatooine, he had know idea that a tribe of Jawas were stripping his Sith Infiltrator
by Obi-Two Kenobi
"It's Queen Amidala-nude!"
by Lobot5
"I wish Tattoine would get a bigger holotheater."
by Lobot5
Little did Darth Maul Know, a group of jawas was waiting just behind the rock ready to pinch his...
by Damara Aidendale
Maul:"Hey, You Tusken Raiders! What's this stuff all over my costume?" Tusken Raider:"DIRT!!! DIRT! DIRT!"
by Damara Aidendale
Now watch as Darth Maul demonstrates his new surprise attack for the jedi. "Force Wind"
by Damara Aidendale
"Do I make you horny, Baby?"
by ThatDude
Now where did I put that lightsaber...
by Lucasfan
Now where did my speederbike go?
by John Baginski
(Darth Maul Thinking) What's this!?! Twilik's Totally Nude Review? Allriiiight!
by Jedi Princess
Macrobinoculars aren't like this, Im sure of it.
by Michael D
Little did the pranksters on the set realize that their camera with the black makeup around the eye lens not work.....
by Mara Jade Kenobi
Maul decided that Rick and Georce just didn't know what they were doing, so he came "to put them BACK on schedual!"
by Mara Jade Kenobi
Little did Ray Park know that he was about to be the victim of a practical joke involving a camera and super glue
by Pete
Darth Maul's brother, Darth Mike, on the set of his latest documentary, "From Buskin' to Tusken - Araraarg's Story" (The story of a young busker's rise to Tusken Raider status)
by Wodge Antilles
Darth Maul: The High School Years - T-shirts, beach partys....embarrasing corrective lenses...
by Darth Mallrat
Hey, boss! The girl in the 3rd hut is dancing again!...
by Dwude
Failed attempts to 'be one with the camera'
by Dwude
Wait...almost...yes!...TFN Humor has been updated...a little blurry but I think thats funny!
by Dwude
Evidence that the name "Ray Park" is really George's screen name.
by Just Me
Man, these binoculars are way better than the ones I used last night when I sent out those probe droids!
by Joshua Griffin
"How many times can it say 'ask again later'? I ask and I ask ... "
by Vee
George Lucas: behind the mask.
by Vee
Does this get the PlayImp channel?
by Mark Starbuck
Darth Maul's a white guy??? Nah... its just Rick McCallum playing make believe
by Shewski
Um guys, I don't think there's enough of me in this shot....
by Canadian SithVixen
"All right, we're gonna film this MY way this time!"
by Dawn'elle Viskor
Here we see a clip from the film "A Trick on Farmer Maul," in which Darth Maul has just peered into the nozzle to see why his vaporator isn't working...
by Legal Blockade
Tricked into being promised his own directing job, Ray Park leaves himself open for the world's biggest wedgie.
by CABJBLK
"Wow, she's completely totally nude in there, isn't she?"
by Locdog07
And slowly, the giant leech crawled over towards Ray Park, ever closer, waiting to suck the blood directly from his...foot...
by Locdog07
"Not only am I the president of Star Wars, but I'm also a member"
by Dave Baron
Maul: No, no, that won't do at all. Lucas in the distance: Hey, GET OUTTA THERE!
by AlmightyOne
whats this....can it make cappachino?
by Dark Lord ( please use this one!!!)
i can see my house from here!
by Dark Lord ( please use this one!!!)
wow i can see thousands of people looking at me.....
by Dark Lord ( please use this one!!!)
Lucas:(Off Camera) Ray! Ray! Untie me this minute! I said you could see the shot, not direct the film!
by jedinite
What the Hell is that on the lens? How many times do I have to tell you guys that I want to look fabulous! How do I do that with this crap on the lens? Huh?
by Killer Ewok
I'm telling ya Lucas is blind. Liam isn't wearing ANYTHING under that outfit.
by Smijo Riwil
After Maul's demise, he was given another chance, and was hired by Lucas to be a cameraman. He repeatedly was heard yelling "ANNIE" and was thrown off the crew for turning Anakin to the dark side.
by Roguetwo
You know what this scene needs? Jar-Jar steppin in Poo! ACTION!!
by Lord Briano
Darth Maul makes a home movie of the annual Sith Lord Spring Break trip to Tattooine.
by Lady Hyde
by Fett
Ok, let me see here. I put a quarter in the slot and........OH MY GOD SHE'S NOT WEARING ANY CLOTHES!!!
by Harry Palms
Due to cutbacks in the Sith system, microbinoculars are replaced by the conventional viewing devices.
by Fett's Fury
by
Before becoming to be a sith lord, Maul had aspired to become a recognized documentary film director.
by Rodrigo Huerta
Whoooee! I see Naboo, I see Coruscant, I see Queen Amidala's underpants!!!
by DeMarquet Davis
Darth Maul has decided that he could better direct Episode II better than George Lucas.
by KrossFire
They can't be serious. I can't do that there. Do they think I am some kind of Jedi or something?
by Peter
Darth Maul wasn't satisfied with just being a Sith Lord. What he REALLY wanted to do was direct.
by Darth [Insert Name Here]
heh heh heh..... let's see how YOU like being flipped up in the air, George!
by Rufus Holmes
They couldn't find enough camera men for this movie...
by
park (off stage): "uh, george, you all right?" Luca$: "MESA DARTH MAUL!!" park and rick: wesa in trouble.
by Liz Skywalker
Ray: Okay, Obi Wan and Anakin will come over here..... George (out of picture): FORGET IT RAY! Maul's DEAD already! It's not my fault you can't get any other parts other than,....(snicker) "Toad"
by Daniel Horton
40 years later after the Battle of Naboo: Maul was surgically re-attached, became a B movie flick director: Don't let Mark Hamill cacth wind of this!
by uncle owens charred remains(xtra crispy)
"Hey, check out that hot chick!"
by TR2k
Now that I've killed Lucas I'M the director!
by TR2k
I am sexy. I am really, really sexy.
by Matt Nyk
Oh man, this is great having the set next to a girl's dorm!
by SchottGun
Yes...yes....give it to me baby your an animal YOUR AN ANIMAL..yes...yes...yes...NO! NO! NO!!!...and I'm spent...
by Exar Kun
Star Wars product TIE-IN #29824: Sith Viewmaster
by Exar Kun
Yet another action figure that never was sold: Peeping Tom Maul with spy camera and casual clothes
by Exar Kun
I think i'm gonna puke....
by SiGMA
Ray Park: "Hmm...I wonder why this camera is so low to the ground..." Lucas: "Heres our chance! GO!" Lucas and Ewan pull Ray's pants down and run. "We gotta get that in the out takes!"
by
Peep shows make me so horny...
by Farstrider
Screw the cloak, this t-shirt is much more confortable
by SiGMA
[optics salesman]: Yes sirree, Mr. Maul, you are gonna LOOOVE these new contacts... they'll match those teeth of yours nicely.
by Deftmar
This thing's pretty neat....Hey, there's Natalie!
by SiGMA
Somebody tell Rick and George if they don't stop clowning around, I am not going to take this picture for the archeology club!
by bomaarmonk
In this rare photo, we see that the black around Maul's eyes was not planned, but just a result of Ray Park continuously falling for the old "looking into the camera with ink on it" gag.
by Rufus Holmes
"Let's see.... desert.....desert.....more desert.....I'd say there's plenty of space to work....."
by Sith Lady Tatanya
Hmm...I wonder what's I'll see in...AAAAHHHHHH!
by Matt Lush
Little did Ray know that there was an extremely horny gay Jawa behind that rock....
by Matt Lush
"How do the camera men stand like this for so long....? This does make me look pretty good, though.
by The Vampire Lestat
Jeez, this farmer's tan really sucks...
by Matt Lush
Wow, I can see up Amidalia's dress through this thing...
by Matt Lush
"Are you sure the best way to catch those Jedi is to take off my shirt and dance, Master?" "Do it anyway."
by EmpressFett
"Oh yea baby! Rub that lotion all over....."
by Pizzza the Huttt
Geroge and all his talk! Directing ant hard at all!
by rod
I wonder what scared the cameramen?
by Master Jorge
The famous soot flies into the face of the unexpecting you gaffer scene from the little rascals
by Slippery When Wet
heh heh heh just wait till he finds the shoe polish on the lens cap
by sly
Unbeknownst to most Star Wars fans, Darth Maul had a career in film making before an onset accident put him in the path of Sithdom.
by Dark Lord of the Smith
Hey guys check out the ass on that queen Amidala
by Darth Jordan
hmmm, I wonder if i can find my lines in here?
by Mike Nelson
"I know Sidious said we'd have some cutbacks in our budget, but these new sensors are ridiculous..."
by Hand Solo
Latebreaking News: Star Wars fans will be pleased to know that the late Darth Maul landed a part in the upcoming "Baywatch: The Movie" (Seen here going through the sensor equipment)
by Hand Solo
Ray Parks, upset with the senior cameraman opted to film his own scenes...
by R2-Detour
George Lucas at the filming of Episode II: "Hey Rick, who's that guy on camera 2?"
by R2-Detour
Darth Maul fights all heros in his BVDs...
by Taz
Hope that Jar Jar freak keeps his tongue to himself while I review this film...
by Taz
Lucas tries the old 'black ink on the eyepiece' gag
by Tony Lee
I can't find Wally
by obi wan nairobi
"Ooo arrr...there be trouble a brewing o'er port, cap'n!"
by Tony Lee
Darth Maul has become a long-suffering victim of the old 'glue on the eyepiece' gag.
by Tony Lee
The Mummy creeps up on the unsuspecting Darth Maul.
by Tony Lee
AAAAAAHHH!!! I got stuck here! Somebody help me!
by Darth Bald
Darth Maul taking advantage of "Casual Friday" dress code.
by Kaylar
"I will get those Jedi, by taking incrimenating photos of them and posting them on the net!"
by cbuttrick
OK who put the black ink on the eye piece
by Paul Kinlan
You don't need a zoom lense to see that the tattoos don't go all the way down
by Megativity
"can someone help me get my other contact in?"
by D-Nice
Sith Apprentice Rejects Anonymous commercial: take three:....
by Daniel Horton
Darth Maul :" Hmm, these Tatooine babes sure are hot....."
by Recca
Hey, I can see Natalie Changing in this.
by RzN8rX
Unbeknownst to Qui-Gon and his comrades, Darth Maul was awaiting them in the desert of Tatooine.
by Jedidude
"This works much better than those stupid electrobinoculars"
by Mara
Damn, My Eye is swollen!
by Grendel
"NOW I'll get 'em."
by Anakin Skyrunner
So my glasses will be ready in about an hour?
by "Lance Sloan"
I KNEW I turned that sun lamp on too high! Now look at my face!
by T'Mar
After his character gets killed off in Ep1, Mr. Maul gets a job as a camera man for Ep2.
by cue
hmm..ok..lets see now...i can hang my clothes out to dry on ...OH! that looks like a good spot!!
by gilkongain
lets see if i can get HBO on this sucker!
by gilkongain
Darn Sith probe's down again. If I want it done right, I'll have to do the spying myself!
by "Lance Sloan"
I hate Filming the migits from wizard of oz.
by Ray Baker
AlRIGHT!! The Playsith Channel!!
by Obi Nob Kenobi
Alright!!! The Playsith Channel!!!
by Obi Nob Kenobi
"I really wish they would upgrade these monitor probes!"
by triangleman41
Little did Darth Maul know, but the cunning Jedi played on him the oldest trick in the book ... the black ring around the eyepiece
by Chewbubba
-"Pssst...heheh, wait till he finds out that we put black stain on that eyepiece.....d'oh!"
by Bithsith
Maul repeated his favourite party trick of belching into the microphonewhile lighting a fart
by Darth Sane
Obi-Wans "boot-polish-on-the-telescope" gag fell flat for the first time ever.
by Darth Sane
"Wow, George is actually gonna let me direct a scene. I hope this isn't another ink-on-the-eyepiece gag because of it is, I'm gonna feed somebody to that big fan back there."
by Darth Ridiculous
If this Sith Apprentice gig doesn't work out, I can always be a surveyor.
by Darth Willie
Ooh. Amidala, hehehehe! I love technology.
by Xanthus the Maelstrom
The old lets put oil around the eye piece gag never failed...
by Baron Munchausen
When replacement director Darth Maul says "Cut!" he really means cut!
by Robert Eddleman
Hey, did everyone else see that? When I submitted my caption TFN said it would be posted in a week. Now that's funny!
by Robert Eddleman
Unknown to most, Darth Maul actually enjoys directing his own movies in his free time, when he's not killing Jedi.
by SithNuts
After his little "incident" Darth Maul decided that filming was a much more profitable way to make a living
by SithNuts
This better not be one of those trick telescopes that leaves a black circle around my eye!
by Devn-Ral Gallanti
Maul, R2-D2 wants his camera back.
by Scott C.
Let's see who's soul I can capture next with this thing. Bwahahaha!
by Scott C.
"I see a lot of sand with this gadget." "Well, duh"
by Scott C.
Wait, wait, WAIT. The lens broke, i can actually see TWO suns in here
by Frank Fieuw
Proof that the Sith control Hollywood.
by Ost-Al Swill
Behold the power of poofy directing pants!
by Bitmap
Peek-a-boo I see you
by Anwar
ahh man, the split in my pants did show up! crap, I gotta do that funny flip again
by SLATE76
Damn! Queen Amidala is taking her shirt off!!!
by trippin_jedi
Coming soon: Darth Maul kills George Lucas and takes over his life in the new Miramax film, The Talented Mr. Maul.
by Robert Eddleman
This is a catasrophe, that shot is completely wrong!!! How am i supposed to work in these conditions? My god, i am in bad need of a manicure...
by WCWjedi16
"are you sure that this angle will get my best side?"
by 162696@swan.ac.uk
OH MAN! My butt looks HUGE in these.
by Hunterfsm
"I can see into the women's shower"
by Hunterfsm
Darth Maul falls for the ol' shoe polish gag...
by Iceheart
"Okay, nice view...now would someone please call me a chiropractor"
by Iceheart
Yet another die-hard fan trying to get a glimpse of filming
by Iceheart
With the Holonet down, Lord Sidious resorted to sending messages to his apprentice in a 3D View Master.
by Jedi1138
by
Okay ... who put the super glue on the viewfinder?
by Emperess Palpatine
Unaware that Lucas and McCallum are snickering, Ray Park falls for the old "Naked Lady in the Film Camera" gag
by Randall Flagg
So you're saying there really is a tiny little me in there?
by Alli-Wan
Like all eager Sith Apprentices, Maul hoped to record his first Jedi duel for posterity.
by Alli-Wan
"......E.....N........L......P........O........Z." ok thank you mr. Park . now can you read line 5?
by Pete
Maul: "Hey, there's nothing to see here, guys! Mmm... no, don't tell me - it's the old 'black-ring-around-the-eye' trick, right!?!"
by Rad Radical
After his production in "Star Wars", Darth Maul found it hard to find another job
by Kyra
Maul: "Wow! That's no moon! It's a... space station!!!"
by Rad Radical
George Lucas: "No, it's not working! Maybe we should just get you some fancy contacts instead... "
by Rad Radical
Ray Park can't help but spy on the lady's dressing room with the zoom lens.
by Darth Mall
Maul: "I can see something far, far, far, far away... could it be... yes, I believe it's the update for TFN!"
by Rad Radical
george told me to look in this ca.. DARN it's one of those stupid "hey take a look in this camera" tricks
by Loeslover
The rest of my costume has to be SOMEwhere on this planet....
by Mighty Quinn from Michigan
Wow! They're right! I really DO have lots of lines in the movie! Too bad, you have to use this ultra top secret caption reader to see them.
by Darth Shopping Mall
"Okay, back a bit... Everybody SMILE!" Luke Skywalker couldn't help thinking that the man hired to take his school yearbook photos looked oddly familiar...
by Luke Skywalker PX
Darth Maul in his early days as a surveyor
by Steven Cavanagh
After the incident in which Ray Park got stuck to the camera in the desert, the Episode One Makeup Team made the decision to thin the Darth Maul paint mixture.
by Klecser
What a close shave!
by Gasgono
Go-go, Darth Gadget laundry machine!
by Bullwinkle
Whoa, the colors! trippy man
by Wedge Antilles
"Say cheese, cast!"
by MichaelPorwoll
Looking into the camera had always made Ray Park horny...
by Alex Perkins
wow, these are a lot better than those macrobinculars!
by Wedge Antilles
Good ol' old fasion Home Movies
by Mikeyp
Good ol' old fasion Home Movies
by Mikeyp
Maul: Lucas! It wont focus. Lucas: No, its just your messed up yellow eyes. Get back to work! Maul: ( mumble) Yes sir.
by Mikeyp
That camera guy is very ugly!
by starwars
"Rear Window, starring Darth Maul!"
by Sven
Hey look- over there! I think... yes, it is! It's Elvis!!!!! I hope he likes my hair!
by Jenny
Smile your on Candid Camera
by Ryan Harrod
Hey you in there! Yeah, you! Give me back my cape! Don't make me come in there!
by Neferhent
"Say cheese!"
by Neferhent
After a four-thousand dollar makeover, George just looks a little diferent?
by Becky
Peek-a-boo!
by Neferhent
"Well, what do you know? He really DOES hit his head on the door!"
by neferhent
"Well I just don't get it"
by Leah Organa
Did I really do that?
by R2D2casey
Kiss my @$$, you dumb cliff!
by Grand Moff Puppeteer
"Hey, I look scary!"
by Qwi-Xux
Come on Sebulba. Come on Se.. HEY! Who's that kid? He's pretty damn good. Why didn't my ($*&%*$ bookie tell me about him?!?
by morganyyz
"Well I just don't get it"
by Leah Organa
MY..HORN...IS....STUCK...IN THE EYE PIECE!!!!
by THX 6896
Maul: C'mon Jinn, shake a little harder - convince me you can strangle the kid and we can call it a day. Jake: Mommiiiieeeeeee!!
by Terran Shila
Darth Maul's yonger brother Darth Casterate, GL's personal Assistant.
by Dart Zader
cut,cut ... no no jake,this is the part where u say "you two suck ,why cant you be cool like that maul guy"
by Combat Chuck
Is the dark side more powerful master yoda? No, but they seem to like black face paint and have an afinity with cameras
by Combat Chuck
0george decided to loose the 30 year old flannel shirts and dawned the black sith garbs and face paint
by Combat Chuck
Surveying the site for the new "Darth Mall"
by Captain EO
Darth Maul's tryout for the part of "The Spleen" in Mystery Men.....
by The Supreme Lady of Darkness
Darth Maul's audition for the part of "The Spleen" in Mystery Men.....
by The Supreme Lady of Darkness
*thinking* . o O ( Why do I have a feeling that this has ink on it.) "Very funny george!"
by Azrel Magick
I still can't believe they put glue on this eye lens.
by Azrel Magick
Little did Darth Maul know that Obi-wan put black shoe polish on the camera, resulting in the black rings around his eyes
by dude
I wonder what will happen if I blow into this...
by Azrel Magick
Uh oh, looks like those pesky Tuskens have made off with Liam. Heheh, Lucas'll hafta pay me extra if he wants me to fight a CGI of Liam...
by Lord Uninsidious
Aww, look... They smudged the lens... *Someone's* gonna loose some hands...
by Mand Coulinshi
does shooting this kind of film make any one else horny (darth maul is shooting episode 2 3/4 the making of luke)
by nick rock
Damn I look good on film.
by Darth Millennium
When his three probes unexexpectedly broke down, Maul sighed, got out of his sweaty robe and did the damned Jedi-seeking himself.
by Emperor Palpatim
Darth Maul's long-rumored involvement with Episode 2 is revealed as the Lucasfilm staff scouts locations...
by Sean Walsh
Dang! Does anyone hava another quarter? I want to look at the giraffes some more!
by skawookiee
Um...George? We forgot to take the lense cap off....
by Acid_Rain327
Sidious: I told you to stop looking in Queen Amidala's window!
by Ummm...
