Even Vader's *Toilet* was intimidating ...
by Nick

After 3 hours, no-one had the courage to tell Lord Vader about that broken fuse in his hologram system ...
by Nick

Even the Sith think best on the can.
by BizRodian

"Hmmm...I don't think he's coming."
by Saber

"Master? I think I'm shrinking..."
by Saber

"(Pippi voice) Why didnt George let me speak by my self?"
by Gimli

Vader's wedding: "Hey.. Arn'r there suppose to be like a priest, som guests and stuff? And where the f**k is Shmi!?"
by David Lofberg

Master ... This internship in the White House is killing my Knees
by rodneymoran@yahoo.com

Patrick
by Patrick

The pentinent man kneels before God....the pentinent man kneels before God....hmmmmm...KNEEL!! swish swish
by

"Curses!! Where's the toilet paper?"
by Darth Gator

Hey! Anyone out there? I need some toilet paper!
by Brian Hardin II

"I've got the best seat in the house for 'Jedis On Ice'."
by Jim Clancy

HUH?!?! AHHHHH!!!! Super glue!!!! I'll get you for this Ozzel!!! *yank yank* The force is strong with this one!!!
by Patrick White

Vader, party of one
by Patrick White

Come on Palpatine!!! I hate call waiting
by Patrick White

I've falling and I can't get up!!!!
by Patrick White

I've fallen and I can't get up!!!
by Patrick White

I gotta get an intern to do this!!!
by Patrick White

You got to PRAY..... PRAY.......just to make it today!!!!
by Patrick White

Vader opens his last Mountain Dew in hopes it matches Seat 11 Row 23, so he can get a ticket to opening night at Episode I
by Patrick White

"I've fallen and I can't get up."
by Knight26

"I wonder if the Emperor will notice if I fall asleep here?"
by Knight26

Vader has high hopes to be a chess piece one day
by Patrick White

*do...do...do* Were sorry, all circuts are busy...please try your call again....
by Patrick White

Oh BOY! My first Franklin Mint Life-sized Star Wars chess piece is finally here!
by The Random Ranger

"Holy Mary, Mother of God . . ."
by JonSchmon

"I wish the Emperor wouldn't screen his calls with the holonet answering machine." *BEEEP* "My Master! It is I, your humble servant, Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith. Are you there? Master?"
by The Random Ranger

Even Dark Lords of the Sith have to stretch before doing their step aerobics.
by Dlando McKeem

"Piett, have you ever noticed how incredible Imperial architecture is?"
by Jeditricks

Oh HOW am I going to explain the Millennium Falcon's escape? Maybe I can pin it on an officer. PIETT! PIETT! Where is he? He's never around when I'm mad! Oh well, I'll get another patsy.
by Jeditricks

Where's Superman?
by Ox

"Lord Vader, are you alright? It's been 30 minutes since the Emperor yelled at you and you're still kneeling there." "Oh, I'm alright Piett. I'm just thinking my youth as a Pod Racer." "Sure Lord..."
by Michael R.

Wow, the Emperor was REALLY mad after my failure with Luke. Now, which officer was I going to "discipline" for this string of mistakes? BAH! I can't remember! I guess I'll have to let it go for now...
by Jeditricks

You gave the TinMan a Heart, ScareCrow a Brain, the Lion got Courage, and you sent Dorothy home!! All I want is a double-bladed lightsaber like Maul. Please??!!
by Keiran H

Help! I've been robbed!
by

"Mork calling Orsen. Come in Orsen."
by Rob Roy

Lord Vader begins to think this HDTV stuff is incredibly overrated.
by Bob Linehan

Comm officer: "Incoming message from the giant head."
by Bob Linehan

Hey, Someone give me a push!
by Ross Lagoda

Now where did I put my legs?
by Ross Lagoda

Help! I'm melting!
by Ross Lagoda

This hologram is taking a long time to load ... I should have upgraded to a T3 connection!
by Grandma Tarkin

Although Darth Vader waited by the holoprojector for days, the Emperor never returned his call.
by Grandma Tarkin

"Please deposit 25 credits to complete this call. Thank you."
by Grandma Tarkin

I just *love* to play Dark Side Air Hockey! Anyone want to join me?... Guys?
by mcooper

Now I lay me down to sleep...
by Chris Gruber

Oh, damn. Furniture's been repo'd again. I'm gonna talk to the Emperor about this...
by Chris Gruber

Hello, God? Are you there? It's me, Darth...
by Chris Gruber

force,force were is the chicks????
by Spooky

My Master? Are you here? ..... Maybe this was a false call ..... What am I doing here anyway?.....
by Storm

"Take a message admiral...I'm on the throne!"
by David Andrew Smith

"Help! I melting! I'm meeeellting!"
by Adam Overholtzer

Darth A. Vader, you're going to kneel in the corner until you learn how to play with the other Jedi!
by CoE

Hmmm...guess I really made him mad this time. Well he'll appear any minute now...thats right any minute now..note to self..don't fail the emperor..EVER
by callista77

Scene from the new Lucas/Beckett play, "Waiting for Greedo"
by Adam Goss

He's the most powerful man in the universe but he can't even keep his appointments...
by Darth Sidious

I didn't think the emperor would cut my legs off just because I messed up. Sheesh!
by Behn-kihl-nahm

"I'm waiting i'm waiting i'm waiting i'm waiting ......... i'm waiting i'm waiting somemore i'm waiting i'm waiting i'm waiting i'm waiting...........
by KATE1

Forgive me Farther, for I have sinned.
by Fett692@aol.com

"Master. Master?. Dang it I hate these new cell holo's
by Luke Skyhopper

Shit, where did I hide that last ho-ho
by Sam Louis

Ah, the shine. Mr. Clean would be proud.
by Billy4all@aol.com

(hologram of the emporer disapears) "SUPERVOLT? AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHH!!"
by Wickentein

Hologram message ends. "God I hate that guy."
by Wickentein

"I really need to redecorate..."
by The Dark Grendel

This would make one hell of a hockey rink...
by Nathan Perry

Darth:"What is wrong my lord?" Voice: You have failed me not once but twice" Darth: I am sorry my lord"(in backround hear crank being pulled) Voice: Go to HEll! Darth:AHHHHhhNOO I've been there before
by coolman

"I'm melting! I'm M-e-e-e-lting!!"
by Darth Gator

I am one with the pebble...one with the pebble.....
by Kaoss

"I haven't seen anything like this since the sixties."
by Anthony Marston

"Darn! I hate staring at these walls. The next time I use the bathroom, I'll bring a book!"
by Neil Goodliffe

i must talk to my interior decorator about this.
by alyha noejie

Aaaah, that's better. Let's see, how do you flush this thing?
by Michael McKinley

Yes, My Master, he will join us or die! Huh? Oh, uh, yes, Master, I promise to clean the holograph chamber once I'm through with it. What? Awwww, you mean right now? That sucks!!!
by Michael McKinley

Pay no attention to the Dark Jedi behind the bulkhead!!!
by HaHaRich!

"Damn those asteroids, he hung up"
by Lars - lebj97@sprog.auc.dk

Darth gets stood up by The Emperor
by spice addict

No answer on the holgram? Damn, the emporer must really be mad at me this time.
by Nomad76

for give me father for i have sinned, it has been 2o years sence my last confeshion
by ken daliege

No Lord of Sith's day is complete with out relaxing at his personal ice rink.
by Joe

I wonder what'll happen when he finds out they don't have super-strength wrinkle cream at Wal-Mart...
by SBD

"Oh God!What is up with this wall paper!I told them I wanted fuscia!Now I'm gonna have to strangle some one again!Damn!"
by J.Kondoff

Above: Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, practices his catcher's squat for the Imperial Navy's Intergalactic Baseball Squad
by Matt Adams

Lost footage of ANH, where George Lucas casted Darth Vader as a midget.
by Wickenstein

I leave my room unlocked one time, and next thing i know, I come back and all the furnitures missing!
by Wickenstein

"I don't understand it, why don't the ladies ever call me?"
by Jedi Wing

...and thank you for blonde's come back, i guess the force really does work.....
by Jennifer Vance (indianacowgirl@yahoo.com

"I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what world! What a world!!"
by Charles S. Lewis III

"Revealed at last: a long-lost picture of Warwick "Ewok" Davis auditioning for the role of Darth Vader."
by Charles S. Lewis III

After years of searching, Darth-y finally found the not-so-emerald city. "Now where is that darn wizard?!"
by The iguana that ate yoda!

See Vader On Ice!
by Chris Clark

Gee, did I leave my Hyperbaric Chamber open?
by Scott F

*sigh.* He always does this to me. "Vader, I command you to make contact with me." Then he puts me on hold. . . .I wish he'd never gotten call waiting.
by The Nearsighted Stormtrooper

Focus! Focus! Foooooooocus!!
by Fairuz

Oh CRAP! I need to talk to the old geezer again!
by BEN & Alex

Vader I open my eyes and I seeee *great suspense here*.........NOTHING!!!!!!
by Jediforce a.k.a.

by Hmmm, Wouldn't it had been nice with som

Hmm, Do I really like blue ? No !, Noooooo !, Nooooooooooo !
by Ragnar Evensen

Darth waits for Master Palpatine, for his s/m session.
by Zara

A young Jake Lloyd tries on the Darth Vader costume.Perhaps not the best fit.
by Michael R.

A few seconds after the Taco Bell chihuahua's holo-image disappears, Darth Vader is STILL completely stunned. "How could you, George? How could you???" keeps running through Vader's mind.
by Michael R.

"No, really. It's good for your knees."
by Broosh

"Its the Circle Of Life........"
by ANDnonymous

There is just no place for me to hang Solo in here... hmmm... perhaps giving him to Fett was a good idea.
by Gayjedi

"Gee, the floors look great!"
by mst_jedi@hotmail.com

"...yea, two orders of fries and a cherry Coke"
by KG

Finally I can afford the latest THX-system...
by Jemm

Wax in, wax out, wax in.........is this ok master Myagi?
by Obi Mike Kenobi

Maybe I should travel to Hawaii to work on my sunburn, my master!
by Gimli

What the heck Am I staring at!!!
by JediMaster

Emperor (watching on view screen): Hehehe! Mr. Miagi was right. A simple command like 'Wax on, wax off' will keep him busy for hours!"
by Alphie

"No, these drapes don't do a THING for me!
by Darth Fatuous

"...and that's how action figure stands were invented."
by The Random Ranger

My apartment feels so empty without you, my master. A tv would be nice.
by Mike Warmels

"Um . . .Hello? . . . Is this thing on? "
by Jason

Yes My Lord.....I will take my Prozac
by JediKnight4

Emperor, from of camera: Now you stay there and think about what you've done.
by Weasel

SHOOT! I left the door unlocked again!
by Dustin Gage

Now I lay me down to sleep...
by Michael Johnson

Superman, are you here? This IS the fortress of solitude, right?
by Bobby Drake

The traditional Sith Lord side job...zamboni operator
by Kristen

"this bathroom is big enough, you'd think they'd put in a magazine rack for me."
by rufus holmes

So this is what the inside of a duracel battery looks like!
by Edhelhin

I really ought to do something about that ceiling.
by Mark Hagood

Disillusioned after his silver medal winning performance, VAder turned from ice skating to the Dark side of the Force.
by Grant Johnson

"Beam me up!"
by jean-denis haas

Damn! No toilet paper again!
by Trevor Paulson

So that's what did with the old Fortress Of Solitude set!
by Adam T. Cornett

It just never works when you need it
by jgg

6 Days Later, Darth patiently awaits the arrival of the moving company with his furniture from Coruscant.
by D. Hiler

"uh wait a minute did I tell the decorator to put THAT there?" "mmm I'm not sure I like the blue touch"
by Leah and Gabe

Damn this Feng Shui
by Joe Godfrey

"WELL, MASTER, HOW ABOUT I JUST PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE? I HATE BOTH you AND THE DARK SIDE! Yeah, that's what I'll say when he gets back on..."
by Phoenix1138

EMPEROR : now vader, observe my power to turn invisible
by Gabe

A candid shot of Vader in his luxurious bathroom
by Jonn Baca

Well i've got nothing to do..... sence I am a great lord of the sith no one wants to talk to me so I guess everyones afraid of me ya know I guess its because I do the finger thing . I am lonly so sad.
by KATE1