Hmm...maybe I left the rest of my stuff over there...HEY! Take off my jacket Ewan! It's not a good fit!
by Mark Johnson
is my sith cloak in here? dang...
In jail, they drop soap.....in Hollywood they have the absurdly short movie camera.
Amazingly, Maul's legs and head survived, but he had to have a torso transplant and this unfortunately meant he had to seek a lowly job at lucasfilm.
heh heh heh...little does Goerge know that I am filming HIM. I love this job
I see you!!
Ray Park: Maybe if I pretend I'm a camera man, Goerge won't notice me and I won't have to fight Liam Neeson. George Lucas: Ray!!!Get over here!! Ray: How did you know it was me???
*growls* This the last time I borrow Sidious' spy camera! At least my arms are getting the tan they need....
My damn probes broke down! Now I gotta use this telescope.
Wow...I can see...desert, desert, and MORE desert! Way cool!
I hope she doesn't close those curtains
"no, boba fett really ISN'T in the crowd"
I dont see any thing.....come on show me where it is..
oh wait...this is no place for a "pull my finger" joke
HA! yet another sucked for the old "ring around the eye" prank
Hey! A neat telescope! Wait a minute... why do I have a black eye. Son of a...
Hey, those guys over there have cocktail wenies!!! Why didn't I get any? I'm Darth Maul god dammit!!!
Darth Maul's new hobby... the Dark Side just got too boring.
new career opportunities after episode 1: on location for sithworks
When probe droids fail, there's only one option left if you want to spy on the Jedi.
There's nothing out here! What were those guys thinking? They think they can paly tricks on the Sith? WEll, I'll show them. My lightasber, Mr. Lucas?....
George Lucas: Before he made it big and got cosmetic surgery.
Wait a minute Qui-Gon I want to make sure that Darth Sidious gets this fight for his home video collection.
Darth Maul checks the shot for one of the most important scenes in his autobiographical film "Darth Maul, The Man Behind the Weird Face Paint"
George Lucas: "Hee, hee, hee...Just wait until he finds out that we've put dye on the eyepiece. His eyes will be black forever."
As Ray Park took his face away from the camera, the crew were dissapointed that their "Black Eye" camera piece had no effect
Okay, just a peek....oooh! My back!! umm, Qui-Gon? Could you come here a second? The part where I brutally humilated not to mention murdered you in the new movie? That was just a joke...I swear...
Okay, if I line this up juuuust right, it should reflect off the mirror behind me. Then I can drop my pants and everyone will see just how much I can tattoo!
"This security camera HAD to of caught the Jawa that stole my costume!"
After riding too fast on the merry-go-round, Darth Maul leans over in pure sickness....aaand pokes his eye out in the process.
if i have to fix this thing again...
Darth Maul, "There's some crap from that Bantha on the lens."
hummm let's see what's in there...
Oblivious to the fact that Darth Sidious put shoe polish on the lens, Darth Maul takes a peek hoping for a nude scene....
I seeee youu!!
I knew I should have put some sun tan lotion on my face!
Boy, I don't know what I was thinking wearing all that black to Tatooine! This is a much comfier way to hunt Jedi!
No Darth...the other end.
Darth Maul Jr. on bring your kid to work day
"Hey, I can't see Coruscant . . . what kind of freaking telescope . . . wait. Are you guys pulling my leg?!"
...and this is how we get the rings around his eyes...
I'm tired of being the bad guy, can I be the photographer now?
wow am I getting horny!
wow! who needs a lightsabre when you got one of these!
after he through his back out this is all we could use him for
after trying several times, the other young sith realized the old "ink on the eyepiece" trick just didn't work right on maul...
hey guys check it out!!!! Amidala's getting ready for her shower!!!! OHHHHHHHH!!!
So what am I supposed to be seeing, anyway??? Guys? Guuuyys????
Uh-oh, looks like someone needs a spanking!!!!
It started out as a pimple!
MAUL:"aaand cut!" LUCAS:"Hey! Thats my line!" MAUL:"Shut it!"
Darth Maul directs his new movie: "Got Sith-ilis?"
Oh man if this isn't the worst day of my life.. First I lose to some Jedi-Padawan, and now I got my face stuck in this.. what the hell this even is!?!
Darth Maul: It doesn't take a rocket scientest to tell that this is an intergalactic can-opener!
Ok, so I take off my robe, then look into the little hole... HEY! There's nothing! Qui-Gon tricked me again!
It was a little known fact, but Darth Maul dreamed of being an independent filmaker before Sidious "discovered his real talents.
darth maul falls for the old "ink around the eyepiece" gag
"alright now i just turn this dial here, than turn this thingy and.... OH crap!!(goes off running)
?Old Darth Maul's microbinoculars?
The truth behind Natalie Portman's many costume changes. This camera just "happened" to be aimed at her trailer. (This "extra feature" will be included on the dvd.)
?special effects? ?sandstorms? OK RAY PARK and his FARTS........ pprrrrrrfffffffffffffffffffffffff
Come on, Ewan, just screw me, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!
During his spare time filming for Episode One, Ray Park oversaw the construction of the London Eye by cheap Tunisian labourers
OK, who put the glue on ?
Come on, Nathalie.... just bend over a little more.....
Maul:"ok, ok, just a little more to the left... again... again... just another step." Anakin (off screen)"here?...AAAAAGH! NO! NOT THE SARLACC PIT!" sarlacc: "burp." maul: *grins* "i LOVE to be evil!"
Wow! That slave kid's midiclorian count is off the scale!
While waiting for his probe droid to return, Darth Maul tries to peep into the dressing room of Jabba's Slave girls
"A video camera... very diabolical..."
"Uh, George? Help! I'm stuck! and the camera is smearing my makeup! Help! Help!"
"No, no, NO, ladies! Oola, I want more *pazzaz*, damm*t! Mara, you call *that* a high kick? Oh, sigh! Do it again, do it again!"
Convinced that the Jawas were cheating during the strip poker game, Lord Maul uses his "Super Powered Sith Scope" to track them down!
Ohh boy..... Sick, as a dog. Gonna puke......
oooh!, that Amidala chick sure is hot!
At last, my search is over. At last, I shall have revenge on that @#$%# punk kid who stole my cloak!
I'm sorry, Master Sidious, but I think this white T-shirt is so much more comfortable!
Darth:"Thank you Lucas, I'll take over from here" Lucas:"What? you're not a director, you're a stunt. You couldn't...*ghack*(force choke)" Darth: "Your lack of faith disturbs me"
"This STAP is a little uncomfortable..."
OK...Obi Wan might win the final fight...but I`ve got the perfect butt!!!
My Bum is on the ROCK!
Darth Maul demonstrates dinosaur technology macrobinoculars.
Darth Maul in his Directorial Debut entitled Black Garbage Bag, A Love Story.
one dreadful day the "black inck around the eye hole"trick went terribly wrong.
Unkown to many, Darth Maul had a deep love of archeology that he had always wished he had pursued.
Hello in there!
That looks ridiculous, george. Now get your ass away from that spring-board before you hurt yourself.
Hey! I put my 50 cents in the little slot! Where's the dancing Empress?!
No No No, this angle just won't do, it gets my bad side..not my...ohh wait...nevermind
Oh yeah. This is gonna look great when I whoop his ass.
Darth Maul: I swear I'm gonna kill whoever put the superglue on this eyepiece! You are dead Qui Gon if i find out it was you! You're always picking on me just because I'm a sith!
Applying the tough around the eye makeup
Wow! This is the best viewfinder that McDonalds ever handed out! I love these toys from "El Dorado." Ooooh...
This new design for the sith probe droid may not be all it's cracked up to be....
Yes, Yes, Very Nice! This works much better than my regular pair of macrobinoculars.
Darth Sidious - "Here, look through the viewfinder, Pretty girls, Maul!" D. Maul - "Oh! You tricked me with the old ink on the eyepiece trick!" How Maul really got his black eyes.
"You see, I had to earn my keep too. Before I was a Sith, I had to photograph the family Tatooine honeymoon trip to earn enough money for my cloak."
You sure this thing will help me find my missing tunic and lightsaber?
Oh where, Oh where could those infurnal Jedi be?
"Let me just see this . . . (RIP!) Alright! now you gonna git it! These were my favorite directors pants!"
hmm...let's fast forward this and see what happens at the end of the movie.....HA! Qui-Gon dies!...hold on...uhhh, ooohhh.
So that's how Palpatine gets his skin to look so soft.
Darth Maul takes time out from fighting the Jedi to check out the "scenery" on Theed Beach.
The uncovered link between sebulba's crash & the dusty knoll
The uncovered link between sebulba's crash & the dusty knoll
Hey! Like the new look George!
Oh man Ain't-It-Cool-News is gonna LOVE this
"Look pal, just because I'm a dark lord of the Sith doesn't mean I can't wear a white t-shirt. That robe is killing me."
Maul: "I guess nobody'll notice me farting if I bend over like this, hehe!"
Darth Maul's new glasses worked perfectly but at times he felt they were a bit too thick.
Chuck Woolery appears as Anakin's conscience and tells him to be "Greedy" and turn to the Dark side.
In aplot to steal Darth Maul's cape, Anakin put superglue on his telescope, grabbed the cape and ran.
Darth Maul was lucky to be one of the participants in Tattoine's first casual day
Onagga
"Movie theaters are sparcly populated. If George is correct we will fill them quickly, master."
(speaking with low voice into the fan) "Luke...Luke...I am your father! La La Lo La Ley..."
the dark side of the camra crew
the dark side of the camra crew
Hmmmmm........yes.......white shirt, black pants, steel-toe shoes, camera, horns coming out of my head,...........yes....I should fit in quite nicely with the rest of George Lucas' staff!
Hey, look! With this thing, I can see my spaceship from here!
Darth Maul finds it entertaining to watch himself die over and over
smile for the camera
Telescoping eye, Activate Now!
George Lucas' money ha finally run out, and Star Wars goes primitive in costume and props.
Maul-"I gotta find a better way to search for the Jedi. "
Eh heh heh heh.. Little do YOU know I am ploting rght now.. Ohh look at that thing! *turns camera*
The camera makes me look so FAT . . .
How long do i have to wait for Sidious to take his leap frog jump?!
I never wanted to be an evil sith lord...i always watned to be...a cameraman....leaping from scene to scene...across the great stages of brittish columbia with my best girl at my side, singing,singing
Now THERE'S a healthy lookin girl.
What is this idiotic human contraption?
Whoa! That Skywalker chick's hot!
At last she will reveal herself to me, at last I will have....ummmm, no, of course i wasn't looking into Natalie's trailer!
Ray: Ok, who placed the camera this low? All you'll be able to see is me fine bum, if that's what the ladies want...
Once again, Darth Maul falls for the old "ring around the eye" trick
During his lunch break Darth Maul decides to check out the "galactically renowned" Mos Espa Peep Show
Okay, you Jedi say I have to look in here what happens next
Two seconds later some one fires a rubber band at Darth Maul's butt.
Hey, Qui-Gon! Did you know they were filming us?
" Lets see if I can pop a loaf while it looks like im filming! George'll never notice!" ( various grunts and moans ) "Maul..did you just.." No! The jawas did it!"
" I hope this doesnt smear my face-paint"
" I hope this doesnt smear my face-paint"
National Geographic. It seems that the production is doing the filming!
National Geographic. It seems that the production is doing the filming!
George: Ok action! Maul: O $h*t! ( walks away) doo doo do ( whistle whistle ). George: Alright, who did the filming!
With technological advances, this old joke has gone far beyond just a black ring around the eye...
Hey I just discovered... if you zoom in this camera just a little more you can see Qui-Gon in the Queenie's starship. Cool!
"So...um...where you put the dime"
The Jedi will rise again. I promise
Ha! Caught you with your robes off!
Darth Maul had misplaced his macrobinoculars so he was stuck using this acient piece of junk.
Why use macrobinoculars when you have this?
"Hey! I don't see no good looking woman!"
Im Dead Sexy!
so far my plan is working I have just bet up Ray Park stole his costume and now I will take this camera and take some clips of the next star wars movie productions the things TheForce.net will do
With this new spy cam, I can now see anything... Ewww... So thats what Darth Vader looks like under his armor
Mr Darth Maul has been caught for being a darth dude and sentanced to life watching "Barney!" Wait, That is what turned him in the first place
Maybe if I use the zoom I can increase my dialogue in this flick.
Every 30 seconds its another 25 cents
It was necessary to have an eyewasher handy, for Darth was always getting sand in his eyes, which are constantly red.
Now hold still everybody, this one's for the Sith Academy Yearbook.
Is my butt REALLY that big?!?!
Hey, wait a minute Mr. Lucas! What happened to my speeches? I hope you didn't cut my tap scene out too.
"Gosh I knew I should have put sunscreen on!!"
"Man, the camera really does put 10 pounds on ya'!"
"Hey Mom come here, see that little boy walking with those two guys with lightsabers, he becomes Darth Vader later on!!!!"
You need to move a little more to the right... no, my right....
What a waste of a quarter.
Und now, ve'll tale a luuk intu zee feceeneting vurld ooff zee desert leeffe-a.
Even Darth Maul enjoys a good, old-fashioned peep show, no matter how small.
Dang...I can ALMOST see into Amidala's shower...
George: "RAY!!! are you looking at porn? WELL YOU!!
Look in the hole you say? This isn't anything like the time you said pick up the soap is it?
how do you use this urinal?
Lord Sidious? This thing's stuck to my face... again...
Hey, I can see my house from here...
WOW!! so thats what the flu bug looks ..cough..cough.. looks like..cough. Guess I shouldn't have...cough..cough.. opened the container.
I gotta get me one of these!
Casual Fridays on the Phantom Menace set...
That DOES it, George! I'm not gonna stand around all day wearing black in this heat...MOVE OVER!!!
Coming soon to a theater near you: "The Sith Witch Project"!
hey Miss portmane can ya roll on to your back for a minute!
Darth Maul, like Barbra Streisand, is a triple-threat in the entertainment business: Dark Side user. Sith Warrior. Director.
"Well, by watching the movie here, I can tell the Queen landed somewhere on Tatooine... but they don't say WHERE!"
Phaw! That Natalie Portman sure does look goo in this shot!
Little did Natalie Portman know who REALLY took those pictures of her on the beach.
In his spare time Darth Maul was an avid bird watcher
Oh.. is that Pam..
"well my little friend looks like you got something jammed in there pretty good"
Darth Maul just loved watching peep shows.
Hmmm...So that's when they'll be updating the humor section.
Now maybe I will get more than THREE bloody lines!!!
Realizing that his double bladed lightsaber is the most powerful weapon in the galaxy Maul takes control of filming.
"I hope I can spot those Jedi with this really big Sith telescope"
Darth Maul was just an apprentice, but what he really wanted to do someday was direct...
"I hope I can spot those Jedi with this really big Sith telescope"
Lucas and the film crew laughed and laughed. Once again, Ray park had falled for the black-mark-from-the-lens gag...
Ray Park undergoes the thrice-daily retina scan to insure security on the TPM set...
Darth Maul gets a report from his probe droid. "...Mmhmm, mmhmm, good.. wait, back up... hey! What's Aurra Sing doing here?! This is MY mission!"
I can't belive I used Darth Maul's face cream
Darth maul fimally gets the time to examine those new"technological marvels"
"Inversed polarity regulator.. Huh??? Looks like a camera to me...."
Little did Maul know of Anakin's "big honkin' fan o' death" behind him.....
Between filming in Tunisia, Ray Park tried on some of George Lucas' puffy director pants and kind of went with the flow...
....I left my electro-binoculars, my little floaty droid, my FRIKKIN OUTFIT, I have to drive that speeder instead of my infultrator,...what next?
The Jedi discovered Darth Maul's fatal flaw. DM "Just look at all the pretty colours. I'm so interested in this Kaleidoscope that I can't see that thing thats about to puree my head"
"Oh my god that's how I LOOK!!"
Hiya Jar Jar, how are ya.
Damn it's hot out here!! hmmm...wonder if i'll be able to see any hot chicks with thing?
Well, well... I must install this device in Amidala's bathroom.
"I really like this show but could you remove the part where that Maul guy gets cut in half?"
"George, take the mask off" HISS!!
so... in this shot i am battling Liam, and then he jumps on to the cg ship, right ... well then, who's gonna hold the camera
you know, in this light Tatooine looks an awful lot like Tunisa
humus, reminds me of humus
I will call him "mini-Darth Maul"
The infamous "Darth Maul gets drunk and throws up all over tatooine" scene that was cut from the film
mmmmm, nachos
Where'd that big hampster wheel come from, don't tell me thats ANOTHER thing i have to do for this move, i mean, i die in the end . . . right?
mmmmmm.....nice, ladies, nice........OH! UH...Mr. Lucas!......I..........uh.......damn...
mmmmmm.....nice, ladies, nice........OH! UH...Mr. Lucas!......I..........uh.......damn...
"See? I told you what that other guy had was contagious."
"Oops I Drop the Soap"
"I don't see it. Lucas said that if I look through here I could find a Taco Bell, but I don't see it."
Hey! There's the jedi! I can see them from here!! Jeez! Who needs probes!!!
I think i lost a contact
Maul was good at fighting, but he's too stupid to find the bus, even with that big thing!
"C'mon Jedi, Come out, come OUT!"
"C'mon Jedi, Come out, come OUT!"
"This is the best way to ignore that those tourists are staring at my ass..."
George Lucas: Hey! What the hell you think your doing over there?! Get out of here now!
Directors -- the most likely people to turn out to be evil.
does my bum look big in this
Darth Maul in white!? That's just not right...!
do i make u HORNY, baby
Odd how it seems Darth Maul does not have red and black skin.....hmmmm...
Darth Maul: "He he he...George Lucas is gonna FREAK when he sees that I've messes up Natalie's face with this grease..he he he...
Darth Maul looking over the battle scene that was just shot: "My my my... I really DO look fatter on camera...looks like I'm gonna have to stop snacking on those Nala Tree Frogs...
MAUL: What kind of odd weapon is this? Perhaps my master could use it in a new superweapon. LUCAS: Not unless he wants to join in my evil efforts to take all the $ on Earth with movies! Hahahahaha!
Hey, what's down here? It looks like a sword of light... AAAGHGHGH! My EYE!
"Look, they actually updated the Humor section at TheForce.net!!!!"
While on vacation Darth Maul takes in some of the sites
How does this dryer work, anyway?
Hasbro's latest resculpt: Volleyball Court Darth Maul
look at that BABE!
"Okay - how do I defeat Qui-Gon again?"
Peak-a-boo...I see YOU!
Darth Maul cheating when he plays "hide & seek" with Obi-Wan...
It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye...
Midget
George- "RAYY!!!!!!!!!!!! How many times do we got to tell you can can't keep looking in the Dressing Room windows?!"
Are you sure this shot doesn't make my but look big
Objects in the camera lens are closer then they appear
Hey, the Instant Movies are existing (Spaceballs)! Oh shit, I die at the end of the Movie.
Hey guys, I can see Natalie Portman changing in her dressing room all the way from here through this thing!
"I TOLD Ray to wear sunscreen on his head, but noooo...."
All right...who put crazy glue on the lens again?!
Alright! If I'm directing I can say CUT before I get killed and then never say ACTION, oops.
I hope this isn't one of those 'grease on the eyepiece' tricks
Even sith lords love a little romp in their jammies.
Ray Park finds that today's lunch just did not sit well
What sith do on dress down fridays.
Who put glue on the camera?!?!
No one was brave enough to laugh at Darth Maul's puffy director pants.
A little bit to the left. Yeah thats it, now say cheese!
I see you
Darth Maul making sure the camare is in focus!
Darth Maul felt he wasn't getting enough money, so he took a second job as camraman.
Maul: "If there's a black ring around my eye when i am done looking, you're all ganna die."
Yeah baby, take it off, ohh ya bay, you know i want you (He was horny)
"Now this is the sence where Obi-Wan,and Qui-Gon Die!
Dang! shes hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, look at that, some smurfs snuck on the set!
First I was a stunt man, then I became an actor, and now, you guessed it, I'm a director! (Luaghs in an evil tone)
"This isn't gonna be one of those gag lens that leaves a black ring aound my eye, is it?"
NOW WHERE IS THAT PESKY ESPIONAGE DROID?!?
I just hate it when the cameras don't pick up my hadsome facial features
DarthLucas setting up for the next shot...
I think i saw a pussy cat... i did! i did see a pussy cat!
Darth Maul says: "This R2 unit seems to be broken... let me take a look..."
Darth Maul said he would work anywhere on Episode 2-He Wasn't Kidding
And I see Timmy, and Sheila, and Kirsty, and Billy....
In his rare breaks from being a Sith Lord, Darth Maul enjoyed a spot of movie-making
While plotting his ambush Wile E Maul was heard to say... "Wile E Maul Super Genius"
my god, the camera does make me look fatter
"I put black texta on the lense"
The joke: An ink smear on the eye piece of the camera . The result: look for your self
Maul's common cover-up for nasty gas. Anakin: Pee yoo, Maul: Who smealt it, dealt it
Shake shake shake....shake shake shake...shake your booty- shake your booty
"Oh my gosh!!! I look really fat in these pants!!!!"
"Well, I have my mother's thighs, I have to learn to deal with that."
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little Gungan too!!
"I just looove spying on Nat Portman's dressing trailer between shoots.. it makes the wait seem worth it...."
Waaait a minute... are you *sure* R2 isn't anywhere to be seen? I swear, the special fx guys programmed him a bit *too* well for the Episode 1 storyline....
Nah... guys, I can still see the wheels under the speeder, we need more petro jelly on the lens!!
"oh yeah Amidala, take it all off !!, OH NO its Shmi Skywalker, PUT IT BACK ON, PUT IT BACK ON !!
Maul, Private Eye - Day 22: Still no Liam Neeson in sight. The production crew swore we'd be shooting last week, and my rations are getting low. I hope the fx crew didn't siphon my speeder's gas....
Hey look! You *can* see Mos Eiseley from here! (George and Rick giggle under their breath)
Day 3: The Sand People's masscre continues. I am preparing to shell the camp below with 50mm howitzers from the fx crew's van. Our raised position should give us ample defense if all goes well....
Hmmm...I wonder what this does....
"You'd think a dark lord would have a better telescope
During a break, Maul shows his voyeur side by peeking in on the ladies
Visit my site www.badmaul.com to see what I see
spiying on queen amidala getting undressed
Do not look at me!!!
That doesn't look right!
I'll take over tatooine...and this stupid production company!!! Hey,by the way, how do you work this thing!!Hello..this doesn't.(a voice in the background) ..its not turned on you looser!!!
I know my character developement is around here somewhere.
"Her her her. What do you think this doo hickee does???? I wonder."
"0o0o0o0o0o0o. A big, purty, ummmmmmm, triangle thing. I've always wanted to see this kind of thing!!!!!
Wow! Look at the puppies on that one!
At last, the Eludium-Pu 36 Explosive Space Modulator...now at last I CAN blow up the Earth and get that unobstructed view of Venus..
Darth Maul prepares to shoot the first scene of the Star Wars Holiday Special: Special Edition
Darth Maul patiently scans for signs of a Caption Page update
Now where did natalie portman go?
Do I make you horny baby?!
"... I can see for miles and miles and miles...."
My, Mr. Lucas, You're looking, different.
In his spare time, Darth Maul relaxes making independant films
AHHH!! IT'S SUCKING OUT MY BRAIN!!
Where is my lightsaber ?
C'mon, Ewan, just a little to the left...perfect! Right in the crosshairs!
'Arg! I asked lord Sidious to buy those new, lightweight binoculars, but did he listen? No. "Gotta keep the budget low" he said. I swear, someday...'
"I never knew that our camera men were this short!"
Hey ma, I can see myself.
She told me it would wash off mum.
After hearing about Midichlorians himself, Dr. Maul undergoes further investigation...and still doesn't know what the hell Qui-Gon was talking about.
Oringenal Darth Maul with heavy mounted blaster canon
Maul-"You know, with all the power of the Dark Side, you'd think there'd be an easier way to search for Jedi."
CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT!
Darth Maul gets his daily peep shows
Little does Darth Maul know that he has sealed his fate by looking at the "dancing girls". He is soon to suffer the wrath of Foghorn Leghorn and a lead pipe.
Darth Maul directing huis debut picture: "Dewback Love"
ooooo.... 3d
WHOS THAT POKEMON?
"Hmm...yunno if we didn't spend so much on fancy-pants cameras I could afford a wicked-bummed costume..."
Moonlighting with Darth Maul
Smile for the camera Gui-gon
Need any help down there,Master?
Watching chicks through this scope sure makes me umm HORNY!!!!!
"I'm sure there was that red spike headed dude in black hanging there..."
This is one really big monocle.
Darth Maul makes the mistake of bending over in the Tatooine prison. A small astromech droid approaches silently from behind with his data plug.
"hey george this is a really thingy, its got a mirror and I can see a rip in the back of your pants!' 'your fired!!!!'
Man , these Jedis look real good up close . Maybe they should try modeling .
"i never knew your eyes looked so good from here, george'
mauls terrifying secret
curious george, gone sith
'' i wonder how much this little thingy cost.......''
''hey, with this xray thing i can see your.......george!'' ''youre fired''
[off in distance]''you're fired!!'' [as seen] ''and another one bites the dust''
Those stupid camera guys can't do anything, If you want something filmed get a Sith to do it.
''now how do i get that 7up down there?'' [in mind]'' use the force!!!''
luke skywalkers horrifing secret
''jerry jerry jerry!!''
Well...*spit*..your carborator's ain't carborating... *spit*..your power converter's ain't converting...*spit*..yup, its broken...
You might be a redneck sith if....
Do these pants make by butt look big?" "Yes"
"So I just put my head here, and it will polish it?"
MYSTICAL SITH! What have they been filming, Its a load of crap ohh well there's nothing that a sith can't fix, there we go thats much better now there is a bit more of me in the movie.
Hmmm. I wonder if that chick over there diggs my butt. Lemmie just lean over a little more... there!
Ok Jabba, With this Wide angle lens, I should be able to get your entire butt in the shot.
Im gonna kill the guy who put glue on this eyepiece!
Oh yeah, this definitely beats using those binoculars to find the Jedi!
"Hey why did Qui Gon tell me there was ladies in here and now my head is stuck to the camera"
Ohhhh, I gotta fart!! Ooooo, what's this?
take 1557
Hey, there ARE little guys in there!
GEORGE: You are right, Ray! Anakin really looks shorter from this point of view.
Hmm....there's a little spec on the lens....hmmmmm.....
Hello!Im not a bad ass Sith but I play one on tv!
Is this thing on?
*Maul pressing rewind* " I wonder if they got a good shot of my butt..."
Off screen:"Um er, ah there, er ah, is a $1000 tax on er,ah puffy directing pants"
Darth Maul: His moisture farming days before turning to the dark side.
"Join the dark side" they said, "You can rule the universe" they told me......what do I end up with? Filming some second grade imperial training video. I'll make them PAY one day....
Little did George Lucas know that the crew had performed a little joke on him, by putting Darth Maul face paint all over the eyepiece
Star Wars Episode II: Darth Maul and his many hobbies
Lucas: "I still don't see what's so damn funny through this lens.......waitaminute........WHO PUT ALL THIS MAKEUP ON THE EYEPIECE!!!?!?!?!"
Screw all that jumping around crap! Here's my chance to fulfil my life-long dream of filming Spaceballs: The Sequel!
If you look in here, you'll see you do look like a mutant sunburned hedgehog. Now will you put my arms back on? PLEASE?!?
Darth Maul decides to make a few bucks by pointing the camera at Natalie Portman's changing room.....
Darth Maul, still unaware of the COMPLETE plot of the film, tries to get Padme and Amidala on film at the same time
How the heck am I supposed to ride THIS?
Hey! Whose the HORNEY guy behind the camera???
Darth Maul eagerly looks into his new X-Ray Vision(tm) telescope, and points it towards Amidala's dressing room
That's right! with new Dance-o-vision, you don't need to go to dance classes anymore!
I know my double-sided lightsaber is in here somewhere...
help........HELP....... the oldest trick in the book the old "put super glue on the lence" very funn you guys HELP....... HELP.....
Guess who forgot that their "Eclipse Box" has to face the sun?
Does this cloak make my butt look big?
when you gotta go, you gotta go... but how?
New from Sithco. The all-new Jedi thought loudspeaker!!! Tired of letting your thoughts go unheard, don't put up with it again for only 25000 (no Republic credits please)
Oh yeah baby! Take it all off!
"Oh, that crazy Mr. Spock..."
"Oh, that crazy Mr. Spock..."
After having actually watched The Phantom Menace, the producers at 20th Cent. Fox decided that they couldnt really do any WORSE by firing Lucas and hiring a severed ex Sith stunt man turned actor!!
Before ever meeting Darth Sidious, Maul raised hell with his first and dearest mentor, Ansel Adams.
Wow! I did that?
Hmm? I don't see any naked women? Didn't you say there would be naked women on this thing?
Darth Maul: "Wow! A moving picture! What will they think of next?"
National Geographic Channel: This weeks show is on the diesease MAULARIA causes abnormal growth and people to stick their eyes in cameras
I`m never buying from wall mart again!
" there has to be a McDonalds around here somewhere "
I cant believe I fell for the jedi 'glue on the eye-piece' move.
alright!! Who's the wise guy that put superglue on the toilet paper?!
"Oh my God! Oh my God! It's a force of nature more terrifying than all the Sith put together! And it's coming right at us! It's... it's.... my GRANNY!
"Okay JarJar, I'll take the picture of you in front of beggar's canyon. Just back up a little, no a little more, keep going...."
Obi-wan-keboi
"Woohoo...look at the horns on that one."
A white shirt? Oh my god! Maul is turning to the light side!!
mom will love the picture of me slicing a jedi in half !
"What beautiful women? I don't see any beautiful women!"
youb nare gay
Ummm...guys? Can I get a hand here? I'm...ah...kinda stuck...
And here Darth Maul discovers Mr. Thomas Edisons "Dancing Lady" machine.
Anakin and Qui Gonn narrowly Escape by showing Darth Maul a Kelidescope.
A little known fact from Episode one was that Darth Maul was an avid Voyuer.
Ummm Mr. Lucas? I unserstand the makeup and the horns coming out of my head, but how exactly does having a camera glued to my eye make me a scarier villian?
While Anakin and Qui Gonn are at the Pod Races, Darth Maul does some preliminary placing work for his new Tattoonie summer home.
Darth Maul realizes the only way to get more screen time is to hijack the set. Since he has a double-bladed lightsaber, no one objects.
The Jedi are in here ??
Hey, is that Uranus. No, no wait, that's just Naboo
Oh, baby...yeah. Oooooo... a little to the left. I wish I were that luffa. (Ray finds the womens showers)
Wow. It really does look bigger in here!
"Hey..... how do all those tiny people fit in there?"
Darth maul, having never looked through a kaleidoscope before, was pleasantly surprised.
Jackie Chan desperately searches for the guy who stole his darth maul costume, before Lucas finds out. After all, it could cost him his job!
Hmmmm.... nice camera..... it would be a shame if something BAD happened to it!
Ok everyone.... Say cheese!!!
"Oh man.... I knew I shouldn't have left the keys in the Sith Infiltrator...."
"I can't believe I'm doing this . . . . "
Thinking that no one's looking, Maul plays a very unsith-like game...and cheats..."I spy with my little eye...*whispers* and a large camera...heh heh heh..."
...you can't hide in there all day obiwan...
I think I see the Jedi! Oh No! They're coming this way. I'd better put my shirt on!
The definitive answer... how Darth Maul traced the Jedi to Tatooine.
Dang these high tech monacles!
If I find the one who stole my clothes, I kill him !!!
(Darth Mauls soft side) Go Anakin! Yes Yes.
Yep, might as well relax, Sebulba is far in the lead...
Why would Anakin steal my cape?
Man, he sure looks stupid with that white shirt
Darth Mauls new disguise-"Yep, now noone will recognize me"
OH, SHOOT, THEIR GOING BACK TO THEIR SHIP!
Darth Maul takes over as director of Episode II
My yeallo contact fell out in that little hole,
Wheres my lightsabre? I bought two yesterday, where do they go?
Now where are those droids that I was looking for?
Darth Maul makes his directorial dubut in "Scum and Villainy", a vacationing advertisement for Mos Eiesly. He was told to stick with the Sith Lord thing...
Little did the Episode 1 crew realize how bad Ray Park's vision was. "Anyone see my lightsaber around here?"
DARTH MAUL TAKES A BREAK TO ADMIRE HIS OWN WORK.
Hey!! You guys said there were beautiful red headed girls in there!!
What happens when there isn't enough camera men.
Damn washing machine! First my socks and now this!
''hey what does this thingy.....ow, ow GEORGE, its stuck to my eye!!!''
Who put the superglue on the....oh for crying out loud...umm...a little help here, some help over here!
"I knew I shouldn't have quite being a Sith Lord- look where I am now. . . ."
Okay, Baby, pout for me, baby!!! Pout!!!
I can't help the fact that the burrito I ate last night was spoiled, they still didn't have to put me all the way over here.
BBBTHHTPPPHH!!!
"Riiiiiiiicolaaaaaaa!"
I'M GONNA' MAKE SURE THAT THEY GET MY GOOD SIDE...