Well i've got nothing to do..... sence I am a great lord of the sith no one wants to talk to me so I guess everyones afraid of me ya know Ihe finger thing . I guess ill just sit here.......
by KATE1

For hours on end, Darth Vader would kneel in the communications room, talking to the smudge on the inside of his helmet.
by Jimmy DuVor

Darth Vader finally discovered the horrible truth...using the Force to choke people makes your legs shrink.
by Fred Frine

After stealing Darth Vader's suit and helmet, 6-year old Toby stood in the communications room, pretending to talk to the Emperor.
by Mak Mallet

(high toned beep) "We're sorry. You're call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again."
by Clint Schroeder

A scene from the long lost Star Wars Special: Vader on Ice
by Grover

Remember to keep your Vader on a coaster
by Andrew Coe

dude, this is one cheesy ripoff of Superman's joint. this sucks!
by Scully2

( Darth talking to himself) Ya know being a dark lord of the sith can be tiring sometimes......So i'm just going to sit here for a while and let the rebellion take... OH wait that didnt come from me!!
by KATE1

Damn! I forgot my newspaper!
by Busky3

"Father, I have sinned..."
by Shawn McCarthy

Mom always said not to wait by the holo for a guy to call....but he'll call, I know he will!
by Jennifer aka sierra916

"Hmmm...looks like this floor needs another coat of wax.....someone will pay for this!"
by Shawn McCarthy

"My knees hurt! Damn. They should makes these cushions softer!"
by Shawn McCarthy

Palpatine, tell me the truth. Do I look good in black?
by Daniel Johnson

I mean it is "Kill Him", or "Destroy That". Well that's it !!! Today is the day !!! I mean it. I am going to tell him that I've had enough. I can't take his crap anymore !!!
by T-Willy

"Energize."
by Mark Goodnight

would you like fries with that my master?
by Hoth Wampa

"Oh man, this giant hot plate feels GOOD!"
by Lady Hyde

"Yes. This is exactly where my hologram portrait should go. Have it up by the time we reach Endor."
by knutsonswl

darth vader prayn'
by harry

"Okay, that's the last time I fall for him saying 'The Emperor commands you to make contact with him' on April Fools Day."
by Jedi Jeremy

Hmmm... I know i was supposed to do something else here...
by J vermillion

Oh no!! I'm melting!
by

hmm, the force is strong with this wall
by Tammo

What the hell is that thing?
by Mandalorian42

Om...
by mandalorian42

I wonder why the Emperor put me on hold? My knees are killing me!
by Dex1138

Now where'd that contact lens go...
by mandalorian42

I'm gonna do a really gnarly belly flop!
by Khabarakh Clan Kihm'bar

Oy vay!!! These Jedi knee pads just don't have the cusion power they used to...
by GhostbusterX

Now I lay me down to sleep...
by GhostbustersX

This Dark Force is really takin a toll on my feeble knees.
by GhostbusterX

Note to self: Kill this interior decorator!
by

Note to self: Kill the interior decorator!
by GhostbusterX

Boy, I can't wait to try out these Dark Force ice skates!
by GhostbusterX

Then I want some coffee.....and a little kitten...hey, are you there? Hello? Can't see out of this damn helmet. When I get this thing off....
by GhostbusterX

"So, does this helmet clash with me robe?"
by GhostbusterX

After these acting classes, I will sacrafice you young Jedi to my god......KEANU REEVES!!!!!!!!!!
by GhostbusterX

yep. I'm just sitting here wait'n for the intergalactic bus
by coolman

Mom, how many times do I have to tell you don't call me at work!!!!1
by XWING81485@aol.com

48, 49, 50. Ready or not, Palpatine, here I come!
by Danny Peykoff

Who does number 2 work for?
by Patrick Fogg

"How cool is this? Luke takes revenge and cuts off my legs, but I'm still taller than every single ewok!!"
by Charles S. Lewis III

Dorf On The Dark Side
by Xyphus of Earth

Um...hello? Anyone there?
by TheRogue

"Wait a minute! You said you were gonna appear outta thin air this time!"
by Shawn McCarthy

So this is how Monica felt....
by Larry T.

This is the last time I sign up for AOL !!!
by Joe Fera

Ouch I shouldn't of sat on the tack right then
by Jeremy Moore

"AW MAN!!! my hover pod is broken"
by Bladefist Silverhorn

Please enter your calling card number and p.i.n. now.
by Timothy P. Donahue Jr.

"Lousy Sprint holo-connection!"
by Barbara Fett

Sometimes I like to just sit here and pretend I'm a chess piece...
by Martin Dawson

Dang, what's wrong with the antenna NOW?
by Martin Dawson

While the cloak and helmet fool everyone, Vader goes to bars to "meditate".
by Martin Dawson

What is thy bidding, master? Master?
by Martin Dawson

Darth sprains a metal rod in his ankle while practicing on his new dance floor.
by mrcake

Trooper: "we've all hated vader for a while haven't we?"
by mrcake

"Wow, with my new ride on buffer 3000 I'll have the cleanest darn floors this star system has ever seen!"
by ViD

Being technologically illiterate, Vader did not think for a moment that his holo projector may be broken.
by mrcake

Hey, guys, you're not going to believe what I just did. I covered Vader's Holo projector seat with super glue! Boy will he be pissed o...cough...choke.
by mrcake

"Isn't it rich? / Isn't it queeeeeeeer?" Very well Commander Jejerrod, these acoustics will be adequate.
by Darth Thingy

Standing above a grating on the Death Star, Darth Vader attempts to get his Marilyn Monroe impression down for the Lucas shot-by-shot remake of "Some Like It Hot"
by Darth Thingy

"Man, this place gets dead at this time."
by Tristan Kotara

i swear i parked it here
by danny foreman

by "I need a new interior designer."

hey, why is there a shadow being casted over me? hello stardestroyer
by coolman

After a long day Darth Vader retreated to his secret abode only to remember that his really cool grove pod was still in the clutches of the feindish Darth Ed, who had been begging him for months.
by Bitmap

Sometimes when alone, Darth Vader likes to sit on a four foot ashtray and pretend he is in an Akira Kurisawa movie..
by Bitmap

"Should we tell Lord Vader that the the Emperor didn't really call?" "Nah, give him five more minutes to figure it out... then run like a mynock with its tail on fire and hope he doesn't catch us."
by Alan Caum

Only if I can get a Valentine....
by Jordan Capps

"Ommmm....ommmm..."
by Salana

"Luke, I am your..... oh sh*t, forgot to remove the lens!"
by Robo

Annoying mechanized voice: I'm sorry. We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please try to reconnect later. Vader: When will Palpatine ever learn not to trip the circuit breakers?
by Salana

Man, these imperial toilets are sooo cold..
by DanTooine

Allah Ackbar!
by Sina K.

Hmm...now it's right foot black and-Ack! Damn this mechanical armor!
by Sina K

I'm sorry, but the Emperor is busy at the moment. If you will leave your name and the time you called, the Emperor will be happy to destroy you.
by Jaina Solo

Who wouldn't like a servent like this one. He only says two things: "What is thy bidding my master," and "Yes, my master," You couldn't ask for better obidience. Call the galactic maid service at ...
by Jedi Kris

such spacious bathrooms, i have never seen
by

...zzzzz...zzzz...HUH?..No i wasn't sleeping
by Darth paul

oi , mr emperor get a load of that womens !"?!
by edge

"Yes, my master."
by MikeSolo11

They were right. Watching paint dry is boring
by Brian

The Dark Lord of the Sith, returning from a long day of scorching Ewoks, falls to his knees upon discovering that not even himself is safe from home invasion robbery.
by The Funky Mogwai

by steve

Man! i hate these kiddies urinals
by steve

I wish they'd make these space-urinals taller!
by Rob Mello

Scene from the nationwide tour, Episode VII: Honey, I Shrunk the Imperials... On Ice! - Mini-Vader prepares for his wild hockey puck ride.
by Home Cookin

Where's the picture? The popcorn? The people? Isn't this the theatre
by Webman77

You don't want to know what he's doing there. Honestly.
by Webman77

Fuck,I'm sick of this blue colour scheme
by Iani

"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!!"
by me

"Oooh, ahhh, ouch! Always making me kneel...even with my arthritis..."
by DarkAngel69

"I wish he would play some of that cool cathedral music when he appears."
by fenix's fire

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned..........again!
by R.J. Brian

uh uh uh uh stayin' alive!! stayin' alive! **Oh sorry My master!
by boricua jade

"Yes!!!!""sigh....."I will except the charges.."
by Sheldon N . Lee

Lt. Darth, you got no legs.
by Mary the Wookie

It won't Flush!! The force is strong with this one.
by mary the wookie

"What is it you wish my master."Vader"Get your helmet out of your butt and tell those jerks to quit putting chimpanzee eyes on me!!!"Emperor
by J.Kondoff

I still think the toilets here should have doors
by Marcelo Lemmi

Is this the conference room?
by Harry the wookie

I can't believe they didn't finish the bathroom on time!
by wayne cleary

"Oh Dang! I hate these stupid Fun House mirrors! They always make me look fat!"
by sweetjedibrown

Ack... damned Zenith.
by Lord Briano

I've been good santa can I get a new darksaber
by

And then she bent down like this before the President and...
by Matthew Rigdon

"I'm a little tea pot short and stout...here is my handle here is my spout......YES MY MASTER"
by James Easter

"Grr.. why does it always happen to me? ALWAYS to me.. those contact lenses. always falling out of my eyes... Oh wait, here's something" _CrAcK_ ".... eehh.. Guard, could you put the Emperor on hold?"
by Erik Beyerman

Damn it, what's so important that the Emperor has to put ME on hold???
by Keroauc

Ha! I'd like to see those Ninja Turtles get into the Death Star now!
by Master Halcyon

I coulda sworn they said the shooting of the Jedi Council scenes would be HERE.
by Master Halcyon

I knew I shouldn't have chosen a new throne without the Emperor's approval! He'll never be able to sit on this thing!
by Master Halcyon

Si-i-it! Goooood Darthy!
by Master Halcyon

"That's the last time I use the Imperial Travel Agentcy they said it would be a hot,sunny beach not a cold icy cave"
by ANT Yoster

Boy, do I miss my MTV
by Walter Danek

how the hell do i flush this thing anyway?
by bodo

director "hey David,you're facing the wrong way"
by bodo

off screen "can somebody tell kenny to get outta that damn costume again"
by bodo

VADER:STUPID EMPOROR!I DON'T NEED A TIME
by the ewokinator

"The colors, man, the colors"
by Valorum

Why 3-foot Ewoks are considered lousy at this Darth Vader thing
by Valorum

He had to call right before i had to take a piss
by Samantha Smith

Always when I'm eating
by Brian Berry

"Palpatine must be in another chat room"
by Ramiewon

OOOOOOOOO look at the little wierd glistening red dot thingies under the wierd lamp upside-down thingies...
by Matthew Nelson

"So, which way is East again?"
by Ringlance

By Allah! With all this hyperspace travelling, I've come to not know where Mecca is
by Armenoid

I said any color BUT lilac....gagh
by vik

Damn these long distance connection times.
by Russell Young

Dang! This thing never works! It makes me want to crush a windpipe. Captain Needa, give me an update on the pursuit. (snap, crunch, gasp...) Apology accepted for messing up my holoprojector!
by Skyfire

Watching paint dry isn't as fun as I thought.
by Tom Pearce

i wonder if i could hit the wall with a loogee?
by Alex Tib

I hate it when I am the first person to show up at the discoteque.
by Jay K Newnum

"KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!"
by Skee55

"My Master.Could you use your lightning to get this Bantha Pudu off my shiny new boots?"
by DUMB-4

MOM get off the phone, the emperor said he was gonna call me TONIGHT... the EMPEROR... MOM!
by rufus holmes

He could be turned... Uh, hello? HELLO! Master! Master, can you hear me? WHAT'S THAT, YOU'RE BREAKING UP!
by David Witanowski

"Somewhere, over the rainbow....."
by Dave Papageorge

Dorothy, Scarecrow, TinMan, Toto, and the Lion shriek in udder horror as they see a mysterious black figure waiting for the Wizard of Oz to appear.
by gordon gimse

You cannot resist the Dark Side!
by Glacier

Vader's thinking: "At last! They put a bathroom in my room!"
by Amir B.