Smile for the Camera Oby-wan and Qui-gon
"Okay Ewan and Liam... ready, AND kick one-two-three, turn one-two-three, glide one-two-three, now into the waltz... and SMILE, SMILE... arch your back more, Ewan."
Frosh week at the Sith Academy: "What? Where? I don't see anything...HEY! Ok guys, very funny...who put Crazy Glue on the eyepeice? Um...help..."
Darth Maul looks in on his new secret weapon. "At last we will reveal ourselves to those dimwits who rejected me in the Mr. Clean auditions. At least, we will have revenge..."
Parks accepts his new role behind the camera, but he still can't part with the horns.
*RiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiP!* "Uh oh."
Dang high tech toilet! Always clogging! Wait, I think somehting's coming up!
Having seen a gorgeous Sith girl while fighting Qui-Gon (which caused him to lose the battle & allowed the Jedi to get away), Darth Maul spies on her during his break using his powerful Sith telescope
Maul's on a break looking at the beautiful desert
Hey, You really CAN see the little birdie!!!
Is this the new TFN server?
Oh man.... I thought I could se those friggen jedi with this telescope
"My life stinks! My mom forgot to wash my black shirt again, and this new TV has a REALLY small screen!"
Hey Mr. Lucas... SAY EVIL!!!!!!!!
I can see the Oscars! Oh my god! I wasn't nominated!!! Now we will have our revenge. *Sound of the Oscar peoples throats being choked*
Hey, I've been jipped! The jawa that sold me these pod race tickets didn't say anything about needing a telescope to see the finish line!!
Ha ha i can capture the jedi by controling there every move!!
"Oooooo....pretty picture!"
Boy those Twilek Dancing girls are hot!
Boy those Twilek Dancing girls are hot!
Boy those Twilek Dancing girls are hot!
AHHHHHHH!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HEAD!?
Darth Maul uses the new tecnology at his disposal to intensify his search for Anakin and the two elusive Jedi. "When I find that little S.O.B. and those Jedi, I AM Getting my coat back damnit!!!"
"That's it, Obi, goood- now POUT"
"...I'm getting less merchandising than that CG freak?"
when is TFN changing these things?
Little did Darth Maul know, one of the crew had put black ink on the lens.
Sigh this isnt in my job descrption.
Park thought they wrote him out because he didn't see ne Darth Maul.
I KNEW I should have bought the new macrobinoculars instead of this piece of crap from the Jawas...
uh excuse em i have an issue to pick over here...how the hell can anyone write mini scripts as i've seen? i mean this space is limited and no where near enough...are they squashing the letters or some
I know I left the rest of my costume in here. Somewhere.
George, where are you....I'm waiting...
It was just after Darth Maul had set the five-second timer that he realized he might be looking through the wrong end of the Death Laser.
Before he became a Sith Apprentice, Maul was the leading director of the failed Universal Geographic special, "Cuddly Lizard: Tameing the Krate Dragon with Jawa Hugs."
Ok, I'll look, but you bastards had better not try that shoe polish on the eyepiece trick again!
Maul "Whoa, hey! It's Tattooine....in WIDESCREEN! Hang on...is that a matte painting?"
Cool! I can watch the pod race, practice my lightsaber skills, and even make plans for overthrowing my master with this VR simulater!
Coooool! Hey, George, I just blow-dried a puddle with this thing!
how many sand sunes are out there anyway...
how many sand dunes are out there anyway...?
"Hey, everybody, take a look at this! It's something called the "Oscars"...."
I can't find my contact lense!!!
"OK, sure I've been a Dark Lord of the Sith, and I made revolutionary advances in two-bladed lightsabers, but what I really want to do is direct..."
Whoah!! Hot desert chicks 12 Oclock
"All you people out there, trying to think of a caption for this picture, you will all DIE!!!"
Wow, Neeson's pretty good. Too bad I have to kick his ass...
"Oh lord, did I do that. Nah, must have been Ewan"
Ray Park filming the line into an LA theatre for the debut of Episode 1 back in May '99.
"Hey, that camera's got a Darth Maul on its ass!!"
Not many knew of Darth Maul's unfamous Brother, Bob Maul, Camera man of Destruction
Now Obi, lift your arm just a little higher. Padme, dear, smile please! Annie, I need you to kneel down a little. And Qui-Gon, your hair is in your face. Wait, hold it. . .that's perfect! Say cheese !
Little did Maul know that Sidious had stuck a "Kick Me" sign on the back of his pants.
cock
A-Ha! THAT'S where my cloak went! Chosen or not, I'm gonna strangle the little brat!
So where does the toilet paper go?
"Would you look at the buns that portman chick."
screw you
Darth Maul using his advanced sith toys to spy on women on the beach
Maybe I should wait till it's nightime to go stargazing...
(hillbilly's accent) "Heya bob, why is that horny man lookin at us?" "I dinno' Frank. Go get ma gun."
Long before the Sith became "extinct" they took a much more casual approach to "tracking down your lost ship"
the kd
"I inserted the quarter, but nothing came out?"
Maul:"Hey Guys can you give me a hand I seem to have somethinfg in my eye,"Crew members: "Naw man thats just sand get some water!" Maul: SAND???!!!!
What a great ass!
Maul:Where are those darn electrobinoculars when you need 'em?
Boy, does Natalie look good undressed!!!
OK, now all I have to do is angle the camera and then the movie will be the darth Maul movie and NOT the Phatom Menance
Maul movie and NOT the Phatce
It's no longer a mystery how Darth Maul recieved the black rings around his eyes...
NO YOU STUPID PROBE DROID! GET AWAY FROM THAT HUTT'S TAIL!!!
Lucas thought the old "shoe polish on the eyepiece" gag was a riot...until he realized his mistake
The first concept of the "sith macro binoculars" lacked the convenience that a sith lord wants when tracking jedi
Picture Picture is taking us to Tatooine, boys and girls
Another budget cut. What whas wrong with probe droids!!
UNNNNNGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love star wars
"Just let me aim this death ray..."
WHAT?! I DIE?! That's Bulls**t!!
"Are you sure those darn jawas weren't around here today ?"
"Don't get me wrong. Terrorizing the galaxy is fulfulling and all...but what I *really* want to do is direct!"
"Damn that Ewan McGregor is hot."
?
During a break in his tanning session, Darth Maul takes a moment to peep on the three breasted whore of Erotican VI.
"What does this little droid do?"
Ok, i can live with the horns, but a camera attached to my eye? Please, nobody will buy that!
By day he is a deadly sith, but by night he is a mild manard nature flimer.
I see london I see france I see Darth Maul's Underpants!
Hello...It there anyone in there???
"Darn! I was hoping I could see the Empire State Building from here, but no! The freaki
All darth maul wanted all along was a little video footage of how jedis lived!
"Darn! I was hoping I could see the Empire State Building from here, but no! The freakin' Jawas just HAD to come along and shrink the viewing binoculars..."
Darth Maul runs out of his dressing room to be violently sick after having that Vindaloo and Lager with Mr.Lucas.
"..I can't believe Lucas...this costume is horrid...I look like a darn jockey...he'll be sorry after I add footage of him singing like Liza Manelli in a pink tutu...hehe...how do you work this thing?"
"..I can't believe Lucas...this costume is horrid...I look like a darn jockey...he'll be sorry after I add footage of him singing like Liza Manelli in a pink tutu...hehe...how do you work this thing?"
"How do I gtet this #%@$ing Sith water fountain to work?!?!"
"And here is Darth Livingstone, who has been living in the desert of Tatooine for the past 6 months, searching for the elusive Spotted Jawa..."
Unfortunately, Darth Maul did not know about April Fool's day and pranks in general
With this film i can blackmail Qui gon
"OK, everyone ready? Say 'Sith' ."
*rock falls apart*-"Wow, didn't know the Force was that strong!"
I am having a bad day, first my tatoode body is coming off, then the dry cleaners didnt take a check, again... and now, they are filming the movie without me,, oh well, wait till i cut this part out..
Fed up with getting his butt kicked by Jedi, Darth Maul decides to pursue a career in filmmaking.
George's maniacal laugh is interrupted as he realizes Ray already has ink around his eye.
" Yeah baby, take it off."
Darth Maul prepares to fart.
Queen Amidala Peep Show
When Darth Maul isn't out slaughtering Jedi, he pursues his more artistic skills.
in his spare time, Darth Maul prefers a more traditional, casual outfit.
finally, george lucas takes his humanoid rubber mask off and continues work as a dark lord of the sith.
Whoa! Sbd!
Sooo....I guess it's only his head that's black and red.
At last we will reveil the porn of the Jedi, At last we will have our revenge.
At last we will reveil the porn of the Jedi, At last we will have our revenge.
Oh yes baby, your very gerr!, oh yes Darth Sideous you're an animal, you're like a hutt yes baby, and I'm spent!
"Yup, this is my better side. This brings out my teeth."
"Ok, let's film the podrace crash sceen again."
OK baby.... that's it.... take it off.... go ahea- huh, that's all I get for a quarter? Anyone got change?
I can see Queen Amidala's bed chamber from here.
After his unfortunate death, Darth Maul's Clone turns to filming his documentary: Darth Maul's Life, a whole beginning and a half end.
Say no to CRACK, buddy, JUST SAY NO!!
I knew he would fall for the old, Put your eye on the telescope! trick.
SHIT! There's ink on the end of this camera.
What Maul doesn't know is that Obi-Wan and QuiGon have ganged up on him...when he steps away from the camera, he'll have a black ring around his eye! Muhahahahaha!
Ladies and gentlemen... the man responsible for Jar-Jar Binks...
LUCAS(off screen) NO! You idiot! You put the megafone to your mouth!!!!
Maul couldn't find the Jedi with those probe droids, so he tried the zoom on this camera.
Ignoring warnings, Curious Maul continues peeking into a laser turret...for the last time
Baji
Are you sure you're not single? 'Cause I mean, you are sooo sexy.
I sure do hope some moron with a camera doesn't take this picture and put it on their web site. Nobody piss off the Maul Man today!
"Help, I've got something my eye here."
Now what is this...OW! My back is killing me!
Yeah come on take it all off...
Nice...Nice...I really like the ensemble...(not) I'M SUPPOSED TO WEAR THAT???? No way! You'll have to get Liam or Ewan to do Darth Maul 'cause I'm not!
Wow! Queen Amidala has some huge jugs!
"Hey!! There's no Hawaiian dancing girls in here!"
Man, she looks even hotter through these.
"Now where did I put that Mascara?"
Ricola!!!
YES! Padme is nude!
That punk Ewan. I bet he doesn't have to work as a cameraman between his scenes.
I still don't see anything, guys......guys?
Darth Maul accepted that the Jedi as a whole posed a threat to the rebirth of the Sith. But with this latest stunt, two of them had made it personal..."Superglue?! Gaaaaaaaaahhh!"
Darth Maul accepted that the Jedi as a whole posed a threat to the rebirth of the Sith. But with this latest stunt, two of them had made it personal..."Superglue?! Gaaaaaaaaahhh!"
Wow, this is one hell of a viewmaster!
"Are my hips THAT big?"
Damn! Another Jammed Ewok !
Man,I hope Natalie doesn't turn around!
I see Jake, I see Liam, I see George...oh look, it's Natalie. Hi Natalie!
Hey! you really can see the rings of saturn with this thing.
The real reason Darth Maul's head is black and not the rest of him.
"Hello in there!!! Hello!!! I'm lost in the dessert...can you help me??? Hello...?"
So! That upstart who is playing Maul-- what's his name?-- thinks he is the only one who can wear extreme makeup, eh? Well I'M the DIRECTOR! I can do ANYTHING!!
Danged Sith Probe Droids! Making me do all the work myself!
I knew it...I knew it! This thing makes me look so much fatter!!!
no get ready for the cum shot
AHHHH! Bloody Hell! One of my thorns on my heads stuck to this camera!
"Man, I hate looking for Qui Gon this way!"
"Look at all the pretty lights..."
Why do we Siths always have to do the hard stuff....
Well, duckie I know I look faqbulous but I hate this whole rippling muscles effect.
George???? where did you go.. I think im stuck here..I have a scene in2 minutes!!!
Damn! My red contact lens got stuck in the eye piece of this camera!
At last I will have revenge on the jedi i shall make look fat on the bigscreen
i see something, no thats just the desert
i see something, no thats just the desert
Darth Maul: Hey, why isnt this thing running? Man: maybe the electricity is out. Darth Maul: who supplies it around here, I want to get a new provider. Man: Where do you think you are, Pennsylvania?
Hey, look at this, it's nude pics of Natalie Portman!
Hey, this isn't a Sith artifact, Qui Gon-Jinn tricked me!
A backpain ?... Oooohhhh
Peep show... interesting...
Hope nobody catches me watching Pokemon.
Lord Maul watches the Jar Jar dailies prior to his lightsaber duel with Qui Gon Jinn.
am i really that sexy? gee.. i thought it was just me....
ive always been good at killing people, but what i really want to do is direct......
ive always been good at killing people, but what i really want to do is direct......
ive always been good at killing people, but what i really want to do is direct......
Ahhhh! I love a good peep show!
oooooh Yeh! Twilek dancers make me horny.
In a desperate atempt to cut down on costs, George Lucas will now be playing all major bad guys.
HOT MAMMA!!!!! That Portman girl is HOT!
At last Portman shall reveal herself to the camera, at last I shall have my pictures...
psst...hey you there droid. you see those two guys over there....
"Stinkin' mechanical replacements...when are they gonna invent Bacta already???
"Ok, ok, gotta look busy"
eeeuuuuwwww!!!!.... And you thought Jabba looked fat in the original trilogy!
Man, Lucas sure is a cheap @#@##$!
Darth Maul, taking a break to do his "other" evil thing, making tuskan raider pornos
"Master, my prototype Sith Mask"
Where is that silly Palpatine? He's been gone for hours. Oh....uh....wait....I....think I found him.........OOOOOH YEAH!!!
Darth Maul: Wait a second! Did one of you guys put black shoe polish on this! Sith Droids: Whee he ehe be bee!
"Hmm, I cant seem to find my top. Maybe it's in here?
So this is what those darned metichlorines look like.
So this is what those darned metichlorines look like.
So this is what those darned metichlorines look like.
OOOOOOOHHHHHH! This sand is sooo beautiful up close.
Yo! There they are! Screw those search bots!
Wow! look thats me! And then I pull the slider and Whoa! Me Again!
Where's my soap...
Little known fact: Like the Queen and Padme, David Tattersall and Ray Park are THE SAME PERSON!!!
Darth looks into the trick camera and only sees. . .his butt!!!!
Darth looks into the trick camera and only sees. . .his butt!!!!
Darth looks into the trick camera and only sees. . .his butt!!!!
I don't see any updates in the humor section through this thing
Darth Maul has been quoted saying, "Darth Sidious didn't say what I'd have to do to be called 'Lord' Maul!"
Man, thattai-bo sure is hard on your knees.
Maul: I think I can see the Humor Section Updates coming over the horizon, but it might just be a group of Jawas...
does my butt look big?
Excuse me...is that REALLY a Suzuki?
"So know, it says here that..."
obi2
Maul i told you not to look at those naked ladies
Thinking to self: Ya know this is a really bad position for a guy.
"Why did I get stuck looking for the missing port-a-loo?"
Hey Obi,how you doin'
Dang vaccuum cleaner rips the shirt right off ya every time!
"I bend over cuz I like to make poops"
wow. i can see my house from here.
"Darth Maul shows off his masculine Derierre while squatting in a wife beater" captioning at its finest.
Who made Yoda the DP?
On his days off, Darth Maul would dress like a frat boy peek into the Tatooine Sorority House.
What the?
Yes, George may be rich, but he could've at least paid for a comera crew
Cut! Your not supposed to do a good deed!
*moan*... the camera DOES add ten pounds!"
"Who needs those Sith probe droids when I've got Sithovision!"
we're gonna have to do this take again. he didn't get my good side.
...and slowly he crpet up with an axe raised high. Then all the sudden he took out his lightsabre and cut him in half! (Crowd): Ooooo
The first tests for the Sith-Bionic-eye
"Smile!... you're on Candid Camera!"
What am I doing?
Hey! Kenny!, Kenny Baker! Are you in there?!
I am never sticking my face in here again!
(Obi-Wan laughing out of frame: Hehe, I put shoe-cream on the lens)
Pfffffffffffft. Ah, now where was I?
Unsuspecting Darth Maul just before a male Bantha mistook him for a young female.
the new singer for the village people
Duhhhhhhhhhhh, I wonder whats in here, Duhhhhhhhhhhhh
"I really have no idea why I'm looking in this piece of crap. I guess I'm just bored. But Geeee golly I sure don't see anything special. I wonder if I'm even looking in the right end."
SIR HOW COME IM NOT IN THE SHOT(lucas) BECAUSE YOUR STANDING BEHIND THE CAMERA YOU IDIOT
SIR HOW COME IM NOT IN THE SHOT(lucas) BECAUSE YOUR STANDING BEHIND THE CAMERA YOU IDIOT
GEORGE AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK THAT FAT OH SORRY THATS YOU STANDING IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA
ALL I CAN SEE IS A STAR WARS MOVIE WHEN ARE WE GOING TO WATCH THE PORNO
AND ACTION (SHIT IM SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS SHOT) CUT
AND ACTION (SHIT IM SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS SHOT) CUT
"Well, it's working now, George. Look, why don't you just let me take over from here."
Dude, Ewan's got a BIG ol' zit on his nose! I wonder if I should tell him... Oh well.
Wow these new View Masters are great!
Darth Maul's secret life as a fashion photographer - Alright now work with me baby! Yeah, that's good! Now show me angry! Ohh, that's good. Now show me sexy! Oh, yes. Yes! YES! And I'm spent!
"Dreezel Drazzle Druzzel Drum, time for this Sith to come home."
RICCOLA!!!! RICCOLA!!!