Ahhhh I'm stuck in this damm think, HELP, I promise I won't kill anyone ever again!!
by Alex West

Hey, where'd all the furniture go?
by Eric Hanson

Geez, I hope the Emperor calls soon. I'm getting a cramp in my legs!
by Rowan

Ya know, I should have been an interior designer, I could have made this room a whole lot prettier!
by MR. D

Dorf Vader
by Avenging Jawa

In the privacy of his secret chamber, Vader would often wax the floor and slide around on his Mon Calimari boogie-board.
by D. Buhl

Keep going Monica, that's perfect!
by Jimbob

Er... Master? Master? MASTER??? @/$%?! I knew I should have switched too Sprint's new savings plan... Either that or Piett forgot to pay the long distance bill again!
by Aaron Schroeder-Tabah

Vader sags with relief as he finally has an excuse to leave the asteroid feild...
by O-Ben-Wan Kenobi

Prequel Update: With David Prowse no longer interested in the roll, a midget will portray Darth Vader in Episode III.
by Ryan

"I hope he doesn't find out about the plans my son and I have to overthrow him..."
by O-Ben-Wan Kenobi

I HATE call waiting...
by Robert Tyrrell

I wish my master would stop screening his calls...
by Robert Tyrrell

"...they call THIS modern art???"
by famulus@worldnet.att.net

How do I get this thing to fly?????
by Jeff Crisp

I HATE call waiting...
by John Harmston

Ah, bumper cars gets so boring by yourself."
by Josh the Jedi

"No, move a little to the left emporer, no a little to the right now, wait I still can't see you."(Mother with Albert Brooks)
by Obi Nobody

"I'm sorry but I'm away from the Holonet right now, but if you'll leave your name and number I'll be sure to project back to you."
by Josh the Jedi

As hundreds of uncreative fans across the net began typing lame toilet captions, they felt a strange choking sensation...
by Bill Langston

Gosh I have been waiting here for a long time now ,and its probbly because Emporor Palpane is too slow and old (VERY) to make it here . But no one heard that from me all I want is his place!
by BY ,KATE

I wonder how long I am going to have to sit here before someone comes!!!!! And when they do come I am going to do that finger thingy to them!!!!!!
by BY , KATE

I hate it when I teleport to the fortress of Solitude!
by Phil Maurer (philm@pacbus.com)

Hmmmm...door number 1...or door number 3....come on dinete set!
by Justin Poirier

So.... I'm susposed to see a 3-d dinosaur or something.... I've been staring at it for an hour.
by Mark Jackman

Now where did I put those roller skates?
by Force O Rama

Funny but up close all those bumps look like paint on canvas
by Falling flat on my force

Bothan Whisper " I always wondered what Vaders Bathroom Looked like"
by Forcestipation

I shoulda Bought a MAC!
by Force of Mac

A Force Powered Floor Polisher!
by Force of Mind

Whoooo haaaa,,,,, Great accoustics in here! Whoooo Haaaa.........
by Force O Sound

All right, who stole my Buddha?
by Inferno

Well, we had a great time, and he said he'd call, but I just can't spend all day at the hologram projector wiating for him to call! Maybe its the helmet...
by John Hollein

Darth Vader finally discovers Superman's fortress of solitude.
by Anthony Marston

"98...99...100....Ready or not, here I come!!"
by Ripp

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep...
by Ezekial the Prophet

Darth Vader waits patiently for Bill Clinton to arrive
by Gary Newman

Now I lay me down to sleep, pray the lord my soul to keep...
by Chad Harris

Duhhhhh.....shiny,shiny wall!
by chilidroid&loooke

JESUS!! Palp...will you hurry up already.... WE'RE GONNA MISS THE PREVIEWS!!
by Van Smack

Hmm, I smell bacon.
by Jedi Master Halcyon

Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama. . . . .
by Jedi Master Halcyon

57 million chanels and nothing on
by Van Smack

Vader suddenly realizes that maybe killing off anyone who annoys him was not such a good idea... no one to play charades with
by Van Smack

Emperor (off camera): And you can get up after you think about what you've done! Vader: Awww!
by Jedi Master Halcyon

Vader-"OHHH!!!! My favorites are about to show up...EWOKS ON ICE!!"
by Van Smack

Vader-"Ever get that lonesome feeling?"
by Van Smack

Vader-"It's a small world after all...."
by Van Smack

Vader-"Ok....BRING ON THE DANCING GIRLS!!"
by Van Smack

And now, tonight's feature film: "HONEY I SHRUNK THE SITH"
by Jedi Master Halcyon

Aw, crap. I'm constipated.
by Jedi Master Halcyon

Hello? Wizard? I got the witch's broomstick like you said...Helllooo?
by khm99

"So, this is what the inside of my liver looks like?"
by Jay Robbins

Well, I knew I wanted to start taking organ lessons to spruce up my image... but how do you work this thing?!?!
by Star

VADER: I'm waiting . . . I'm Waaaaaaaaaaaaaitingggg . . . I've been kneeing here for two miiiiinutes. OFFICER : Sorry sir the emperor's ththahhugh . . . VADER: That's it call me when it's working
by Joanna Xux

"I wish I'd brought a magazine..."
by Starburn

After being splashed with a bucket of water, Vader yells, "I'm melting, I'm melting!!!....What a world, what a world!!!"
by Matt Kreiner

Help me! I shrunk!
by Dan Rutherford

"I knew when the Emporer built this oversized air hockey table I was in trouble."
by Jeremy H

"C'mon, C'mon. Where is he? My knees are killing me. I suppose he'll use that old 'an asteroid field was jamming my transmission,' excuse again."
by Jeremy H.

"Emporer? What Emporer? I'm here to see the Wizard about a problem with a witch."
by Jeremy H.

"Emperor, please get me a new lightsabor for Christmas and a new pair of legs!"
by Adam Wehunt

"This new floor polisher works great. It got rid of all that waxy buildup and saved my aching back."
by Jeremy H.

I knew I needed more fiber in my diet.
by Dan DelRossi

This is one HELL of a confessional box!!!
by Doug Avery

by Is that a pool? Now help me get this

azpree@aplhalink.com.au
by Is that a pool?

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned..."
by Clara H.

by "Good some time away from that dumb son

Logray
by "Good some time away from that dumb son"

Ahhhhh. The acoustics are perfect in here for me to practice my threatening voice. I find your lack of I find your lack of faith dis... I find your
by Crazy Harry

Darth Vader as a child having a time out.
by Crazy Harry

"The bathroom stalls sure are big on these star destroyers."
by Jeremy H.

where is everyone? are they gonna hit me with ugly stick?
by XWA_POSTAL

Vader sits, tired of waiting for someone to ask him to dance.
by Ryan Bachiochi

If I didn't have the hemorrhoids I would be able to sit in a normal seat.
by Fred Weinlein

Table and chairs in the middle, and the Buffet to the right. Okay...Now what color should the China be?
by J Nicholas Train, Denver, Colorado

So I'll just wait here? Hi?
by Darthboy

It would be the first and last time Cadet Bytheway would do the old put the wacky glue on the alter gag.
by Joy Moore

As always, Lord Vared is the first one seated for Palpatine on Ice"
by Paracho

I really need to get some furniture for this place.
by Timothy P. Donahue

Ohh, and now it's the Dark Lord of the Sith, that's right ladies and gentlemen, Lord Darth Vader himself, stepping onto the ice. In just a few moments, he'll perform. We expect 10s from the judges.
by Akire

Darth waits patiently as his yoga instructor goes out for a breath of air.
by Genocybre

Ooooooh- I'm glad the Emperor put in this new hot tub.
by O Bald 1

"I'm in pain, I'm in pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
by Tasha

Damn artificial knees!
by Genocybre

Darth tries out his new Sit-n-Spin
by Genocybre

Air Hockey takes on a whole new dimension when you become one with the game.
by Genocybre

phew! a hologram. when you said "on your knees..."
by david prestwood

"Criminy, who put the crapper in the middle of the room?"
by Brad Gravett

Michaelangelo has failed me for the last time.
by Greg Smith

And Mom used to complain that I couldn't keep a clean room
by knight26

The Escapades present: Darth Vader On Ice!
by Doby Finn

Vader preparing to perform the "Lewinsky" on the emperor
by Russ Gilbert

"And ACTION, cue the Emperor." Pause."Where is the Emperor?" "We never cast the Emperor sir" "Never cast the Emperor!" "I have this puppet he kinda looks like an emperor." "Let's do it."
by Old_Ben_Kenobi

You know, this looks good, but it could use my weapons collaction.
by me

O.K. oh put Super glue on the Holo-pad???
by Eric

Alright, who stole Jesus?!?
by Skeearmon

what is thy bidding o' wonderful wizard
by jerry

Little does Vader know that the 'stolen' Imperial camera was actually placed in his private refresher. Let's watch his reaction when our Palpatine look-alike walks in...
by Taraea Hazen

"Are you sure that the Emporor is going to be aded here?-David Prowse Yes it?s going to.And stop asking that stupid question! Okei buddy!-David Prowse(in farm acsent)
by Petri Tikka

Yamma yamma yaama. Yamma yamma yaama.
by Tobbe

This proves that the Emperor in TESB was nothing more than a Disney "Porject-O-Lantern" which Vader originally owned as a child, but couldn't bare to give up.
by Damion Graff

50.000 crew members on this ship and no-one knows what you're supposed to do in this room.
by Torgeir B. Aanes

Ehrr...there seems to be a slight malfuction with the hologram my master...ofcourse i could just walk over to a terminal and.....what do you mean that wouldn't look cool?
by Nexxus ]1ms[ (nexxus@truetech.com)

How do you start this thing? Fly, dammit, FLY!
by HarleQuiN ]1ms[

I wish he would give me that remote control once in a while.
by Echna Darr

I HATE Call Waiting. This is long distance, dammit!
by Scott C.

AAAUUGHGHH I'M MELTING INTO THE IMMENSE VAT OF GRAPE JUICE!!
by Brian James

I should do something different with these walls!
by Deron Price

Impressive! But is this the Enterprise holodeck?
by Julian Chia

I can't beleive that polish was only $0.99!
by Guy Puzey

Damn it! They forgot to replace the toilet paper! Someone will pay for this.
by Christopher M. Coulter

I told them to get two ply! Of all the incompetence. Someone will die for this.
by Christopher M. Coulter

Yes, but is it art?
by YukonCharlie

"Miss Smith, take a memo...."
by David Parmet

Darth Vader invents the Sit and spin
by Keith Adler

Darth Vader takes a knee after his brilliant skating rendition of 'Evil on Black Ice'.
by T.R. Johnson tr@reaeducation.com

Come On! Where's the damn holo-babe!?
by Carphunter

Mork, calling Orson! Come in Orson! Nanu!nanu!
by Edgar E. Lozano

"Okay, the Emperor only calls when I've done something wrong. What did I do this time? Let's see...I let the Death Star blow up...no, he's over that. I let Solo escape...nope. The asteroids? Hmm."
by T. Ackerman

Master, could the Empire issue a desk and a few chairs for this office?
by red5

I really should get caller ID. I hate taking holo-marketering calls on my knees!
by red5

Nobody wanted to come to group therapy anymore, because all Darth did was complain about his kids.
by D. Hiler

Even after the Emperor tells me to stand up, I'll still be sent to my room without any supper.
by red5

Darth Vader played by special guest star "Tatoo" from Fanasty Island.
by kessle miner

Darth Sideous' main chamber
by Dakowan80

"what happen with that Old Man? i wait for him for 2 hours !!!! what i need to a Clear Trasnmition ?? kill more Oficial? ..... Hey ... its a spider web there?
by JediBendu

DO YOU know the power of the dark side? "DV" is a tall, dark male who seeks a female for compainionship. DV values obediance and ruthlessness in his potential mate... {Galaxy Personals, Box #1138}
by C. Edwards