Nottin like the old nickel players
Okay, Mr. Lucas. In THIS scene, YOU leap off the speederbike and try not to crack your head on the rock.
Hey, Bubba come take a look at this funny light!
Whoa...I didn't know they had this kinda stuff in Tunisia...and I was just using it as an excuse to show off my butt...
"I'm starting a rebellion. From now on, only good guys will be stupid enough to wear black in the middle of the desert."
Nice ass
Darth Maul, searching frantically for information on when the captions page will update. "Soon, we will have answers..."
I LOVE THIS NEW HORN SHARPENER...THANKS GEORGE!
Spoilers can be harsh: "Man I look cool in that fight - Oh yeah, die Jinn! .... what's this...? I DIE? By some wet-behind-the-ears Padawan brat? There is no justice in this universe!"
Ray Park sets George Lucas up for the old "black makeup around the eye-piece" gag.
RAY: Ok, I'll just pretend that I'm lookin' in this here camera thingy and....(pfffft)... oh yeah, that's better. Gotta lay off the burritos for lunch.
I'll kill 'em all if they have me sayin' "Did I really say that"! That is so corny! Man, why can't they just have me stand there glaring like I usually do!
Update the captions already! I'm sick of having words put in my mouth!
Darth Maul's not-so-evil twin, Joe, sights through the camera.
i wonder if they'll let me have a go on that miniture big wheel behind me
Ok George, go slower and use more lubricant.
I hope I don't get depants again....aww, you guys!
Oh my God... the humor section has been updated!
Been looking for 2 weeks and still no updates in sight.
I wish FEDEX would get those droids here soon. I can't find a thing with this telescope.
Oh wow, OH WOW Oh la la nice swimsuit you got there babe
even 2ics (2nd in command) need hobbys
Leia's mud wrestling Amidalla, tell me we're getting this!
James Cameron, on location.
Check out the ass on 3-PO
After recieving a new body, Darth Maul is no longer the same man. He acts just like the one from whom his body came, STEVEN SPIELBURG!!!
"You wanna mess with me?"
Maul- "I really need to get glasses."
Darnit, why didn't Sidious give me the hi-tech stuff?
Just a sec ..... Makeup! Whats this pink marck on my top horn for???
Does this pose make my butt look big?
Darth Maul trying to learn how to play golf.
Isn't there anyone out there like me?
Isn't there anyone out there like me?
Damn I look good!!!
This is like the coolest viewmaster yet!
Hey! This isn't Artoo-Deetoo, Dude!
maybe I can find that queen this way. . .
"I dont know yoda my horn looked kinda crooked there" "its ok darth i could see your butt i mean, Oh DAMN!!!"
DAMN GINA, I LOOK SEXY!!!!!!!
Oooh...Amadalicious!
"...and when Ray looks through the camera, the black paint will imprint a circle around his eye..."
Now that I look at these recording, I do have a big butt.
What do you mean my butt looks big on camera?
"Oh so THATS what i look like on film"
wtf happened to my horn?
gosh I really shouldn't have eaten those crab apples, ok gotta not look obvios, I'll just take a little look see in this here whole. I wonder what I'll see. yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
"Oh... so this is the end you're suppose to look through!"
This movie looks much better without that Maul guy...
No no no, Don't you Jedi know how to do anything right?
Before they invented probe droids...
Man... Even on camera I'm still short!
Yeah, right, like anyone'll really believe that Obi-Wan could off me like that. Oh well, you're the boss, George.
Mmmmm...porno...
Okay, baby, give it to me...yes, yes...you're a tiger, you're Tony the Tiger, give me a Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...yes, yes, yes...No, No!
Darth Maul's other hobby...wildlife studies!
...the camera man annoyed Maul a little too much.
Special Natalie Portman watching device...you can see her a mile away :)
The brand new long-distance Natalie Portman close-up camera...Maul gets himself VERY aquainted :)
Now in this scene, this is where you're supposed to put the thing in her... What are you talking about? I know she's had her shots!!!
After being defeated by Obi-Wan, Darth Maul decides to start a new career...
Thank you sir! May I have a take 2?
"Now that was a good move. Sometimes I amaze myself."
"I know the missing horn is in here somewhere!"
"I thught the horns made my butt look big, don't you?"
"*^#!@!Is THAT is how I look on camera!?"
ME
"Hmmm...Let's see...I wonder how well this new cam-oops...umm...hmmm...::drooling::It's the "Sith Boy" star sith!!!Now how do you turn this thing on?!?!?!?!?!?!"
"All riht George! From now on I'm runnin' this movie...I think I'll call it-"Darth Maul Episode 1: Darth Maul Rules".....Mwahahahahahahaha...."(I'm not saying i like Maul, he looks demonic)
"Okay, over a little to the left, Natalie."
Man, when are they going to update those captions? I've been looking everywhere...
So, if I look through this, I can see into Amidala's bedroom?
"This is how we put make-up on in space.
"They're right! The image IS fuzzy!"
Well, since my little wrist thingie borke, I guess I'm gonna have to use this.
Dangit George, i told you that vegas wouldnt look good in the background.
Just a little to the left Obi-Wan,....I cant fit you all in the photo, you'll have to pick up Yoda
man, i lost my quarter again. stupid machine keeps taking my quarters
Hey George, i think there's a little one of you in here. oh wait, this is a camera. ehe he, my mistake
Hey George, i think there's a little one of you in here. oh wait, this is a camera. ehe he, my mistake
darth maul: i think i put my lightsaber together wrong cause i got this
george i don't think this scene work for WHOA!! babe sighted at ten o'clock
what great shot? i can't see a thing. oh! this hefty bag was over the camera my bad
Hey' guys check it out...... Amedala left her blind's open!!!!
And now, showing sometime at a theater near you..."The Day the Force.net Was Finally Updated!" Estimated Release Date: May 2002
Darth Maul's lesser known brother Bubba Maul check the activity of his juri juice still.
Man, I wish they would send me my new probes. My back is killing me!!!
A little-seen image of Darth Maul taking the day off at the Podraces. Here, he suddenly realizes he won't win the bet he placed on Gasgano.
"Just a warning, My Lord - I had Taco Sith for lunch. Do NOT stand behind me."
RIIIICOLAAAAA!!!
When not zealously chasing Amidala, Darth Maul would relax with his Sith-bong...
Darth Maul - good with lightsabers, but bad at being inconspicious
"Hey, Lucas!! What happened to the scene where I killed Jar-Jar?? What do you mean 'the french love him?' Damn the french, I want to kill that SOB!!"
"Uh, somebody help? This droid is sucking out my eyeball. Help? Uhm, hello...?"
"Guys! You gotta see this! Put in a quarter, and Amidala takes it *all* off!!!"
"This is the toilet? How the hell do you use it?"
On his way to capture Amidala, Maul was caught speeding by the Hutt Patrol. Here, we see him with the breathalyzer droid, MD-20/20.
Machine: "Scanning retinal records"..... " Identity confirmed, welcome Dath Maul"..."Wait a sec,
Machine: "Scanning retinal records"..... " Identity confirmed, welcome Dath Maul"..."Wait a sec, DARTH MAUL. Sound the alarm, guards,guards!!! DathMaul: Oh crap.
Seeing that he got killed off, Darth Maul slices George Lucas in half and ttakes over as director of the rest of the prequels.
Da**! I'm pregnant!
Hey, I can see my house from here!
Smile, You're on Candid Camera!
"The taxation of Trade Federation routes? Man, this movie sucks!"
"Why was this camera pointed at my.... Oh I see."
Doing a special appearance as Ray Park, Darth Maul had to color his arms like a human...
"I don't SEE any thing, lets' go look some where else."
"I hope she doesn't close the blinds!!"
The Backstreet Boys song "Everybody"-"Everybody.. ya...move your body..ya..Everybody move your body right...The Siths are back ALRIGHT"
How the heck am I supposed to see through this, this thing?!
DAM!!! I'M GOOD
Oh, man, shouldn't have had those beans...
Darth Maul
This is way better than those damn electrobinoculars
Where are they? .......Ah, there they are. Come on Sebulba, Go Sebulba!! Man it is hot out here!
I still can't see it!!! It's just not there!!!
Say Cheese!
Now where did I put my favorite Sith cape?
What was my line again?
I have sand in my shoes, gimme 5 minutes Mr. Lucas.
r
Why don't they have porta-potties in the desert?
*GRUNT*
Did I do that?
Woops, wasn't me!
Wow, Look at those Twi'lek chicks
Hey, Sidious! Check it out! I found the Amidala nudes that started all that fuss last year!!
You mean if I look thru here I see the Ocean? (As he looks up, everyone sees a Blue ring around his Eye) What are you all Laughing at???
"Some help over here! One of my horns is stuck in the viewfinder!"
Maul: Hehehee.. the dancing jedi's...
Darth Maul: Those Jedi-Knight's won't stand a chance when I give 'em the good old "evil eye"!
Smijo Riwil
I that you haven't had you're coffee yet, Mr. Lucas, but...
well george this shot just isn't evil enough no i want to kill Oui Gon over here ok
Yep! i love a good peep show
It was at that point Darth Maul decided to start using macrobinoculars. For efficiency purposes...
This better not suck as much on the big screen.
In the early days, Darth Maul's probe 'droids weren't nearly as sophisticated . . .
I am a stupid huy who is bending over. There is something in my butt!!!!
The true identity of the Camera Guy
God! Im bursting for a crap! Lets see if I can spot a toilet in this desert!
I can see right up Natalie Portman's skirt!
Now a little to the left. That's it. Now Obi-Wan, put your hand on Anakin's shoulder. Perfect! Say Cheese!
New theory Darth Maul is really GL!
Finally, this'll let me see why they call me "Horny"
So, innocent fools, does my bum look big in this
If I stop looking through this thing, and find ink round my eye im gonna be really annoyed
Guys, Guys get over here, you can see right into Queen Amidala's changing room.........oh yeah
"Okay, Lucas, I'll let you try out my saber...careful..." Lucas: "YAAAAH" Maul: "ouch"
Football referees sure have been dressing strange ever since they brought back instant replay.
Say Cheese.
Now we will have our revenge for "Return of the Jedi."
The real director of the movie
give up your arms or ill blast you with my flash photography
Hey, cool, I can see far away! Oh, whoops, I got some red and black makeup on the lens, here let me just wipe it... oops. Um, I'll just be going now.
this thing makes me feel realy HORNY!
"How do you work this new turbolaser?"
where are those damn jedi's???
"Does this shot make my ass look big!"
I don't see any naked woman....
It was all fun and games for the crew when Park fell for the old "shoe-polish-on-the-eyepiece-gag" for the fifth time since noon.
For the first five minutes as Park searched for the naked woman, the crew couldn't stop laughing. But after three hours of his "Where is she? I don't see her..", the fun fell through.
Kiss my ass then smell my farts!!
"Right George I'm ready for that probe now!"
do you think my bum looks big in this?
'no maul your meant to talk into it'
It was then that Darth Maul decided he was wasting his life away as a Peeping Tom and left Tatooine to go start an apprenticeship under Lord Sidious.
bet my cameras bigger than your camera
ohh how i love to spy on the padme when she is showering
OK... who's the joker who put superglue on the eye piece...
"Oh, is that the backside of a bantha? You can really see close up with this thing. Hey? What's he doing? Oh, I think I'm going to hurl!
This endoscope won't hurt too much, will it?
Very funnyl, super-glue, when I get this off, I'm gonna kick ass Liam!
Looking through my Jed-eye
The good ol
The good ol' paint around the lens gag . Gets them every time!!!!
"Hooray! I get to be cameraman today!"
I just gotta take a crap!
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I needed that!"
"Look - I know George likes dwarfs and midgets and other small people but this time he has gone too far! I need a f**king telescope to see this guy!"
Hehehe Nice girls...WooWOOwOO!!!
Bad Maul, No Doughnut!!!!
While on vacation, Darth Maul decides to take a few home movies
if the trace was correct they should be right about......
if only i had listened to sidious when he said, "hey, i think those probe droids are busted."
Apple-Think Different
Sexy Man, Sexy Man!!!
Man, I hope Lord Sidious doesn't find out that I've strayed from my black and black color skem.
Do I *really* look like that on camera!?
The Jedi are over there somewhere....Ah,I can see them! Die Jedi Scum!
So, is this just point and shoot? Darn these infernal instamatics!!!
These sith probes Darth Sidious provided are more cumbersome than I imagined, neither wonder we can't find the Jedi
"What the H@!! is this?!"
"It's bad enough having horns in your head, but now I've got a dam camera stuck in my eye"
and they decided to keep maul's ink-black eye in episode 1...
liam neeson's trailer in sight. we will have our revenge. FIRE!!!!!!! haha young padawan!!!
Stupid drier shrunk my robes so small I need a microscope to see them!
On the set George Lucas divided his time between directing and playing Darth Maul.
Darth Maul in his Television directing debut. "When Siths Attack!"
Check out the babes at ten o'clock!
Oh, Man, there's nothing to photograph out here but SAND!!
" I SEE DEAD PEOPLE! "
"I don't care what you say, I am keeping these pants." -Ray Park, on location.
Lord Maul, be mindful. Let them make the first move.
"You sat on Yoda again." "Well hurry, quick, get him off!"
He thought he was safe... he never did drop the soap...
"What? What?! I can't see anything!" Little did Ray Park know they had just inked the eyepiece - even worse he couldn't get it off before he shot his big scene He didn't find it so funny nor did Lucas
I knew I should'nt of eaten those Yari Beans for dinner last night!
Something is missing. Oh Crap! I'm supposed to be in that scene!
Why those Sunsets are lovely George!!!
Now, Sidious kills Yoda..yes...excellent...no Ewan, none of the good guys live....
Target in sight!!
Here's lookin' at you, kid
Wha? What's this? Some sort of machine?----oh! A girly show!
"Before Holonet"
I hope that Natalie Portman is lookin right now.
I hope George can see my butt is in FULL shape and quit telling me what to do.
Good. I can finally see through this huge one frame shot camera. Al right, everyone, get in the picture. By the way, Qui-Gon, I have to kill you eventually.
"Watto! You lie! I Can NOT see Oola!"
Is It Just Me Or Does This Camera Make Me Look Fat?
now lets watch that kick ass fight seen again
mechster@blademail.net
I guess Lucas needs me for Episode II after all.
How Darth Maul spends his spare time:Watching ROJ and zooming up on Leia in her metal bra. Darth Maul Thinking: "I swear you can see her butt..i just know it..plz say she's not wearing any underwear."
Sheesh, you need Jedi reflexes to do this!
God, you guys are bloody slow
O.K............who put frickin superglue on the eyepiece !!!
Yeah baby, yeah...........work with me.............you are Tony the tiger ..........grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!!
The reason why Maul is black around his eyes.
oh my god! i see what the butler saw
Which damn handmaiden is that? Eirtae? Sabe? Sache? Bejeesus, when we'll get Padm??
Hello
Ahhh! Hmmm.....*sigh in relief* I think noone noticed the smell...
This airplane food goes right through you!
Ooooohhhhhhhhh that felt good.
Just a little to the left.......that's it now spin for me beautiful ,beautiful.....you Obi-wan you should have really become a model.obi-wan:ya really think so
"Hmmm, my butt DOES look big in these pants!"
Boy, is it hard to secure a new job after being cut in half.
Why didn't somebody tell me ass was so big?!
Maul:...I know it's hard to be my stunt double, but you can do it George.
Having sliced George into millions of small pieces Darth Mall decides to take the Star Wars movies in a new direction, one in which he is allowed to wear clothes more befitting a desert envirionment
Under it all Darth Mall was only a horney Human with a rare skin disease (luckily he let the camera take shots of his nose, unlike another famous celeb also with a skin problem)
" Hey, it's Pamela Anderson! HELLOOOOOOOOOO NURSE!!!"
Hmmmmmmm....
i can do anything! if it's in a book, just take a look, reading rainbow.....
...and now boys and girls, let's take a look and see what's going on in the Land of Make Believe...
MY BACK!!!!!
"Let's see here .... sand, sand, and lots more sand. Yup, it's all there.
Hey, George is right, I CAN'T act!
"This is the worst kaleidescope I've ever seen!"
Darth Maul,Peeping Tom- the inside story, next.
Look at the size of that thing!
"At last, I shall have revenge against those who glued me to the camera!"
*Riiiipppp* Whoa dude, check out Maul's boxers!
I dont like how i looked in that robe Ineed new clothes
"S...I...T...H..." "Very good, Mr. Maul, now the next line down on the eye chart, please."
Goddamn superglue....help!!
After successfully acting in Star Wars Episode I, Darth Maul confidentally moves on into the movie business of filming.
I know that jedis out here somewhere
Its hard work on the set of Star Wars the Porno
Ray, I'm the director! Said George, "But you scare me so u take over"
Most people don't realize that Ray Park REALLY DID grow horns and tattoo his face so he could play this role ...
Is my hair alright?
For Maul inserting contact lenses wasn't that simple
Stop being such a coward, Qui-Gon Jin. Come out and fight me like a man.
"Uh, George... I really don't think this prosthetic eye is going to work..."
Darth Maul, porn director, on the set of his latest film: Horny Sith
Lord Maul prepares for a lightsaber duel by watching the Jar Jar dailies.
MAUL: What a strange kind of urinal!
MAUL: aw man! who put the paint on this!?!?! MCALLUM: hmmmmmmmm,
He he...those chicks sure do wear little on such a HOT planet!
No George, the sith binoculars are much more practical
I think it's time to up-grade to macro-binoculars. I can't find Jedi with this!
kick him in the nads Bevis!
ok over to the right now...kick him in the nads Bevis! heh heh yeah that's a rap
Man, even when I'm not in the shot, they know I'm hot!
Attention! Darth Maul will not die in the end! Instead, that brat Anakin will get blown to smithereens! It'll be so wizard!