God, do I need a TV in this room. . . .
by Rob

Emperor Palpatine- " You've been a very naughty harbinger of death. Now go and give my pet wompa a bath!
by Danyo

"I still don't see anything!"
by Kevin Haughwout

Your new clothes are...impressive, my lord.
by Leo

This sure beats peeling potatoes. Damn, where'd that turtle wax go...
by Erik Snyder

Hello????? why doesn't anyone answer me???? Am I really that ugly????? I need some help, I am having trouble breathing....
by Pook

Hey I wonder if this thing floats , maybie if I push one of the many varieties of buttions on my sute it will fly!!! ( Ten seconds latter) WAAAHHHHOOOOOOOO !!!!
by BY, KATE1

What is thy bidding, my Mas..., ahh, again. Imperial HoloNet never works.
by DarkLord

Hold thy bidding a moment my master, I lost a contact, be with you in a second...
by Erik Snyder

Oh crap! The emperor's at his hair salon again!!
by

Now this, this is a roomy bathroom.
by Lance Kinney

What? No wizard? Oh, the *emerald* city. Damnit.
by drow

Beep... Were sorry the person you are calling is not avalible at this time
by HarJen 7725

"Boy I love this scooter Mr. Palps got me for Christmas. Now I can move around the Death Star with style!"
by benboy6

"Father, I have sinned."
by Dark Traitor (Daniel Johnson)

"Bollocks! They've taken all the action figures again!"
by James Quin

What is this star destroyer coming to? A man can't even sit on the john in peace without a camera sneaking up behind him...
by Andrey Summers

" I can't believe it! I get it to a perfect shine...and now i have to walk across to switch off the lights!"
by Miguel Galy

Don't look master! There was a long line at the bathroom
by Dale Scott

"Mork calling Orson, come in Orson..."
by Jason Carter

Mommy! Can I get up now? My knees hurt.
by Quentin Rezin

ugh! I hate constipation!
by Katie Clair

Darth Vader prepeares to be washed, waxed, and buffed by his new SithKleen 4500 `Evil Lord Blue'-colour limited edition model.
by Darren Baker

"I will NEVER be a match for Mr. T."
by robert

I really liked what they did with this place.
by Racqui

What is thy bidding my... oh crap it's out of batteries!
by Jon the MONke king

"Well I am Waiting....Master"
by Adam Flick

right, palpy.... sometimes i've got the impression speaking alone complexes might exist... what? uh... never mind.... palpy? palpy? where the hell are you?
by sigma7

Damn it, Snow White lives and she is still fairer than I
by Jim Ciscell

Man I wish this toilet was in a more secure location
by metalflaek

"I wonder if I should re-model before the Emporer shows up? I know how he likes burgandy floors... and this place could use some calico curtains... Should I make some finger sandwiches? Hmmmmm..."
by Tom Servo

Oooohhh Yeah! Time for Sit-n-Spin!
by Chad Wilson

Thinking it funny as hell, Wicket decides to chase after Luke wearing Darth Vader's suit, screaming "Who's your daddy?"
by John UpChurch

"Okay, let's see if this thing get's Playboy!"
by M. Saint

Don't be afraid!!! It's a medical condition!!!
by Mike

Those geometric shapes, the sweeping roof....I must bow to the power of Frank Lloyd Wright!
by Dave Coates

He said here be here at eight....
by Eddie

"Oilcaaan..."
by Macke Stenberg

But, I came to see the Wizard of Oz!
by Eric Richard

This is NOT what I agreed upon with my interior designer!
by Sean P. Aune

"I don't get it. Why doesn't anyone else show up to play air hockey when I'm the puck?"
by ERT

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they pi**ed me off.
by Cathy

Vader, without a sense of personal faith, turns to the Dark Side of Christianity.
by Strider

"Boss? Boss? C'mon, my knees are giving out!"
by Strider

Vader: "What is thy bidding-" Emperor: "Wait for it..."
by Strider

Please Lord, i just need some ice skates now...
by Phil Cline

"I wonder if I'm really facing Mekka?"
by Kenneth Solli

when are those d@mn movers going to deliver my furniture?
by Stout

wow what a preety wall.
by Stout

I hate it when the Emperor puts me on hold.
by Stout

The emperor told me to sit facing the wall and to think about what I did wrong.
by Stout

Where the hell is my chair? Damn that Murphy's Law!
by John Alvarez

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned."
by Bill Wilbrand

"Get me a cable modem, Captain Needa, this connection sucks."
by Pancho

Frustrated and weary, Lord Vader permits himself a brief ride on the Hockey Puck of Solitude.
by vian

"I really must think about putting some paint on those walls! "
by Clive Austin

Yes, my Lord, this is what I look like without my platform shoes.
by Jacobiowski

Darn, out of quarters.
by Warren R. Liske

Darth Vader is so bord he just sits around all day trying to use the force to kill a fly. Vader: Allmost got it... allmost..just...a little...more...YES I GOT IT,FINALLY! I hope the gard didnt see tha
by KATE1

Damnit, someone has stolen the T.V. and V.C.R again!!!
by Gareth Leonard

"So, it's true. This does slide better on snow....
by Mike Shockley

"Damn, where the hell has the T.V. gone"
by Gareth Leonard aka Cougar

I hope I'm Y2K compliant...
by Annabel Lee

Bad Anakin! Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done!
by Jason Pearce

"Wow... They've really increased the size of these toilet stalls in the Super Star Destroyers.
by Jediphile

"Hello?? Master?? Are you there?? Anybody?? Look, I've been parking my fat, Sith carcass here all day and I demand and answer!!! - Pretty please with sugar on top??"
by Luke Simmons

Forgive me, father. I have sinned.
by Mark Bishop

I hate it when he puts me on hold. Probably talking to that reptile Xizor. When I get my hands on that green bast-... Uh-oh, here he is. "What is thy bidding, my master?"
by Bob Linehan

In the seclusion of his private chamber, the Dark Lord of the Sith sheds bitter tears, realizing that no one really wants to be his Valentine.
by Bob Linehan

Vader fumed. This was the last time Communications would pull that "The-Emperor-commands-you-to-make-contact" stunt on him. This time, heads would roll. [After the necks broke, of course.]
by Bob Linehan