"DAMN CAMERA, DOESN'T EVEN WORK"
DARTH MAUL DIRECTING HIS NEW MOVIE "SITHS IN THE SAHARA".
no mr. lucas... you can't play me in this scene, you're too............................obese. FIRE ME??!??! I'LL KICK YOUR @$$
no mr. lucas... you don't look fat through this camera. the other ones must be possessed..
"All right, CUT! No, not in half. That's my job."
ummmm......WHAT IS THIS THING?????
Hey if I look into this thing..........Whoa I Knew I Shouldn't Have Had Those Eggs For Dinner
"Hi, I'm Darth Maul, and when I'm not busy killing people or looking really mad, I'm busy filming the wildlife of North Africa. You are watching TheForce.net.
Why didn't Lucas just let me die?
"Gotta make sure the light is right when the film my good side"
Hey! This thing just sucked my cape off!!
With this bad ass trade fed. gear, i can spot any Jedi fiddling with his "lightsaber" from 12 parsecs.
"Woah.. the camera really does add 10 lbs"
At last Pamela Anderson reveals herself
something must be wrong with this camera, I AM NOT THAT FAT!
Oh... I thought I was starring in Pirates of Penzance...
hi
Darth maul was a sith with years of training, and killed th emaster Qui Gon, but that didnt matter to him. No, his dream was simple: He wanted to direct!
God damn it, I'm supposed to be on vacation, BUT NO!!!!
"My new spy cam had better help me find the idiots who stole my outfit!"
@'-'@
"Maul watches a nickelodeon of Jack kissing Rose's hand. 'Hmmm. I'll have to remember that one!'"
"Maul watches a nickelodeon of Jack kissing Rose's hand. 'Hmmm. I'll have to remember that one!'"
"Maul watches a nickelodeon of Jack kissing Rose's hand. 'Hmmm. I'll have to remember that one!'"
Wow! Look at those horned babes!
uhh...Mr. lucas.....I don't see my self in Episode 2..?!??
...man, my ass looks huge!
"they us
"George is slipping, the fans aren't going to believe this is sand."
"George is slipping, the fans aren't going to believe this is sand."
um.............
Ok... WHO PUT SUPER-GLUE ON THE VEIWFINDER AGAIN?
"man with a 150million dollar budget ya think Lucas could hire more crew members."
"yeah work it baby!" "thats it sell it George sell it."
"k Nat. time for your nude scene."
Sithspawn! Now everyone knows it's not a full body tatoo.
I hope Lord Sidious doesn't see me out of uniform
As Darth Maul looked out onto the sandy plains of Tatooine, he realized that he would have to don his evil black cloak in order to fight the Jedi, for, alas, it was not casual Friday at Sith Inc..
Hey! Who the heck is directing this movie?
The Truth is Out(there)!George Lucas id Darth Maul!
The Truth is Out(there)!George Lucas is Darth Maul!
Hey guys, if you look through this camera the movie looks great, OH wait, this is the original Star Wars.
"I need to get better probe droids"
Park: So, George...we meet again. We we last met, I was but an actor. Now I am the director!
Holy Shit!! That guy's small!!
Hmm.....Ewan really does have a cute butt....Crap! now I owe Liam five bucks!
Stupid Sith cutbacks...
Bend over? Look in the little box? Hey, what are you doing with that big pole?. . . Cold, I sense cold!
I couldnt find the macrobinoculars, but this'll do just fine....
Thats it! Show me love. Work it, work it!
It's turning Blue! It's turning BLUE! I'm going a FATHER! Did you hear that Shmi your gong to be a MOTHER!
In my version of Star Wars Episode I I will Win! Ahahahahaha
"I can see my house from here"
WOW! the camera does make jabba look fatter!
It sure is windy out here. HEY, NATALIE! NICE SKIRT!
WOW! I didn't know that i will be destroyed...WOW??? OH NO
Suddenly Darth Maul got worried at the sound of a Jawa putting on a rubber glove
Heh-heh! So much for U-571!!
So THAT'S a midichlorian!!
"I can se right down that woman's top from here"
"i'll give you 5 bucks if you go a little further!"
He said i would be a sith lord some day but nooo... im just a gofor boy and on very rare ocation do i get to run his spy stuff
Darth Maul discovers just what kind of coverage his insurance provides for glasses.
Wait! what is Chewbacca doing in this movie oh wait a minute thatsgary one of our stage hands i'm sorry
Oh crap, were did those stupid drodes go?
Darth Maul in the newest Gap commercial, "everybody in SITH"
"Soon my cloths will come back from the dry cleaner, soon my revenge will be complete!"
Hey Jerry, what are you talking about, my shoes aren't untied! Jerry? Jerry?...
I dunno George..are you sure you'll catch my good side
"And now our host, Darth Maul." "Hi kids, do you want to learn about what we call a 'peeping tom'?"
Hopefully with the money from this picture, I can get this tatoo finished....
"Damn Superglue!"
Yes! Padme's left her blinds open again!
Maul checks the viewer for the latest TheForce.Net Humor update.
What Darth Maul really did when waiting for his probe droids to return.....
What Darth Maul really did when waiting for his probe droids to return.
"Well I'll be..the camera does add 10 pounds"
"I found them master!"
Maul decides that THIS camera angle will show his best side during saber battles?
All my probedroids have one day of...damnd... I must search the area "oldschool"!
Oh man... why can't I marry the Queen?
ALL RIGHT! WHERE DID GEORGE HIDE THE COOKIES?
If i have a dark circle around my eye your all dead!
(someone off screen) Hey Ray, look through and check out the chicks! (ray) O yeah baby take it off! WAIT! GEORGE!! GET OUT OF MY TRAILER!!!
You now it was a bad burrito when you have to take you shirt off to get rid of it!
hey! this thing ate my evil jedi robe! give it back! don't make me mad, that's what Qui-Gon did and look how he ended up!
Maul: Nope, I still can't see the update.
Darth Maul, previewing the long list of captions that have been put in his mouth by hundreds of theforce.net fans
Cool man this is the best that it ever will be and ever was
Must... catch... my... breath... Darn it, I guess us stunt doubles for Sith Lords should stay in shape!
Darth Maul. Sith Lord by night. Film director by day
nope, those marshmallow peeps aren't cooking any faster in here.
nope, those marshmallow peeps aren't cooking any faster in here.
I can see my house!
YEAH, I'll be there in a sec -- Oprahs' got John Gray on.
This little band of ragtaggle ants is like a family to me *sniff*
"Damn Jawas ... This eye-licking droid is a lemon..."
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY I look fat on camera!
Another ring around the eye and I'm set.
The Filming of Star Whores Episode I: Darth Maul gets Horny
"What does this button d-"
As Darth Maul peered into what he was told was a kaleidoscope, the crew members made off with his robes as an April Fool's day prank.
Ray Parks: "When George finds out that onscreen his butt is larger than a Sandcrawler, he'll kill me for filming this."
Reckless RIck
"Hey Lucas, your on candid camera!"
" I see yoouuuuuu!"
Hey, where are the girls?
"Let's see...that guy gets paid more then me..that guy..and that guy..that guy too!..dangit!
"Hey, I work at McDonald's too!"
"Hey, wheres the reactor button on this sucker?"
(voice over of Robert Redford): "And here we see him observing the habits and behavior of the rare, "Wild Jedis"
"OK...who put glue on the lens!?!"
Maul:"Ok tell me how I look..Anything like Lucas? Man: Spare the horns and tatoos sir, spare the horns especially!
"I'm not feeling the love people!"
"ACTION!"
"Man, I haven't seen something scince... well...you get the picture."
This is Darth Maul's clone, fired for mooning George Lucas.
"Let's see if I can't gas that young anakin behind this rock...."
"Wow, I've never really taken the time to look at Tatooine from this point of view! It's so beautiful.... and......" (notices people looking at him) "Um.... oh, I mean that... uh... Geeze, is it hot?"
Alright Mr. Edison, the phonograph is fine...but this other invention...I think I liked my face better before.
"Mr. Lucas! i got my eye stuck in this protocol robot..."
Whoa thats some hot action!
Due to extreme budget cuts George Lucas will now be performing the parts of all major villains in the prequels. In fact these same budget cuts limited the Sidious/Palptatine disguise to be a hood.
only darth maul could fall for the old "shoe polish on the eyepiece" gag and come away unscathed
Darth Maul checks for clogs in the laser cannon
If the blocking was correct, I will film them quickly, Master.
Ha! I knew Rick was cutting back on the production budget and pocketing teh money
ok you'll have to line up drettotctly, thats it now you'v got to get a running start and give me a good running swift kick in the BUTT!!!! ok Lets try it now, 1....2....3............................
THE MOST evil sith tool EVER!!!!
Okay, in this shot I get to kill all the jedis and I GET to rock the casbah with Amidala. Wait, she's fourteen? Damn, O.K. I'll settle with that twi'lek chick.
Poor Darth, with that tatooed face, he doesn't have a chance with gorgeous Natalie, so he can only look from afar...
The Camera Really does add 10 pounds!
Ray Park, tired of being beaten and bruised in fight rehearsals with Liam & Ewan, decides to try his hand at being a cameraman.
Alright who p;ut the super glue on the eye piece
During a break in filming, Darth Maaul indulges in his passion for birdwatching
Mr Lucas was out of control with his extra strong superglue...
you know your getting old when you lean over and make funny noises
I this the right end of the camera?
Wow!
Jake Loyd: Mr. Lucas !!!! Ray is mooning me again !!!!!!
Jake Loyd: Mr. Lucas !!!! Ray is mooning me again !!!!!! George : Thats it !! Both of you to your rooms!
"ACTION!"
Lucas "no no no, this isn't what I meant when I said I wanted horns on his head
These flippin' contacts! George! where the f*ck are you? George?
BBLRRRRPP! Ahh... that felt good!
Boy! Gotta see how THIS ends!
Too much sith beerrrrrraarghhh!
They told him in prison not to drop the soap. They told him in filming not to look down into a camera...
Let's see...mmmm...a bantha, a slave, a Jedi, a Podracer, a droid, George Lucas...
It stuck!!!!!! Hey! That's not fair! You can't come up behind me with your lightsaber now!
(setting: the duel of fates hole) maul) "Group picture now obi wan and qui gon move a little to the right a little more a lot more..." obiwan and gui gon " ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" (maul) hehe
Where's the "ON" switch
Ray Park in Darth Maul attire, checking the angles on the Tatooine fight set.
"Look you stupid little probe droid....give my cloak back!!
"Maybe this will lead me to the cretin who stole my robe!"
Hey...its an episode 2 trailer!
Hey...its an episode 2 trailer!
Mr. Lucas wearing the latest in Sith sunscreen
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII sssseeeeeeeee yyyyooooouuuuuuu!!!!!
Episode 2 marks the return of Anakin, Obi-Wan, Queen Amidala, and the Ewoks!
Let's see what happens to me in the next scene! WHAT!?! I GET KILLED OFF?!?! BY THE GUY FROM TRAINSPOTTING?!?!
Does my bum look big in this?
Hey! Who put boot polish on this eyepiece!
after spending his early years take kiddie photo at the local Tatoonies Mall, this young man decide on a career change
Ha ha!! I love the part when Qui-Gonn DIE!!!
I can see my house with this thing...
So this is how Maul's makeup was done.
Darth Millennium
"I wish I could find my electrobinoculars, but for now this will have to do."
you can see the pub from here!!
hmm interesting, tf.n humor section. Hey wait they havent updated for 2 months!
Its a Sith probe droid - but not as we know it
Hey, is that Natalie??
Ok, who put the paint on the eye piece???
*FART* Oh crap, that was a juicy one.
lights,camera,action
Today on Wild Tatooine, our operative in the field will be...uh... observing two wild jedi knights and, rarest of all, a chosen one and future sith master.
At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi, at last we shall have an oscar.
Hey! Look! There's two suns!
Darth Maul: My cool high tech probe droids break and look at what I'm stuck using! A stupid telescope! Grumble grumble grumble... and Darth Sidious forgot to clean the lens!
This camera is sparsely populated--if the trace is correct, I will find my lightsabre quickly, my master.
To show my true devotian to the Dark Side I have implanted this piece of filming equipment to my head, beat that Anakin.
"Okay, Qui-Gon, Amidala's hair is blocking your face, okay, I see you now. Anakin, move it a little. Okay, great! Everyone say CHEESE!
oh yeah baby lets see those skirts fly up!
"And I always thought jedi wore something under those robes!!"
Ooo ya baby take it off for daddy! wooo!
Hey, shes taking her top off. . .yeah baby. . .come on. . .just a little more. . .nobodys watching
I can see my house!
oooh yeah, that's it ooooh baby.....George
oooh yeah, that's it ooooh baby.........George!!!!
oooh yeah, that's it ooooh baby.........George!!!!
Gimme a D! Gimmie an A! Gimme a R! Gimme a.....ummmm....well, I was never very good at spelling. Hey! Quit laughing at me! *takes out lightsaber, slices camera man 2 in half* Now, where was I?
"Now let's see... I attacked him, we fought, he disappeared... wait wait wait. Where did that ship come from?"
padme
An avid fan spies on Episode II filming
ooo! baby take it off for daddy! just a little more, oh ya there we go!!!!!!
Wow!! With this thing I can see right through Natalie Portman's kimono
Wow!! With this thing I can see right through Natalie Portman's kimono
'Darn, those cheap Trade Federation pobe droids
Has Anyone Seen my Face!
Now what is this machine suposed to do again?
Casual Day in the world of the Sith.
How do you work this thing?
"it needs to go a little bit to the left, to get my'good' angle
Darth Maul desperatly looking for a porta potty in the vast and sandy desert of Tatooine.
Darth Maul takes time out to catch up on his hobby: Filming the mating ritual of sand people.
He's Lettin' Loose!
George Lucas's ultimate bad hair day.
Hey, Ewan, would you hand me the superglue solvent?
C'mon Amadala, you gotta come outta that shower, soon...
[Darth Maul] . o O ( Man, how long are they going to make me stand here with my tail sticking out and my face glued to this dratted camera? This is ridiculous! )
*WOW* The Nubian look pretty cool in the camera
hay look at this the TFN humor seon has been updated... WOW
I hope at this angle they'll get a good shot of my Sith Ass
Ray Park was told this was the device that put on those special lenses
I see England. I see France. I see Qui-Gon's underpants!
George Lucas' decision for directing Episode II was not a pleasant one. Sitting in for him will be none other than the notorious Darth Maul.
"Ahah! The three moons of Tatooine are unusually bright today!"
Where's Natalie? Ahh, there she is...now to use the Force to remove that robe...
Fox's new special: When Directors Turn Evil.
"And this, Lord Sidious, is my latest incredible device to find Qui Gon: you look inside here, you see where they are!!!
Damn that natalie.... She's friggin HOT!!!!
MAN!!! Look at Natalie with this thing! I want to be a camera man!
Before he got his breakout role in Episode 1, Darth Maul was forced to take the second job of a lowly cameraman just to support his wife and three kids.
"Move back a little more. A little father. Keep moving back." "Aghhhhhhh!" "Perfect. I always love pictures of people getting swallowed into sand pits"
Darth Maul: "OK, wher'd the Jawas go? They were supposed to be in the final number. Where are my Jawas?!?"
Darth Maul finally saw what a big butt Obi-Wan had!
guy off screen"Don't hold your face close to that" guy looking at the object"Wha.... OUCH!"
I am diplaying my butt! anyone looking hello!
It was only a matter of time until the Sith ran out of money and had to convert to large binaculars and hanes shirts.
come on gils
come on girls'n'boys harder faster
God, I hate black people
Stupid probe 'droid . . . always breaks down in hot weather!
"Can you see anything up my butt? Cos I'm sure that little Anakin a**hole shoved one of those lightsabre heads up there
"Can you see anything up my butt? Cos I'm sure that little Anakin a**hole shoved one of those lightsabre heads up there"
"In the future, in a galaxy far, far away, they will have smaller cameras"
"Has any one seen my other (contact) lens?"
My back hurts...."WAHHHH!"
Ohh the pain...the agony..the humanity of it!!!!!!!
Finally you get to see who was REALLY behind the camera in the Blair Witch Project...muhahaha
GL: "Umm..what are you doing?" Maul:Well your going to kill me in the next scene so I decided to film it myself..GL: But how can you film yourself?..Maul:Umm...good point....GL:Sorry..no clones today!
Darth Maul bends over to look through a super telescop for his lightsaber, unaware that a group of Jawa's are sneaking up behind him .......
Sorry for the disappoint ladies, but unfortunatly, I didn't have enough to complete the tattoo. Hmm, maybe if I could sell this camera...
Am I still here??
I said I wanted fries! Is this thing on?!
I swear I'll never drink again!!
Lucas "Dont forget to wear your suncream, bad sunburn!"
...safety.............ah.........that smells funny!
Easy...easy...easy on the back. Whoa, what do we have here?
Maul hones his rage on another of his master's missions; "What do you mean I have to hunt down and destroy all the ants...oh, those are people. Yeah. Getcha."
That's it Amidala, work with me baby!
Hey Hey I saw that. Knock it off!
Work it...work it...yeeeaah baby!
You want me to put this where?!?!
This is the oddest way to apply makeup I have ever seen
Another sucker for the old "Show Girls in the box" gag...
does my bum look big in this???
"Duh, what's this button do?"
Maul's part-time job as a technical maintenance supervisor
"Ok ..now George...you have to do a back flip and kick Ewan...oh...wait....oh my god....MEDIC!"
Darth Maul tested out the new C13 Optician Protocol Droid.
The 'Blacking the Eyepice' gag was popular throughout the galaxy....
Cool! Blazing saddles!!
I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Maul!
To save money, George Lucas decided not to hire Professional cameramen, and just use Ray Park.
Ok boys lets do it one more time, and this time the hydralic catapult will go off! Right?
This is where George attempts to feel the character.
"Do I look fat in this movie?"
take 5/cut scene: While in the filming of episode 1, Darth Maul offered to film one scene but he accidentally stepped in the way of the mirrors on set.
while playing back all of his hard work, Darth Maul had to marvel at his moves and say "dang i look good"
George Lucas, in an attempt to "bond" with his characters, goes a bit two far on the set of Episode II
Jedi Master Nate
"Hey guys, I can see Uranus!"
"Damn!! I left my ellectrobinnoculars in my coat! Ah well.. I'll just have to use this primitive whatchyamacallit...
I'm warning you, guys -- if I have black makeup around my eyes when I look up, someone's gonna be bantha fodder!
"Hey, goerge, you're right! Natalie doesn't lower the shades in her trailer!"
we take a look behind the scences of Brittany Spears' new video..oops..
Darth Maul gives up life as a Sith Lord in order to pursue his true passion - photography!
"Quick! someone light a match then ill show you the force in action!"
"Did you know you can see the parking lot from...Hey, I don't care if he is palying Anakin, get that kid away from my car!"
"Very Funny! A gag lens that when I put my eye up to it makes my face red and black."
"Oh yeah, thats it...take it off babe...DAMN! Anyboby got another quarter?
ok, who put glue on the eye piece again?!?
Ray Park: "I can't believe Natalie left her dressing room window open!"
he he he...
"Okay now Everybody - lights on , cameras ready , lightsabers in hands , oh - wait - CRAP - i didn't know that i die at the end of the movie ! I will have Revenge !
Does my bum look big in this?
While waiting for his seeker droids to find Queen Amidila, Darth Maul has a perfect oppritunity to work on his independent film, "Banthas in the dust".
In his spare time Darth Maul is a peeping tom
In his spare time Darth Maul is a peeping. tom
Hmmm, the cow does say moo
Hey Obi-won, You gotta see this, the queen is stripping!!
If I use the force, maybe I can make this thing work better!
Will this thing really help me find my Sith Cloak?!?
Their on Tatoonie.
Gee, George, you're right, this camera DOES give you a good view of the Sith Ladies' dressing room
"Sorry,but I'm just not feeling the love people! Take four hundred and five!
First scene,Act One, Episdode 501.
Damn it. Sidious always has ME doing the stupid jobs! grrrrrrr
"Every step you take..every pod yourrace..every single day..every step you take..I'll be watching YOU---
Fan in Background:See! This is where he's sucked through the lens to a magical underwater kingdom!...Friend: No way! Thats soo Wizard!
Thankfully in the future man(or something like it..er..) created glasses....
Hey! How long am I supposed to stare at this thing before I see it? I mean, I've been here twenty freakin' minutes and all I can see are these damn spots! Baahh... 3D image, my a**!
Everyone Wants To Direct
I still say a nudity would help this scene
Check out that girl's bongos about a 100 yards from here!
Seconds later Mr. Park was seen with a black ring around his eye
ICE BERG RIGHT AHEAD!!
Don't look at my ass
"..not as clumsy or random as a Handycam, an elegant camera for a more civilised episode"
"I knew there had to an easy way to find those Jedi and it's much cooler too.
Woohoo! Look at dem titties
Somedays I wish I would have stayed in Astronomy school like my dad wanted....
Lucas this, Lucas that.... this job ain't so hard.
"That's it George... a little to your left. That's it. Man it's hard to find good actors now-a-days." -Ray Park, Director
Being a Dark Lord of the Sith also requires a lot of intellectual work. Here, Darth Maul views recordings of Qui-Gon's previous fights, hoping to gain an advantage should they meet.
I think I dropped a horn in there. Hey Jake! Get my horn, you have small girlish arms
NO wonder we shot this scene 39 times, the lens cover is still on that thing!
Yeah, now turn around, that's it, take your bra off...ohhh, yeah, that's hot, baby...
there they are. I can finally get rid of thes fake ones
Hey Good Looking...Whats A Droid Like You Doing In A Place Like This
"I'm tired of acting, I want to direct!!!!!!!!"
Man it is hot. I'm giving up!!!
"Ok George....now you flip over his head, do that triple-kick we talked about, and try to land on the speeder, ok ? and...Action !
"They think that I am setting up the shot, but I have this trained one the Handmaidens doing their aerobics."
HOLY SITH!! Its Queen Amidala topless!!!
hhhhmmmmm.......look at my buttocks...
hmmm they say the camera adds 10 lbs. i wonder how many are on Jabba!!
Your turn now Lucas!
"Ahh, so that's what I look like on bad B-rated films"
Hey! Did someone put shoe polish on the camera again?
"And...action! Wait wait, stuff some more tacos in that dogs mouth so it looks like he's talking. Hold the chalupa up higher."
Hmmmm...the force is strong in this one!
George NEVER had time to visit make-up this morning
Now I'M the director! AAAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!
when not killing jedi, Darth Maul enjoys free-lance photography.
When Darth Mual lost his probe droids he had to sell some stuff and make do with a more traditioonal replacement.
A Kinder Gentler Maul: Photography for Fun And Profit
"Just don't make him mad.......he's does a nasty headbutt."
Oh no! All this jogging made my arm tattoes rub off!
I see (soon to be) dead people!
Sith technology had not advanced as fast as Mr Maul would have liked
Guys....Guys....My eye is stuck.......Guys........................
Ohh, Natilie! Your lookin' fine!!!
um......we're going to need a bigger lens,Jabba has gained another couple hundred pounds.
I am Constipated
"Oohh!! Natalie Portman's changing in her trailer!!"
Joshua Spencer S.
if you look to your left you can probably see the far off planet of alderaan, that should be around for centuries.....hang on im getting a vision...oh well i was wrong
Your colon seems clear tom me, D-23.
okay obi, just bend down a little more, that's good, bit more. {sigh of pleasure}
I know I left those little black drodes somewere.
Little-known Star Wars fact: On "The Phantom Menace", ILM experimented for the first time with their fully automated Darth Maul makeup applicator.
"Say Chesse"
Darth Maul "And action!" Director "that's what I say" Darth Maul "doh!"
"What I really wanna do is direct . .. "
"Look at all the pretty colors!"
"Hey George, in the last scene Liam had his lightsaber on the wrong side. When he lifted his poncho, i couldnt see it when i looked . . not that i was looking, of course . .I uh . .. "
OK Mr. Lucas let's see how YOU swing a lightsaber!
I think this will convince Jennifer Lopez that I can be her ass double in her next action flick!
"Everyone in this town wants to direct."
And this is supposed to help my sinuses how?
for years and years have i searched for these rumored "updates." I still cannot find them..
Someone was going to pay for ruining Darth Maul makeup with the old 'black ink on the eyepiece' trick
Yes....yes..... NO! NO! NO!
At last.....the REAL George Lucas
THE TRUTH BEHIND QUI-GON'S NOBLE END
Ok Ok , this is the scence where we portray Obiwan as a pedaphile.......(Empire propaganda movies)
Where is that slimy Gungan as***le
What Jar Jar did to Darth Maul next was simply unspeakable
Ray Park searches for all those lines that he was sure were in his contract.
yes, and as you can see, the medechloreans seem to be grouping..., there getting biger... ahhhh! my eye!
the dark side of the screen
I don't see Ray Park anywhere!!!!
At that point Maul realised the camera was actually a MegaTronDroid 10000000tm and had superglued his hands to his knees.
oohhh yah baby! c'mon now, take it off!
*Maybe if I pretend that I'm on crew, those danged makeup artists will leave me alone...*
Half-on, half-off.
well this is odd....microscopes dont usually just *appear* in the desert...
Darth Maul finds himself intrigued with the offer of becoming the host of the new T.V show "How to Discover Microscopic Desert Life"
"Use the force my young apprentice, and get my good side!"
I still don't see my scene.
Dang, lost another lightsaber.
Yow! Take it off! Take it all off!
"Darn! I look even sexier on camera!"
I better check to be sure they get my good side.
hey I'm tiered of this filming
That Natalie Portman has one CUTE butt......cough.....must stay in character!!
These Viewmasters kick butt!!
"Now that in the frick is this thing supposed to do?"
"I've gotta be careful...The last time I bent over like this, one of those crazy Banthas tried to give me donkey luvin.'"
"With this thing I can see right into Portman's trailer. Oh yeah baby! I feel like Willie C. in 'Beautiful Girls'. I'm such a dirty old Sith Lord."
"Hey look everyone he has a boner!"
"Hey look everyone he has a boner!" Maul," No, no, little boys with cute little curles, i just..... lost a contact."
"What the heck, I've just *gotta* peek in here!"
wow! i can almost see a sequel from here! no, wait. it's just rick macallum's hair...
"Using my high powered campera, I can spy on anyone. Oh, my god!! They're actually updating tF.N humor page!!"
"Ignor the man behind the curtain"
" Look at me , I'm dead sexy ! Lickedy, lick !
Now I have you in my sites, Jedi Knight!
Please George don't kill me see I can do lots of things
Wow.... these horns are heavier than they look!
So that's why I shouldn't fight a lightsaber duel right after I ate...
Assistant Director: Man, I knew Spielberg was a fan but this going just a bit too far...
unbeknownst to most people, darth maul was a huge fan of alfred hitchcock's "rear window"
John Maul's 2nd failed apprenticeship (after beauty college but before that whole "Darth" fiasco.)
i could caall my ma while i'm on the camera, HEy ma!!!!get off the dang roof!!!!
WOW...look at these chicks...
DAMN AMIDALA IS FIIIIIIINE
...and then I'll put this secret footage of Episode II on the Internet for everyone to see. Lucas, you'll wish you never killed me off! HARHARHAR!!!
HEY! THAT'S MY EYE YOU'VE GOT!!!
Smile! You're on Candid Camera!
No Mr. Lucas, I don't think I'M going to be the one that falls off that cliff....
Maybe i should turn around....
And they say old timey peep shows are the "out" thing.
By using actors as crew members also, George came in way under buget.
"Ohh! That?s really me? I look like a Real bad guy; I?ve got to kiss the camera man !!
I dunno...does this angle make me look fat?
And, action... Oh crap! George, remember, you do the flip first, then you attack! ERR! I just can't work in these conditions! I going to my trailer!
"...staring contest..."
Sideous: "WHAT'S THAT?" Maul: "I SAID WE NEED TO INVEST IN BETTER CELL PHONES!"
"This is the start of something bad, you see, those lenses have black paint on them, oh and here he is getting up, LAUGH AT HIM" Famous Last Words of Rick McCallum.
Whoah, I can see Jar-Jar's dressing trailer from here, now where's my sniper rifle, eh, I'll just borrow the Tusken Raiders over here...
Stick a cock in my ass bitch!
No, I'm NOT leaving to battle some Jedi until we find my yellow contact lense!!
"AAAAH!! The droid's sucking my eyes!
Oh my god! Its a UFO! I gotta get this on tape! Oh, its just George's Trade Federation Starship model...
Slowly Ray realizes that that probe belongs in the other end.
I See Sith People.
"ok and action, wait where's ray, Ray's in this scene, oh crap I forgot I'm Ray, guess that's what I get for playing George Lucas on a closed set"
"Wait, where's weiner???"
This Modem will provide me with nude pics of Natalie Portman.:Two Minutes later: OH HURRY UP I'M A BUSY MAN!: Picks his nose:
Does my Bum look big in this?
Is Georeges budget so low these days? What happened to my great binos' and the probe droids, and what the hell is that bloke creeping up behing me for...
Righ, Whos the joker who put superglue on the eyepiece
Hello down there, give me my cloak back and I won't make you run on that big metal hamster wheel behind me!
Shit, I dropped my scary contact lenses
Stupid CORK!!!
That's the worst droid Anakins built yet!!
At last I will have my revenge. At last I will get them back for those nude pictures that they took of me.
"WHOA!!!...its leia in the slave costume!!...what is she doing with luke!?!?!?'
ALL RIGHT!!!! WHO JUST PULLED THE RING AROUND THE EYE TRICK!!!
"Now...where is that big furry gut who says 'GROWLARHAHR!' who stole my shirt???"
I'll just use this telescope to spy on those probe droids I sent into Mos Espa.
I'll just use this telescope to spy on those probe droids I sent into Mos Espa.
Get this thorn out of my butt!!!!!!
Darth Maul taunts the Jedi with force-enhanced smells after eating a can of beans.
Quietly, patiently, Darth Maul waits for the updates to begin at TF.N humor section
Hey wats worng with the camera?
Hmm, Natalie Portman looks awfully hot through here
I'm shtuck! My eye is shtuck!!
And I thought dieing was bad! I pity the cameramen!
Pee Yoooo, Darth that wasn't what he meant by "Use the Force!"
Maul: "Damn I'm bored - I think I'll take a peek at the next update on TFN..."
Maul: "Damn I'm bored - I think I'll take a peek at the next update on TFN..."
The Gas-o-Meter: The machine that measures flatulance!
While he enjoyed his fame from his appearance on The Phantom Menace, it was soon clear that Darth Maul's real ambition was to direct.
I just KNOW Qui-Gon is out there somewhere...
Astonished that he had 6 lines, Darth Maul looked for a new script elsewhere.
thats why i wasnt in the film for long, i actually directed the movie
You didn't put boot polish on that camera lens did you?? you idiot!!
This new mechanical eye is way to heavy!!!!!!!
GIVING UP ON HIS MEASELY LITTLE PROBE DROIDS, DARTH MAUL UTILIZES A MORE CONVENTIONAL MEANS OF TRACKING DOWN THE QUEEN'S MISSING SHIP.
IN A 'LAST RESORT ' EFFORT IN SEEKING OUT THE JEDI, DARTH MAUL GOES UNDER COVER AS A LUCAS FILM CAMERA MAN.
"HELP! SOME BODY HELP!!! ITS MY MAKE-UP!!! THE HOT SUN HAS FUSED IT TO THE CAMERA!! HELP!!"
LITTLE DID THE PUBLIC KNOW THAT THE CONCEPT OF DARTH MAUL WAS REALLY INSPIRED BY 'CAMERA MAN #1" AT LFL!
Maul considers taking up directing so he can give himself some more screen time
little did we know, Ray Park really directed the movie
Ray didn't know that when Ewan said look in that camera, he was going to get an ink ring on his eye
duke
Yep...No...No...it definatly has a better effect when you don't make those swooshy sounds.
Assistant Director: so you think it'd look better if we left the giant hamster wheel out of the shot?
Darth Maul was upset that his back gave out while looking for Qui-Gon, but even more upset that the pit droids took his cool looking robe and light saber before he could move again.
I see you .....
I guess the ol' "shoe polish around the eye piece" trick wouldn't quite work on Darth Maul
Captain Pikerd
nope no jedi
Darth Maul is to lazy to use the force to life the camera, so he decides to actually do the physical labor of bending over!
Anybody got some laxitives..I just can't get it out?
Why Darth
Why Darth Maul became Darth Maul.
"Are you sure poking myself against the camera is the ONLY way for me to get the nifty red eyes"
"Are you sure poking myself against the camera is the ONLY way for me to get the nifty red eyes"
Ok! Who's the wise guy that put the crazy glue on the eyepiece?
Little does he know that not far off Liam, Jake and Ewan and giggling over the glue they put on the eye piece
Off camera little Jake Lloyd is getting a running start to do justice to that little "Kick Me" sign that Ewan placed on his back
Darth Maul unwinds from a busy schedule of tracking and killing Jedi to study the mating habits of the rare Tatooine sand beetle
"See that camera over there..? Surprise!! You're on candid camera!!!"
Darh Maul was originally a driector, but the critics drove him to a life of crime.
Hmmm, we seem to have a storm heading our way...wait...yes it's a storm. Hold on, theres a cow flying around in the storm...no its okay its a womp rat...phew. Whos the joker who stole my black jacket
God the neighbours lookin sexy today
On his days off, Darth Maul liked nothing more than to break out the beer and do a spot of nature photography
hmmm, check out those handmaidens, gotta get me some of that
mmmmm..... Sith Porn......
Hello? The rep. police? This is Amidala of Naboo. I'd like to report this weirdo across the street; he's watching me undress all the time...
you can see my house from here
i have got to see a dermatoligist about these growths
I cant wait for these new "sith probe droids" this things impractical
O.K. Mr. Olivier, this time, put some heart into it!
"There better not be a black ring around my eye when I turn around!!"
"This droid seems to have grappled my eye.... you can not imagine how much this hurts."
Hello Little Droid!!! and what would you like for Christmas?"
If only he had known the rock monster was about to kick him like a football...
okay, tell makeup this is'nt funny. Can someone get this camera of my face.
This is a poor excuse for a peep show. . .
Hey Neeson! Come look at this. Is it just me or does my butt look bigger on camera?
Park: The creature seems to heve abnormal markings on his face, now he's taking a photo of me!
oh, I gotta crap! Maybe I should'nt have eaten that last fried Mynock.....(splut)
I hope there is no black paint on this eyepiece. Wouldn't want to get paint on myface.
"Yeah, that's what I said. I just bumped into it, and it sucked my robes off. Now help me stop this thing before it sucks my eye out!"
"I like to get into the character of the people I film."
"Over there we see the common blue jay. Oh, did you see that Naboo Starfighter land on that tree? What grace, what... uh, flame?"
"OK, Anikin, I have it on Padme's window."
"Who needs tracker droids?"
"Man, could you help me over here? I just threw out my back!"
This was an exclusive behind the sceens shot at a stage fan, but Darth Maul got in the way of the camera."
"Master are you in there?"
"I'm going to blow you to bits you wasscaly wabbit"
Tired of waiting for his favorite website, theforce.net, to update, Darth Maul desided to amuse himself by video taping the nudist colony next door.
Now you see what those red eyes do to ya? You have to go around for the rest of your life wearing these glasses. But don't worry, they don't make you look like a geek...
Don't pay attention to the man behind the curtin!
I Kneel before you...master!
Ooh,these new fangled hoovers,they'll 'ave yer eye out!