Bye Bye
by Ross

And Lord, I would like to have a bike for next Christmas
by

"What is thy bidding, My Master? ...... What is thy bidding, My Master?" "Ah, Lord Vader?" "What is it, Admiral?" "What in Hoth are you doing?" "Practicing, Admiral. Practicing."
by Alan Caum

Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, contemplates his iron-fisted rule of terror while becoming increasingly tired of the cheap muzak that played whenever the Emperor put him on hold.
by Alan Caum

what is thy biding my Mas...@!$#...I knew I should have gotten a 56k modem!
by JMD

"The number you have dialled has been disconnected. Please try again."
by Eamon Hamilton

Okay, I know my contact is in here SOMEwhere.
by Noktral Holt

"Dorf plays Darth Vader in Episode III"
by Hobartrus

I cannot believe I'm waxing this again, that's it! No more officers are allowed in here! Look at the skuffs!
by JonEbee502@excite.com

It's only a flesh wound! Get back here! I'll bite your legs off!
by Tiedefender

``Luke, I`m your fath...uh, I mean, What is thy bidding, my master?``
by Fred and Dave

``I always felt this room made me look short``
by Mr. Fredo and Mr. P

God ... what I wouldn't give for a nice soft 'Bog Roll'.
by Rick Harvey

"OK, I've got my surround speakers in the walls. Now where am I going to put this darn subwoofer?"
by ERT

Here I sit and hesitate, shall I shit or masturbate...?
by SanduR

You know, I really hate these time outs.....
by Colin Sweeney

"Hey! Where did everybody go? Was it something I did?"
by Eido Finlandia

owww my knees hurt!
by Devon Christopher

"All hail the mighty...wall!"
by Sean Walsh

FART!!! whew must lay off those baked beans.
by david savage

Yes, My Mast.....
by Boudy

Yes, My Mast..... Hey! Lost the connections again! Damn AT&T!
by Boudy

15
by denis

Damn, this is a spacious bathroom.
by Jabs65@aol.com

...and please forgive me for all those imperial officers I killed. I know killing is against your rules and all, but they really made me mad!
by Weasel

"Stupid shoelaces!"
by Valorum

"ah the fortress of solitude...it may not be much but it is home"
by Michael grote

No one move, I lost a contact lens.
by R2A6

However hard he tried, Vader just couldn't understand art.
by Happydude

Vader had never been one of the "popular" kids.
by Happydude

"Guys?GUYS?ANYBODY?!"
by Happydude

Damn, no toilet paper
by Kevin George

ooo,can?t he hurry i need to pie!!!!!!!!!!
by tiffanie ahola

When Darth Vader gets bord he just sits around allday and trys to use "the force" to capture flys.
by BY.KATE1

When Darth Vader gets bord he just sits around all day and trys to use "the force" to capture flys.
by BY.KATE1

"Master Palpatine wants to speak to me. I must zamboni the floor again!"
by Benjamin Walser

Damn Tattooine sandtraps!
by Alright, who moved my meditation chamber

darth vader in his baby buggy
by tony

"Kha...kha...kha....I'm...kha...lost...kha...kha..."
by chrysantheme

"...Now how do I get this thing to flush?"
by Andrew Campbell

Impressed with his THX home theater Vader spared the installer's life. (whew!)
by Jeff Kula

by Halllllleluja !!!! Halllllleluja!!!

Hallleluja!!! Hallleluja!!!
by Tupaey

oops i crapped my pants
by poop

"I don't wan't to talk to the Emperor. He's so ugly and I have to stare straight at his face and I can almost smell his bad breath through the picture. I think I need a new job."
by Kriare

Can I go now? I felt a slight tremor in the pants.
by ryan

please!,please!.. let me put a mirror ball in here,my master.
by steee

Hope he shows up soon. My knees starting to hurt...
by Daniel Eriksson

Wasn't this set used in the Voltron movie?
by Mr. D

Star Wars on Ice
by O Bald1

"When you wish upon a DEATH STAR...it doesnt matter who you are!
by WaaaahhhhPowerConverters

Using the Force during a game of Imperial Shuffleboard, Vader easily knocks Captain Piett over the edge.
by BattleStarGallacticaRules

"Come out, come out where ever you are."
by Justin Lewis, NYC

Georgi boy, we sank the Titanic, no one can stop us now!!
by harry

Master? U there? Damn! Gotta change HoloNet provider!
by Biggs

All right, everybody! Disco skate!
by Ping

Ok ! I like to order a Big Mac, some french fries, and a big coke. May i have it in a dogy bag, my space ship is double parked.
by Eric Peschen Jedi.Knight@inter.nl.net

"Suck on my chocolate salty balls" !!!
by Eric Peschen Jedi.Knight@inter.nl.net

I wase last week with "Grand Moff Tarkin" whe went tho "Taco Bell" ordert a Burito, and i wase eating it i felt something it wase the force. That made me going to the little boys room.
by Eric Peschen Jedi.Knight@inter.nl.net

Damn! That interior decorator sucks!!!
by Eric Rush

Um... could someone come over here and push my big red button? My suit needs to be rebooted again...
by Phoenix1138

"Yes my master... I'll hold."
by

When Darth Vader gets bord he sits on his little platform thingy and pretends he is talking to Emperor Palpane .
by KATE1

Kneel before Zod, Son of Jor-El!
by Your Pal Spidey

Insert Doctor Doom joke here.
by Your Pal Spidey

This is the biggest outhouse.....ever!
by Alex Tib

"Thank you, Thank you, You've been a great audience... no, no, no, that's not it. Hmmmm. Maybe with more enthusiasm... THANK YOU, THANK YOU......."
by Big Mac 77

Master - where is thy bid?t?
by Rad Radical

This place could use a nice throw rug.
by Joe Beaman

what do you want now... my master.
by hyden

so get this then i said to luke "Luke I am your father" and he said "nooooooooooooooooooooooo" it was so funny. hey did you hang up on me.
by darth faul

Oh, please God, bring back Star Wars on Ice.
by T-Bob

"So what's my motivation here Kersh? Am I supposed to be afraid of this hologram thingy? Can I just get someone to say "BOO!"?"
by Dave Kelsey

Testing Testing Testing
by Dave