"Hello? Anybody there? Hey, Guys, I think it left. Oh well. Lets do Lunch!"
"The sand people are easily startled, but the'll soon be back...and in greater numbers"
"Does my bum look big in this"
What the heck is this?
Hurry Up
Damn! Why do the cameramen always go on strike on Tatooine?
Ah, this is so much more powerful than my macrobinocs....AHA!There's the queen!
"Hey! That shot makes my butt look big!"
"ALLRIGHT! WHO PUT SUPERGLUE ON THIS THING????"
If I'm not going to be in the second film then i'll just have to direct it
Hey I'm a Seth Lord that means I can do anything
"I didn't know that Anakin would become Vader!" "Cool!"
Dam... I look Good
Maul moons the rock while deep in thought
"There you go louis, perfect! Perfect! do it again now! ok, thats a wrap!"
Yes, Yes, Darth Mual sees updates coming in the near future
when darth maul checks out how he looks just to see if the camera really DOES add ten pounds to you......
in his directorial debut Darth Maul has taken on the challgening film 'Ode to a Sith'
Hey master! get aload of those women over there!
Maul: Will you look at those legs!! (Whistles)
Wow, you can see all the way in Amidalas dress from here!
"I can see my house from here!"
Pay to see the podrace! Yeah right, from where I'm standing I can see just fine.
Stang! That's Queen Amidala, if only this thing had x-ray vision.
I see that his swartz is as big as mine!
Hey, I can't see a thing. Is this the right end?
WOW! Pretty colours
Look at the Arse on that !!
Okay George, this is the scene where you kill Qui-Gon (Hey! this isn'yt as hard as I thought!)
"well this is the nearest ill get to be on film"
"Hey Sidious! Get over here now! You GOTTA check out this wicked kaleidoscope!"
Darth Maul uses state of the art gadets in order to beat Darth Sideous at golf
Hah! You scoff at my "puny" muscles...haha! Guess who dies at the end of the movie! ha ha ha!
The Sith falls - agiain- for the old "tube with black in at the eye-hole" trick
"Sidious? Can you come here? I think there's something in my eye."
After attaching all his horns the makeup team wanted to see how Darth Maul would look with a film camera sticking out of his eye! "edit"
Ohhh, stars!
Ray Park: Hmmm...why exactly DO I just watch their ship fly away??
Hey!, Is this thing on?, Queen Amadala, your shoe is untied
I can see my house from here!
"Man, I just bent over for second-I've never felt so violated in my life!"
Darth Maul's Redneck Director Twin brother- Darth Cletus
I wonder how my hair looked?
And you say if I look down this lens I'll see Quenn Amidala in the shower............no I cant, oh very funny, you put black ink around the eyepeice, I gotta go wash this off now
when are you going to post this one, cos its been here
Bwa ha ha ha! I am the director now! The Force was not strong with Lucas.
He bends over doing...something...
Darth Director (Look out Spielberg)
And the Academy Award for Best Director goes to......
oh look I am geting cut in half..............WHAT ME GETING CUT IN HALF! That was'nt in the contract!!!
Little does Darth Maul know, but Senator Palpatine lined the eyepiece of his secret Jedi detection camera with black eye powder making him the laughing stock of the Trade Federation Battle Cruiser.
"Awe, my Amodian QT Space Modulator is complete! Now Earth will no longer obstruct my view of Venus."
'I can see my house from heereee!!!'
Oh...Shake that ass!
Maul never understood why people laughed at his "concealed binoculars".
The camera crew thought it was a fantastic idea to play the old "Black Paint On The Rim Of The Viewer" trick on Mr Park: "Ha! Ha! Now he's going to have black rings around his eyes!"
"Hmm, I wonder if this is the best way of finding those Jedi..."
"Helloooo.. anybody down there! " Ray was confused when the subterranean U-Boats invaded the set.
Holy crap they're eating a jawa!
I wonder if I'll make a comeback in Episode Two...
wow so that how i'm going to die that just sinks
Maul to Amidala: "WORK IT, WORK IT!! SHOW ME SOME LOVIN' BABY!! NOW GROWL...LIKE A TIGER!! GRRRRRR...
(Darth thinking:) "Acting natural...bending over to casually to look in the camera, aiming toward the big fan thing, and.....AAAAAAAAH yea. Man, I've been holding that one in all day"
Hey Marve? I -I just don't get it! How am I supposed to fight...this?!
GEORGE: (behind a rock) He'll look in, and the area around his eye will turn black! Wait... the area is ALREADY BLACK! DAMN! FOILED AGAIN!
How Darth Maul realy found the Jedi (lousy probe droids were running Win95 and froze on him)
" The reason Gus the camera guy will not be returning for episode 2."
I'm not wearing that black cape on Tatooine
Hey everybody!
I've even looked in this camera and I still can't find my robe George!
Master, stand still so I can record your hologram to send to the viceroy!
Im looking for a newly updated Star Wars picture captioning, but I just don't see it.
Who likes my new contact lense then?
Oh damm cameraman he shouldn't have been so close, didn't geogre tell him lightsabres were dangerous
For god's sake! please remove the lense cover before filming!
That's it my back has gone HELP!!!!!!!!!!
Damm that camerman, he's made me look like a black matchstick with a jumbo sized tomato on top
Ray Park falls for the old black eye ring joke
"Is my butt really that big?"
Aaaaahh. Too much air in the stummick again... Hey whats this???
" Can somebody get this camera out of my eye!?
Darth Maul's custom made Hi-8 home video camera used to film the Emperor's children on Hollidays on Tatoine Jedi World.
Skinny dipping? Oooh..you naughty Jedi...
And then, while I tie my shoe, you kill me by shoving the lightsaber....
Darth Maul was on his way to the doctor's about his "new tiny and weightless eye-implants"
"Alright spread a little more, YEAH just like that!"
Hey, is that a TFN humor update over the horizon?!?! oh, wait, no... guess not...
Sshh! ( We secretly replaced Darth Maul's Fight scene with a A clip from TROOPS, let see if he can tell the difference)
what the hell dose my caption even make any sense
ooooOOOOoooohhhhh!!!! I can see into Natalie's dressing room!!
Araviah-
I maybe a Sith lord, but what I really want to do is direct!
I maybe a Sith lord, but what I really want to do is direct!
Smell this, stupid Jedi!
Wow. That trooper really DID hit his head.
kgh
"Alright everybody, settle down, I want you all to smile on the count of three...Work with me people..." Maul's OTHER occupation as a photographer in all of it's glory
Darth Maul as he continues to search for the new Anakin Skywalker... . o O ( Will it be Hayden?? )
"Hey! There's Yavin and Alderaan! I can even see Naboo from here! These new telescope thingies are SO cool!
"I hope I don't get one of those silly black circles on my eye from the camera again!"
Help me! My face is stuck to this thing!
You mean I gotta pee into that?!
Transmitting sequence from Sidious to Maul " Don't stick your butt out. I can see it from my ship in orbit!!"
With the fall of income from the failed gameshow "Who wants to be George Lucas" George was foced to cut back on staff.
"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille...."
Appeared in the Daily Sith: "Sith Apprentice Darth Maul Moons Rock Formation, Insanity Suspected"
Oh look hooters
Hey, where do you put the quarter??
I knew I'd never get that probe droid out if I stuck it up there.
"Boy, these super-zoom cameras really DO give you a good view into the ladies' shower room!"
i am the alpha and omega
Ray Park, part time actor, full time porn director
Huh?
::inner voice:: Look'n good amidala !! he heeeeahahahah ! Ahh darn gota get back to work.
I hate these retina-scan ATM droids!
!@#$ ^&*+!!!!!!!!!!
Well wadda ya know! I can see Corella from here!
I swear Obi-Wan I don't see anything, Obi-Wan? Ha Ha, This is funny, this is really fun.. I heard something. Obi-Wan?
The tiny machine even impresses the Dark Lord of the Sith!!!
"Rady for Action!! 3-2-1 Annnnnnndddd.... Action! "Anakin move to the edge of the mountain and jump, And remember, the force will keep you into saiftly....NOOOT!!!
oh, great...my eye got stuck in the automatic eye-redder, and now I will be seen in a white shirt..
"Oh, this is the end you look through, okay."
Can Darth Maul see why kids like Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Say CHEESE!!!
Lucas' latest Droid proves he's a Stooge Fan when he attempts the Curly Eye Poke...
Hey, Liam! Smile, buddy!
"Wow Lucas has a big butt!"
huh?
Shit we can see anakin wanking from here!
After his third session of "Tae Bo:Tatooine Tricepts",Ray Park started to "feel the Force burn."
OH these hemroids are killing me
fgsdg
What?? Imust destroy this imposter of my master!!
oooh 'Horny' naked chick
That's it, Amidala. The camera loves you.
Dang, i'm not that ugly am i?
After you complete this patented move In the Ray Park Tae-Bo Sith Warrior Training Home Video. We will move on to the section, "The Buns of the Force!"
"There, now I will look taller than Liam."
HOLY COW SIDIOUS, THEY'RE FINALLY COMING TO UPDATE THE SITE!
George, I don't like this angle... It makes my hips look big.
Wow, Liam, you were right, you can see right into Natalie's dressing room!
I spy with my little eye....
Which Way did He GO????!!!!!
"Do my horns look better in this shot...or this one?"
"Hey! I thought I was supposed to be 100% digital for this shot! First, I don't get my own trailer, now this!"
"Liam, you really should be more careful with your 'lightsaber!'"
"C'mon, what's wrong with this thing?! I keep putting quarters in, and nothing's happening!"
"Ok, Qui Gon, a little bit to the left,, no, no your other left -- ok. Jar Jar, stop fidgeting......And where the hell is my danish!?
"...That's right, Qui-Gon. The boulder falls down on both you AND Wylie E. Coyote."
"At last I shall have revenge! The Star Wars saga told fom the SITH point of view!"
Director Maul: GET OUT OF THE SHOT, MARK!
Hey there are no women in here! This is just a shotgun! ::BLAM::
Fortunately the scene where Darth Maul moons Qui-Gon (he prepares to in this photo) was removed and destroyed
If I ever find those people at TFN!
Yeah Baby!!! Now with a little more convincing...... Ow, yes!! That's it girl!!!!
Sliverat
Sliverat
A-solo
I think I look fat in that shot
"That's right, Ray. Just put your head on that thing, and it'll give ya another horn..."
Damn!!! I'm glad that I don't look like an idiot!!
I hope they hurry and finsh........I've got to crap!!!!!
They built this lazer for a MIGIT!!!!!!!!
Yo ho ho and a bottle o' rum, eh, Mr. Lucas?
MAUL: Ahoy! Get us off this rock!! LUCAS: (mumbles) Okay, I want a better sunscreen than he has...
geez this picture degrades all that is evil
Darth Maul's last ditch effort to find the Jedi
"Man im glad this isn't a porno movie"
*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPP!!!* "Ahhh geez not again. Can someone get me another pair of pants preferably from Old Navy!?!?"
With the crew snickering in the background, Bob falls for the old 'ink on the eyepiece' gag as easliy as the 'ink in the ski-mask'
im filming pokemon 2
Guy behind Darth Maul, " Lets see if I can shoot this rubberband up his butt, augh!!"
Ohhhhh! that Tuskun Raiders got a rather big gaffi stick ohhhhh wicked boy tee hee
Where'd that White Rabbit go?
And this is Darth Maul when he first wakes up in the morning. Look for something to prey on.
Now a little to the left Obi-Wan, good!
This disguise will definatly fool those Jedi. Now, where are they?
Darth Maul, father of four and a half, prepares to take a family photo...
'Hmm... Par 5, Dog leg left... Sarlac hazzard just before the pin.... "
Hey... that Oola chick IS pretty hot...
Ray Park: ARGH! they got the angel wrong....you can't see my horn profile at ALL!
WHOOOOAH!!! I can see Natalie Portman's dressing trailer from here!
Damn, I farted again... Bah, if anyone asks, I'll say it's Amhed Best. Anyone already hates him anyway!
"Say that again--you want me to do WHAT?!"
"the butler seen what"!!!!!!!!!!!
Wheres my double ended sabre gone????
Alright Palpy, now turn to the left, now turn to the right. Work it Palpy, work it. Lets see those gorgeous yellow eyes. Yeah baby
Uhmmm, it looks like Niagara Falls actually...
what?
I did that?
"You can see EVERYTHING through this!"
"Hey! Look at this! Liam! I can see you!"
"Do these pants make my butt look really big on camra?"
Mark "What-does-this-button-do" Hamil
"hrrrm, there must be an easier way for me to apply my eye make-up"
After the camera crew ran out of shoe polish, one of the guys came up with a diffent idea. Crazy glue. "Guys.. Please? Can somebody get me off this thing? Hey, come on!"
OHHHH! Are those naked Rodians in there???
Oh shit..., I get cut in half!!!
Say "Siiith" everyone!
Darn those electro binoculars! They break and force me to use this incompetent device!
Did you get my last shots? I will NOT do that fighting scene again!
And you wonder why the darkside always loses? Here we have the last second of Mauls life with working eyes before he got a 10,000X magnified view of the sun.
Allrigt I see them! Saddle up boys and we?ll teach those Jawa scum NOT to steal my robe !!
Uwe!! Pretty colours, definitly pretty colours, definitly, definitly, pretty colours.
Boy that Natile has a cute butt!!!!
Wow! Oh man will Natalie ever be pissed when she finds out I have this camera pointed into her trailers shower.
Oooohhh...What happens if I look into this little thingee?
Hang on I dropped my contact lens!
"Can they really see us through this...oh, hey! Ewan! Check this out!"
Darth Call
I never noticed this before
Look at the view from here!
Little did Maul know about the black ring around the eye trick that Anakin was trying to pull to catch him off guard.
But what I really want to do is direct.
But what I really want to do is direct.
Where are those darn probe droids?!?
damd online ebay i said palm camera
Now that I've knocked off lucas, I'll make sure this movie goes straight. HA HA HA HA!
Lucas finally gives in to the dark side, killing the cast and taking on a familiar form...
Yo, Lucas...I may be seeing things but... I don't see myself in any of these scens/
He was right, I do look a little like Mark Hamill when I fall into the pit...
Ok, this is my favorite part.....There goes Bambi...
The cast was right..that wrinkle in the bag does match Anakins Profile...
Ooh, what does this button do?
Wow! Is it HOT out here or is it just Padme sunbathing. This new desert-scope is great. They said the light side offers better. Heh! heh! heh!
Midi-chlorians? I don't see no midi-chlorians...
Yeah, being a Sith lord and wasting Jedi is great, but what I really want to do is direct.
George, move in some. Ok, that's it! Hold it! Now everyone say "May the Force be with you!"
"Maul's Dream of being a sub captain seem all but riduculus in the desert"
do I see an update out there? naw, couldn't be.
And here, we see the new style for all the Sith Lords. Yes, that black cloak is out of style. What's in? White T's!!!
"Wowza, that queen is hot!
OK, I can see it. Now, What is it? Is it an Imperial Star Destroyer? Oh no! We're all going to die!
Bloody Lucas can't do anything right!!
Heh..heh..heh.. That's right Padme, just a little more to the left..
I can see my house from here!
As Darth Maul winds down on a long day of hunting he pulls out his Ex-3tron Coloscope. WOW! Is it HOT out here or is it just Padme' sunbathing, and they said the light side has nothing to offer!?
Ok, who put the glue on the eyeholes again!?
Darth Maul's part-time job
" There she blows! Moby Dick off the starboard bow!"
These kaleidascopes...they're so trippy!
"I've been looking and looking and I can't find me saying more than line of dialogue in the whole series!"
"Hmmm, Ewan daahling, just a little to the left. That's it, thanks sweetie!"
Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.
uuugggghhh! thats gotta hurt!
"Okay Qui-Gonn, just a little close to the edge..I er mean, close to that rock."
WOW!!! Come and look what Liam's doing to Natalie!!!!!!!
Maul- "I really hate these antique cameras."
Does the camera make me look fat??
Perhaps if I pretend to be looking into this viewer, no one will notice that I'm passing gas...I sure hope George isn't downwind!
Perhaps if I pretend to be looking into this viewer, no one will notice that I'm passing gas...I sure hope George isn't downwind!
"Damn it, those stupid rental probes! Where'd they go?"
star wars
Look at her ass
Maul- "Hey, what's...WOW! Hey Ewan, check this out! You can see out of it!" Ewan- "Yeah, Maul, you can." Liam- "Remember, smile and nod." Maul- "What's that supposed to mean?"
Look! I see the TFN Humor updates over there!
"Dang it! It's not in there. Where can that horn floss be?!"
testing
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by Jo Bob
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by Richard Cadman
by Mara Jade Skywalker
by Dart Zader
by Bob's Feet
by Pez
by Pez
by Jedi Master Kristen-Wan Kenobi
by Jedi Master Kristen-Wan Kenobi
by Jared Cabot
by johnson sean johnson 700
by yod <(-_-)>
by Lucas:Who the heck is this person?
by Hey, Where's the Creme Filling?
by Innocent Bystander
by D. Maul..the place to shop for Darth
by
by Little Bit
by IJediJunkieI@aol.com
by Madman
by Madman
by Winter
by Maul Madness
by Aaron
by Darth Whatzisname
by Jedi Cat
by Sponge
by Martin Dempster
by Arian
by Jeff J
by IJediJunkieI@aol.com / Jesus Perez Jr.
by CaDi VaDa
by Plo Kool
by Gabriel Darkhawk
by Fofa Bett
by lee.medcalf@informa.com
by Neil Jacobs
by Guildnavigator
by felix palao
by Angel (aka Odious)
by jack lennon (Saasii Tiin)
by Jade's Fire2003
by mechadave
by Quite-gone Gin
by Quite-gone Gin
by Travis Clark
by aidan
by Jhon Davis
by Chris Faiers
by Mara Jade Skywalker
by Obw1
by Day and Kela
by chris knight